Money Moral Dilemma: Who should pay the bar bill for the hotel stay I got my mum and dad?

MSE_Kelvin

This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks…

As a wedding anniversary present, I paid for my mum and dad to go on a spa break. When they got back, I asked my mum if everything had been OK. Mum said they'd had a great time - but she needed to pay the bar bill for their room. I told her not to worry, I'd cover it as part of the gift. When I called the hotel to settle up, the bill turned out to be £400! Should I ask my mum and dad to pay me back?

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JGB1955

The parents wouldn't have been able to check out without paying the bill… would they?

mebu60

How did they leave without settling up? They would have had to leave credit card details at check-in to run a tab which would've been used if they didn't formally check-out.

If you didn't set you parents a budget for drinks then you'll have to take the hit. How long were they there for? If it was only a handful of days I'd be questioning how they ran up such a bill and challenge the hotel if they say they didn't get anywhere near that figure.

elsien

Hi mum.

Glad you had a great time on holiday. I know I said I’d pay your bar bill but that was before I realised you had completely drunk the place dry. I’d quite like to be able to afford my own beer once in awhile between now and the next decade, so please can we go halves/thirds/eighths/insert percentage of choice.

PS I’ve also attached the leaflet for alcoholics anonymous, in case there’s something that you’re not telling me.

Love you.

Sorted.

MSE_Kelvin

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/81927278#Comment_81927278

We've an early frontrunner for the hardly-conveted Money Moral Dilemma Comment Of The Week Award 🏆️😄

Missy15

I am very surprised your mother didn't say no, it's far too high! and you have already given us a lovely gift thank you.

I am also surprised that it wasn't settled before they left, not sure how they managed that🤔

PostHoc25

I'd definitely be wanting to see an itemised bill. That seems ludicrous. As others have said, I am confused that it has not already been pre-charged either to you because you booked, or them because they gave card info when checking in.

As per usual with money … if you can afford it - no issue.

If you can just afford it - suggest it covers their next Birthday/Xmas gifts too.

If you can barely afford it, offer to split it in half with them.

If you can't afford it - be upfront and ask them to pay, but again get an itemised bill first.

Southendormargate

You offered to pay so pay

PennysIntoPounds

Also puzzled how they were able to check out without paying their bill.

However, presuming the dilemma (is real and) has been edited without including pertinent details, it may have been a week long stay somewhere that included a spa and if they were each having a canned cocktail before dinner and opening a bottle of wine a few times as a nightcap, maybe sharing with holiday buddies, or staying in their room most evenings and having a couple of glasses of wine with dinner, and taking bottles of water out with them every day, and taking a juice or two out each every day, at hotel prices that can easily get to £400.

In fact at hotel room mini bar prices you could probably do that in a weekend!

It's not really a dilemma as you said it was your treat and then you specifically said you'd pay that bill.

I would want an itemised bill from the hotel though as if there are costs that don't seem in keeping with your parents tastes then that would indicate a mix-up. Don't know what you could do to dispute it at this late stage but maybe someone with knowledge of how hotels keep tabs on mini bars could help.

If it'll leave you skint because of it then by all means ask them to chip in but you'll feel shoddy and you'll make them feel shoddy. Would you have paid £400 extra if that's what the original booking fee was for you to treat them to what sounds like a much enjoyed and treasured anniversary that they're grateful for?

Eccentrica_Gallumbits

How were they able to leave without paying the bar/drinks bill themselves? I'd want to know that.

If the cost of the bill is £400, I'd want an itemised bill in writing.

Then I'd ask myself honestly if I could afford it. Generally I would be trying to take the hit if I could possibly do that because I had said I would cover the bill. I'd take it as a lesson in not committing to something like that without all the information first!

Assuming, however, that you can't afford it, then I would have that conversation with your parents, saying "Look, I know I said I would take care of your drinks bill from the hotel, but when it arrived, it came to £400 - I don't know if you knew that? Well, I'm afraid that although I offered to cover it, when I realised the bill was that high, I found that actually I can't meet a drinks bill that high. Can we talk about me paying a proportion of it instead?"

Then offer the amount that you think you can afford. Your parents might even be embarrassed to realise that the bill was that high, and offer to cover it all. I think mine would definitely have done that - although my father would have asked me for the itemised bill to check it and challenge it if necessary.

bikaga

Hotel minibars are insane. You don't need to go completely over the top to rack up a sizeable bill. Even just a few bottles of water and a packet of crisps and a chocolate bar each day for 2 people can get you to £100 for a long weekend, that's before adding any alcohol or "premium" raw food / protein snacks / health foods / whatever the spa hotel is flogging for their "partners". If the hotel is in a "peaceful location" without shops nearby, people can be easily tricked into making the place a bit of extra money.

Might be worth asking your parents if they were aware they were racking up such a huge bill. I don't know your parents' age, but if say they aren't super tech savvy and the prices were only available via a QR code on a card that says "Help yourselves to our tasty minibar", there might be room for some negotiation and pointing out that they didn't have a way of knowing just how expensive stuff was.

Nevertheless, I'd feel bad to give a bill like that to the person who already paid for my trip without a warning. Maybe try and find a compromise with them? I don't think you could've expected £400! (They probably didn't, either.)