Money Moral Dilemma: Should I lend £20,000 to my in-debt in-laws and risk not getting it back?

Wordsmith11

Absolutely not! Their issues are as a result of their own poor decisions. Why not buy off them the house in which you are currently living? That way they get the money they need and you become home owners?

badmemory

I do hope you are paying the mortgage amount direct to the mortgage company & not to the in-laws.  If not you could find yourself minus the £20k & being evicted because the mortgage hasn't been paid.

Hummybee

No, do not lend them any money. They’ve shown they are irresponsible so just stay out of their money problems.

Jemma01

It's not clear how much help you got from them if you are living in their home? Did you just overtake the mortgage for a house they put a deposit for? How much deposit did they put! Is the home still under their name and you are just paying the mortgage in lieu of rent? It does sound like they helped you when you needed them.

Lot's of questions really that I know these sort of posts don't answer.

RobM99

cheerful said:

Landlords who own three properties borrowing money from a couple who don't even own their own home?  I think the answer is obvious.

That sums it up in one easy sentence!

MEM62

Forget lending it.  It will sour you family relationship.  If you are in a financial position to choose to gift it and forget about it then all well and good.  Otherwise, you are not in a position to help them.  

Moby_Dick

Give them the £20,000, but as the purchase price of the house you live in. It removes one of their problems, and gets you a house of your own.

[Deleted User]

My in-laws have a mountain of debt in mortgages on three properties. My father-in-law quit his well-paid job after burning out, the bills piled up and now they’re skint. I've inherited some money, and my wife wants me to lend her parents £20,000 to see them through selling their house. But we were going to use that money to buy our own home - we live in one of their properties and have been covering the mortgage there. And as they don’t expect to make a profit on the sale of their home, it wouldn't be so much a loan as a grant. Am I wrong for thinking we shouldn’t bankroll them given their poor financial and life decisions?

My response: -

You are not wrong for thinking that, they have made very bad decisions and it is not your job to rectify the issues they have raised for themselves. the onus is not on you. I would first have a quiet word with your wife and make sure you are on the same page, explain that £20,000 is not something you can just give away, you wanted to use the money for both yours and her future and that if it was your children sacrificing their future would you want that? Tell your wife what you can offer, whether that be time to help them get the properties in a saleable condition or whether it is explaining about MSE site and the forum, where they will get advice anonomously for their whole situation, particulary debt free wannabes. Even if you like the place where you live I would not even consider purchasing the property that way any issues that arise can not come back and be the great relationship seperater between you and your wife (By means of bad feelings for any issues that you face from the transaction). Explain to your wife that if they have no money how are they going to pay it back. If your wife can't get on the same page as you after explaining the situation make sure you understand why, whether it is because you have been living cheaply in one of their properties or because they are her parents and she doesn't want to see them go through hardship in which case you need to re-iterate that you both come first and that you still need to secure both of your futures. I really hope your wife is a good lass and sees your point of view and doesn't try to force your hand. All the best. Crazy.

sternsteven

If you dont need £20k you can do it but  they need to réalign their lives - reducing expenditure.    Did you benefit from the good Times - creating the equity in the property you’re living in.  Do they need to sell the other properties to reduce outgoings and débt - or are they earning rent income

JayD

You give us no idea of just how much you have inherited - so we have no way of knowing what impact loaning £20k would have, other than you say you need it to help buy your own property.

So, if you need it to house yourselves - freeing up a property for your inlaws to sell - you can't afford to loan that sum to them. Which you can easily explain to both your wife and inlaws.

Similarly, the property you will be vacating will allow them to sell it and so they will eventually have some money coming their way. Yes, there will be an in-between continuation of the financial problems they currently have but they should be seeking advice and help from the agencies that exist to provide advice and help - and it would be foolish of them if they have not already done so.

Furthermore, you should never lend money to a family member and expect it to be returned. It rarely is repaid in full, if at all, and always causes nasty rifts in the family - including your own..