Selling home emotions

jennifernil

We ( 77 and 83) have decided not to move, after considering the pros and cons, but will adapt the house as and when necessary. It is a unique property.

We have been here 38 years, the house is large, was built to our own design, and quite a lot of the work was done by us, so we know it is well built, and we know how it all works.

Some things, electrical items and boilers, been replaced over the years, and normal maintenance carried out. In the last 3-4 years we have also had 2 bathrooms refitted, replacing baths with easy access showers. We may at some point need a stair lift. There is an integral “granny flat” of kitchen, bathroom, living room and bedroom.

We did consider moving, but having been able to choose everything in this house, we are not keen to have to live with things chosen by others, nor to have to start renovating some old property. We like where we live, there are some shops nearby, it’s a short drive to doctor, dentist and supermarkets, and we now have a better bus service than when we first came here. We also have solar panels with FIT, that pays for all our fuel bills.

We do have garden help occasionally, and now pay a painter to do outside painting. Any major work we now get done by someone who has been recommended by a family member.

Yes, the house is bigger than we really need, but we seem to have spread out to fill the space! The main living rooms are all upstairs, so we have used part of the granny flat as admin space, and could move into the bedroom to be all on one level, apart from the utility room.

I do keep an eye on what is available should we need to move, but there are very few true bungalows around, and most flats seem to come with small rooms, are in busy areas, or are extremely expensive when lifts and bigger rooms are involved, as are moving costs due to stamp duty etc.

Our daughter lives only a 10 minute drive away, we look after 2 grandchildren 2 days per week, so would not want to move to a different, less expensive area.

When one of us dies, the other will either sell up and go to live with her, or she + family will move into this house, our 2 children will inherit half of this house at that point. We are very fortunate to have options available for the future.

Jemma01

Think about the fresh start and the excitement that comes with new things. We tend to get complacent overtime, a change always revives our good old habits that probably died away with time and routine. Sometimes we need a change to look forward to something.

silvercar

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/81954317#Comment_81954317

it’s future proofing. The last thing you need is to be bereaved in a house you can’t manage alone.

BungalowBel

We had lived in our house for the best part of forty years and yes, initially it was a wrench to leave it. The main thing I was worried about was my wildlife pond, which had had breeding frogs in it for forty years - where would the frogs go if they filled it in? But I decided I mustn't worry about that, there was nothing I could do to influence anything and I would never know anyway.

However, when the time came to move, we moved into our bungalow with no regrets whatsoever. We made another wildlife pond and have now been here ten years and never once regretted it.

Once you see your house without its furniture, etc, you won't feel so sentimental about it.

And be quite brutal about decluttering if you are downsizing. You don't want your new home to look pokey and cluttered.

teresa54

Any words of wisdom about how to deal with this please?

As someone above said, don't move unless you really want or need to - listing pros and cons can help make up your mind. Once you've decided you want to leave, it will in theory be easier. If you're both weepy about it then leave it a day or two and go back to pros and cons, and when you both feel certain, then make the decision. Indecisiveness is the real grinder on emotions so keep going back to the pros and cons until you both feel firmer in your decision, whatever it is].

So

IFF you decide to move it can help to empty and clean one cupboard or drawer at a time, putting back only the things you want to take.

That way you get a few points forward in letting go each time, which is more manageable.

Getting someone to do it may leave you feeling out of control of the process, and it may prove expensive if you have to make a decision on every cupboard as they go on.

I've done it countless times; I tend to grieve in retrospect, but I've survived.

Best of luck to you both!

Herzlos

Memories will come with you, and fundamentally the house is just a thing. If it's no longer suitable, then you'll enjoy life in the smaller one more. Especially if there's less work involved! If you're getting older, then you also want to downsize whilst you can still (a) physically do the move and (b) make use of any money you get back out.
I always figured when we got to retirement we'd downsize and spend the money on cruises.

We moved about 3 years ago now, from the house we brought the kids up in and whilst it felt really odd and we were sad about it at first we can't even imagine moving back.