My Old Style 'Full Circle' - Sorry, bit long

jannyannie

Hi Apinnyon

Thanks for sharing your story, it seems to illustrate very well this mad materialistic world we live in. When I met my husband he was a single parent with his two boys living with him. When we started living together I had a high grade job in nursing, which paid good money but was increadibly stressful. We nearly didn't get married at all. We were also trying for a baby at this time and not suprisingly nothing was happening. I decided to downgrade my job and work for an agency. I earned just as much doing less work, saw more of my family, was a nicer person to live with and got pregnant.

I went back to work when our son was 3 and a half months old doing nights, not what I wanted but we were so broke. I didn't want him going to a childminder so I slept when he did. It was really tough. I now work 22 and a half hours a week. I could work more but chose to go without, cook from scratch, budget and save. Some people seem to look down their noses at me but I really don't care. We don't need all the things we think we do to be happy. Most people around where I live don't have much but they are all friendly sociable people.

Thankyou :A xxxxx

apinnyon

I was guilty of the ready made mash too, even though I would always buy, and invariably throw out, bags of potatoes. I always felt disappointed with myself about it though. I would buy my ready made yorkshires, washed lettuce and microwave meals and think to myself I was a failure because I always managed without these things when I couldn't afford them. I think that really contributed to my depression.

Thanks again for all your replies.

Penny-Pincher!!

Hiya!

Dont beat yourself up too much as sometimes we have to make compromises. I find it difficult to mix the batter for yorkies sometimes, so now have Aunt Bessies as back up, a couple of bags of frozen veg and some tins in reserve.

Keep your chin up and you KNOW you can do it.

PP
xx

apinnyon

Thanks jannyannie x My husband says I am a much nicer person to live with since I gave up work, like the old me before I started working. I think that's a compliment, but then I was 14 when we met...

The world we live in makes us think we need so much more than we do. There is still so much pressure on women to be superhuman and work full time AND be a domestic goddess (whilst looking like a supermodel). I thought I could be all of those things and I thought for a while that I wanted to be. Now I realise that all I really ever wanted to be was a wife and mum. Now I've admitted that to myself I feel so much better.:D

Austin_Allegro

Interesting to hear all these stories. I was reading a good article recently which posited the theory that most people aren't actually any richer than their counterparts were 30 or 40 years ago - they just appear to be because of dual incomes, working/commuting longer hours, and easy credit. I think a lot of people are starting to realise it's not worth it.

They called that programme 'The Good Life' for a reason!

thriftlady_2

apinnyon wrote: »

really ever wanted to be was a wife and mum. Now I've admitted that to myself I feel so much better.:D

Oh, me too -it really is all I ever wanted to be -just like my mum (although she was a magistrate too and did lots of voluntary work which isn't really my scene).

I hate having to apologise for it though, well, I don't anymore;) My OH has a friend though, who, on the rare occasions we see him, always says 'are you doing anything now?' to which I always reply 'no, still sitting on my a**e all day watching TV and eating chocolates'. Mind you I do spend a large portion of my day:rotfl: gassing on here.

beachbeth

I always knew I wanted children and I also intended to stay at home with them as long as possible. I managed to stay at home for 2 years before things got so tight that I had to go out part time. But they came first as I don't think you should have children and then leave them to someone else unless you really have to.

By the time my kids were 10 and 12 I had to give up work because of stress and depression and have been able to stay at home since. I am so much more happy being at home and looking after my family and like to make meals from scratch as it is so much more healthier. People ask what I do and when I say I stay at home they always look surprised as though they've never met anyone that did that before!!!

Of course not everyone can afford to stay at home and Im not knocking them, but if you can stay at home and it means just doing without a big house and new car in order to look after your kids then I think you should. However, all those parents who juggle work and family successfully are amazing to me!

Think about the money Britney Spears must have and just look at the mess she is in! She has just lost custody of her children too.

beachbeth

PS: My own parents owned a shop and we lived behind it, so even though my parents were always there they weren't really 'there'. They never had time to read stories or answer questions and I felt like they were getting impatient with me if I asked them anything. I always really envied my friends because when I went to visit them their mums were stay-at-home (this was early 70's) and seemed to have all the time in the world for them. I always vowed that I would be this kind of mum. My parents were very well off and yet I felt jealous of my much poorer friends with their homely mums.

Linda32

A great story thank you so much for posting it. I hope to see you around alot too, :T

apinnyon

My 16 year old son's friends are always in our house lately ( probably because of the homemade cake:D ) I was talking to one of them a few weeks ago and he said he wished his mum was a 'proper' mum like me. He was referring to the fact that his mum works long hours, so is not at home when he gets in from school. I nearly cried!