Money Moral Dilemma: Should I lend £20,000 to my in-debt in-laws and risk not getting it back?

oldtrout

Honestly? These MMD get worse. Every sympathy if this is a true dilemma, but we will ever find out. Does the original poster every reply?

Even though we're told they are real life cases, we never get a response.  No response from MSE either

Sapindus

Probably the reason given for not selling the spare houses would be that they will not get as much with tenants in situ, or the houses need improvement.  But a bird in the hand etc...

DAN56

I'd be very wary about offering them an unsecured loan. Are you in a position to buy the property off them, which would ease their debt burden?

04Felix15

No! 

I get why your partner is thinking with her heart as it’s her parents. 

You on the other hand, need to think with your head for the both of you, and make the right decision. 

By the sounds of it your in laws have enjoyed the highs throughout their lives. If you give them the money and they cannot pay you back, have you consider the extra stress and burden you would put on their heads every time they look at you or their child. 

Plus if you were to lose your inheritance and you’re not able to get a home of your own, and your in laws are still in debt. 

Will you feel angry? Will this affect your marriage short or long term? Will this affect your mental heath ? 

It’s up to you at the end of the day! 

All the best !

Mrs_mouseThrostle3

MSE_Kelvin said:

This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

My in-laws have a mountain of debt in mortgages on three properties. My father-in-law quit his well-paid job after burning out, the bills piled up and now they’re skint. I've inherited some money, and my wife wants me to lend her parents £20,000 to see them through selling their house. But we were going to use that money to buy our own home - we live in one of their properties and have been covering the mortgage there. And as they don’t expect to make a profit on the sale of their home, it wouldn't be so much a loan as a grant. Am I wrong for thinking we shouldn’t bankroll them given their poor financial and life decisions?

Unfortunately the MSE team can't answer Money Moral Dilemma questions as contributions are emailed in or suggested in person. They are intended to be a point of debate and discussed at face value. Remember that behind each dilemma there is a real person so, as the forum rules say, please keep it kind and keep it clean.

If you haven’t already, join the forum to reply.
Got a Money Moral Dilemma of your own? Suggest an MMD.
View past Money Moral Dilemmas.

Please don't do it. I leant my parents money and they never repaid it. I don't speak to my mother anymore. I also leant my daughter £130000 for a house purchase, taking out a mortgage on my own property...on condition she paid the interest. She married a drug addict...you can guess the rest.. Money and families don't mix. In fact I would say don't ever lend money. Money is root of all evil......just look at our messed up world. 

homerjimpson

As others have pointed out, why do people talk about "owning 3 properties and having money problems" as if that's normal? It used to be that you owned one property, and it was your house and you lived in it, and that was that. 

The OP doesn't say, but I do wonder whether this property that they're living in was bought specifically by the in-laws for their daughter and family to live in, and that now the boot is on the other foot or whatever, and it's the in-laws with cash problems, it's time for the kids to help out the parents just as the parents helped out the kids. 

But I don't know, £20k is a heck of a lot of money, and unless there was some obvious tangible benefit and it wasn't just disappearing into the insatiable maw of the money-hole, or the arrangement was that you were simply gifting it to them with no expectation of repayment and you were comfortable with that, I probably wouldn't.  

MollyR

I wonder where the inheritance came from - the OP's own parents, perhaps, or some other close family member?  And I wonder whether the person who left that inheritance to him would have been equally willing to leave it to the OP's in-laws instead?  Highly unlikely!  So if one receives a gift in the form of an inheritance, is it morallyright to risk throwing it away?

Also, of course, we don't know how much the inheritance actually was, just that the OP's wife wants to give £20,000 of it to her parents - that might be all of it, or just a part of it.  If he was going to use the inheritance to buy their own home, he would need rather more than £20,000 even for a deposit (plus fees, stamp duty etc.) in many parts of the country!

YorkBrucie

This must me a made up question.  
Use the money to buy your own house.
Family-in law now have a house to sell to get the money. 
Simple.