Help for elderly

littleredhen

Long story short, a friend of a friend needs help with money saving on things like bills, insurance etc. I have recently started helping out but there are a couple of issues with this, 1st is that I will be moving away, 2nd is my friend only really wants to help her friend with things like shopping. The lady has very little family, no children etc and both my friend and I feel sad that she should have to navigate these issues alone. She is getting a little confused with life and having to navigate around these things are difficult for her - any helpful advice please and thank you

jaybeetoo

Have you made Social Services aware? They can be very helpful.

littleredhen

My friend used to be a social worker so is fully aware of the system and we were both talking about it yesterday and what are the next steps - I suggested this but somehow it feels like over stepping the mark - my friend would take that step if she felt it was right but at the moment we are just trying to help her get her bills in a reasonable order so she doesn't get ripped off or stuck with high bills

elsien

https://www.ageuk.org.uk/information-advice/money-legal/cost-of-living/

Scroll to the bottom and there is an advice line as well as the fact sheets

Also worth looking to see if there is a local branch that can offer face-to-face Support

Has your friends thought about making a power-of-attorney for the future? This is something that some solicitors will take on, although for a fee obviously.

infj

One of the charities perhaps? CAB or Age UK or something local?

Brie

as elsien suggests it may be time to get a POA set up. Finances obviously as that's what we're talking about but a health one would be good too. If your social worker friend is happy to take this on it is possible to DIY it for about £90 each POA as opposed to a significantly larger amount with a solicitor. But possibly the solicitor taking responsibility at some point would be a better option as family isn't available.

your friend could in the mean time be added to the other's bank account(s) as third party authority. The banks can set this up for free by meeting with the account holder and your friend. What it means is that friend would have the ability to do any banking transactions, take money out of an ATM, set up payments, etc on behalf of the account holder. It does of course include a big amount of trust.

elsien

If you reread the first post, the friend does not want that level of involvement. Hence the question as to who else there is.

littleredhen

Thanks for all the suggestions - my friend is actually elderly too and therefore can't take on more responsibility for her friend - but thank you - we have spoken to another friend who is willing to get more involved so think we have reached a solution for her

middlewife

There's a fine balance to be struck between helping and interfering. I have volunteered locally as a befriended for elderly people, but it is made abundantly clear that our role is social and not practical. Depending on financial situation she might get some help with home help visits to help with shopping, cleaning, lots of agencies can offer that sort of help. With regard to online services, some charities offer silver surfer training and loan out tablets to help with booking drs appointments, ordering prescription, groceries and online banking, but if she is cognitively declining then someone as described above, would have to take this on for her via poa. It takes about 4 months to come through, then another couple of appointments to organise banks and doctors. I have poa for an elderly aunt for health and my sis has finance. She lives 2 hours away and once I've recovered from surgery, I will have to go down with ID and proof of address and aunty in tow to get full access to her medical records as at 93, she really can't cope any more. Sis already does the Bank.

It is amazing how many people do not put things in place in advance and just assume that life will always carry on the same. Whether through fear, pride, not wanting to be a burden, it's hard to say, good luck.

Murphybear

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/81914846#Comment_81914846

Sadly the worst can happen, often when you least expect it, I have recent experience of this

My brother developed Alzheimer’s and is in a care home. His wife was responsible for him and had Power of Attorney. Sadly last year she had a stroke and died 3 days later. I am trying to sort it out with his wife’s brother. The house is in the worst shambles you’ve ever seen. He’s going to have Deputyship to enable him to manage things and sell the house but that takes 4-6 months to set up. 

The only slightly good thing was that when I visited him in the care home I was advised he might not recognise me but when I saw him he said “are you my sister?” 😺

middlewife

Sorry Murphy bear, that's a lot to deal with. It's a good idea to have 2 attorney for each poa, but make sure that either can sign, that it doesn't have to be both or it's a nightmare. Wishing you luck x