Steadily climbing the mountain, enjoying the view along the way

Greying_Pilgrim

Humdinger1 said:

Yes, looking up thread, I think people don't die till you've made your peace with them.  

Genuine question; do you have to make your peace with them (I'm assuming it can be remotely, and not in a face-to-face manner?), or do you give yourself permission to be at peace with your decision to cut them off/not talk to them/move away, or whatever.  I am asking because I don't know, I'm not querying anyone's actions. 

In my particular situation, I have decided to greyrock, and have now reached the point where I don't get anxious if I see the person, it's mostly indifference I feel.  I guess I'm done.  

Greying X

KajiKita

Thanks @badmemory, though how are you seeing them if they’re dead …? 🤔
@Brewerspride, pretty much though it’s interesting how people around me are reacting. 

@f0xh0les,that made me LOL 😊 I shared with Mr KK and he chuckled too. Thank you x
@debtfreewannabe321, ooof that’s cheeky! 😳 Spicy karma coming her way at some point methinks …
Thanks @PennysIntoPounds, all good advice and actually when I left him as my teacher, I did genuinely thank him for everything he’d done for me. 

@Humdinger1, thank you for the ever resolute vote of confidence ❤️ No, I don’t think I will say anything to him a) because when my best friend went ‘Alright’ when she saw him in the street at one point (like you do with anyone you know) he went into full on melt down and started screaming at her in public, calling her demonic and a traitor etc etc and b) I have exactly nothing to say to him. I don’t particularly want to know about him and I don’t want him knowing a mm more about me, my life now or that of my friends than he might already. 

KK

badmemory

Fear mostly.  To be fair he was an ex-H.  He used to drive on the pavement to try to hit me or maybe just scare me, I've no idea which.  It does make you very aware of your surroundings though.  He also tried to crash head on into my parents car.  My father told him if he did that again he would punch him on the nose & the ex called the police.  Big mistake.  The police called to see my father who at that time was really not well & struggled to get out of his chair let alone punch someone on the nose.  Their next stop - the ex to warn him off.  Thankfully not the father of DS who was my 2nd ex-H.

KajiKita

That sounds really tough @badmemory …. I’m sorry you went through that. Sending hugs x

KK

Humdinger1

Yes @badmemory that sounds appalling.   Hope you're OK now - you've done brilliantly to get to this place.  I'm not sure @Greying_Pilgrim re your question.   I think my answer would probably lie in reality is quite rightly  in your head as much as outside it.  @KajiKita the vote of confidence is more than justified!  I'm proud to be a member of our group, full of independent, resilient  thinkers who know when it's time to share.  Onwards and upwards love Humdinger xx 

Brie

I had a nasty ex who didn't accept that the relationship was over.  I moved about 2k miles away and he showed up at my work one day.  Just to say hi, he said.  

When I moved back closer to home a few years later I ran into him when he was hired to work with my employer.  One of my colleagues was surprised I knew him and commented that he was one of the nastiest people she'd ever met.  I do know how to pick them!

badmemory

Someone did once tell me I was a loser magnet.  Not something I can disagree with.  The trouble is they never seem like losers to start with so I think I must convert them.

northwalesd

badmemory said:

Someone did once tell me I was a loser magnet.

I'd have asked them if that was why they were hanging around.

KajiKita

I got out to d@ncemums again last night! 🎉🥳🎊 Slept very badly as a result and am sore this morning, but I’m still moving and got back at it after a week off, so I’m proud of that. 😊 The class was better last night - the teacher was actually breaking down the moves and showing us a bit more and it actually felt at some points like I was dancing 😊 Got out for a walk at lunchtime as well so I feel fully justified in having a rest day today 😉😂 (The weather is horrendous here as well though … 😉). 

£6.95 TCB landed so that got sent off as an OP along with 77p of a TT of our joint account 😊

I will do some yoga stretching this evening or I know I will have another bad night. 

KK

Merlin's_Beard

sounds like it's getting better in terms of the teaching - good!