Money Moral Dilemma: Who should pay the bar bill for the hotel stay I got my mum and dad?

2702

If I received a gift of a hotel stay I would expect to pay for drinks myself.

How did they manage to check out without paying the bill?

I would want an itemised bill perhaps it included meals?

Are you well off? As your parents think you can pay for this, they must have an idea of what the bill is.

I would discuss the bill with them perhaps they don't know the bill is so much also the bill may be incorrect only they know what they drank or ate. Also when they see how much it is they may offer to pay it or split it with you.

They are your parents so although you said you would pay I am sure they would either pay it or part of it.

oldtrout

Can the OP let us know which hotel this was, please? A spa hotel, allowing drinks on a tab, charged to the room. Then allowing guests to check out without paying for the drinks? Never known it in my life!

gothvixen

Everyone knows that you can take your own alcohol to your hotel. That is outrageous. I'd give them £50 and tell them the resy was their own decision and responsibility.

Cantandrex

The bill seems a little unreasonable, hence I would be expecting them to pay it for themselves! The gift was the spa break and as it appears that no arrangement had been made re the drinks they shouldn't be expecting them to be paid for. I hope that you don't feel duty bound to pay their drinks bill - they are adults after all, and likely knew the cost of their over-indulgence!

primrose_penguin

You gave them a very generous anniversary gift, which must have cost you quite a bit. However you are not responsible for what they drink during their break and am also surprised your Mum didn't refuse your kind offer to pay their drinks bill, if you had known what they had spent you obviously would not have offered to pay it. I also find it very strange that they could leave the hotel without paying for their extras, are you sure it has not already been taken from either her credit card or yours? Unless you can easily afford this cost I would have a chat to your Mum and Dad and tell them you didn't realise how much the bar bill was and perhaps it could be split 3 ways (or whatever you can afford), and as others have said make sure you get an itemised bill that your parents can corroborate.

ukdannyb

To those of you saying they said they'd pay so should pay; what's the maximum they should be willing to pay?

What if the bill was £1000? That may seem ridiculous but so does £400 to me.

I think they should pay something like the amount they expected it would be plus 25%, and explain they hadn't appreciated how expensive the minibar must have been, asking the parents to pay the rest.

Tim11111000111

OP messed up a bit by blindly offering to pay. Normal etiquette would be the gift is the hotel stay (sometimes you can get packages that include a bottle of prosecco or whatever); if the guest wants to buy extra drinks whilst they are there, that's on them. But OP moved away from that normal approach by offering to pay the bill, whatever it may be.

Having offered to pay, I do think it's slightly poor form to back out, but on the other hand it is your mum (so hopefully she'd be forgiving), and £400 is a pretty steep bill (how does that compare to the initial cost of the spa break?)

Have you seen an itemized bill? Do your parents agree it is accurate? Also, would you consider this bill to be normal for your parents (noting that it could either represent quite a lot of drinking, or a far more modest amount of expensive drinks) - i.e. when you offered to pay, could you have reasonably foreseen a large bill, or was it a complete shock?

onesixfive

Just lifting bottles and cans up in some hotel mini bars can trigger a charge, i found from experience. You need an itemised bill. Assuming the cost appeared on your card as you paid for the hotel. On the other hand they could have been ordering celebration champagne without realising the cost. Either way you need to discuss what exactly they drank with them, what it cost, and who is going to pay for it.

Woodstok2000

Everyone assuming this is just drinks, it could easily include food too if they ate in the bar, or even if they ate in the restaurant (lunches and dinners) and the mum has referred to it all as the 'bar bill'.

£400 on food and drinks over a couple of days is pretty reasonable for 2 people, but I'm still not sure I would have offered to pay for it all! Since OP was so generous to offer though (without checking the amount) I think they need to stick to their word.

beefygran

Your mum and dad should foot the bill for any extras on top of what you paid for their accommodation. I'd expect to do that if my children paid for a hotel stay for me and my husband.