For those who don't find this time of year easy...

Wyndham

As I approach the first Christmas without a loved one, I know there are many others for whom this time of year is far from easy. So if you are feeling sad in the midst of others (seemingly) having a joyous and wonderful time, please be assured you are not alone.

We often put much pressure on ourselves over the festive season. Everything has to be 'perfect'. Everything has to be 'happy'. Family dynamics can ceertainly have their challenges. But here's the thing - some of my best Christmasses were when things went wrong, when we laughed (and sometimes cried) through it all. These are the stories we then tell year after year and laugh and cry once more. The 'perfect' Christmasses are long forgotten.

Whatever you are doing, wherever you are doing it and whoever you are doing it with, I wish you all a Merry, but also maybe 'messy' Christmas.

Abbafan1972

What a lovely post.

Wishing a very Merry & "Messy" Christmas too!

BridgetTheCat

Some of the best Christmases I’ve had were when I was doing amateur panto 🤡🥳. We’d rehearse all through October, November & December up to our dress rehearsal/press & VIP night on Xmas eve, then 1 day off before starting a 2 week run - 2 shows a day - on Boxing Day.

It was always very hard work on top of a full time job but Whether I was performing or backstage it was an incredible feeling to come together in common purpose and there’s nothing quite like hearing a packed theatre laughing, singing along and rising in applause at the end of a show.

For those years Christmas Day (the one day off) was a blip, a tiny hiatus of calm when I stayed in my jammies all day, ate sandwiches and read a book, and I enjoyed it all the more for that.

Misslayed

If you’re struggling over the holiday, there may be something here to help you-

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/6576551/some-websites-and-helplines-if-youre-struggling-this-christmas

twopenny

My best wishes are with you Wyndham.
It's a subject people don't like to mention because the pressure from big business and the media is up to 4mts long now. You can't escape 

But from someone who lost the last of their family 40yrs ago and long term friends from 2020 it's tough going to be different.
I did try to join others for the day but thereby hang some funny tales 😄

It's not the day but the long run up that is hard.

It's the only country I know that is total commercialism. I used to deal with it by getting away. Bargain holidays to be had.
Spain, low key, sunny, community parades, fireworks , lights shows to which you're welcome, 
Italy, gorgeous street lights, Nativity scenes, gatherings for all.
A small boat on the Indian Ocean for snorkeling and festivities at night for all.

If the weather is fine at home I've sunbathed on a harbour on the day with a Christmas picnic and good book. 
Head for the moors or nature reserve with my camera and Christmas picnic.
Hospital visiting was more cheering than you might expect. You really appreciate having your own home after
Some churches do a Christmas meal for those alone and volunteering to help can be a surprising amount of laughs.

So create your own treat and come out happier than trying to conform to what Hollywood and the mega businesses try to sell you.
Do something you love and have your favourite meal. It doesn't have to be traditional with all the clearing up.

ButterCheese

I always have a lot of anxiety around this time of year, as though you've got to put a face on for your family otherwsie comments are made.  Worse if you have children and their grandparents are staying!  I've just spoken to a colleague who is feeling exactly the same.  Talking about it helps, either find a professional or one of the helplines, or even just someone you trust who will not judge you or try to "fix" all your issues in one sentence.

When I think back to the 80s as a child, we had our grandparents over and it was a magical time.  These days it's an entirely different dynamic with more distractions, more of the commercial monster being choved down our throat, being told by the media what we need to buy and how we need to feel, all so they can extract the last remaining coppers from our pockets.  

And everyone assumes that you have/had a chocloate box christmas where it's all smiles.  Not possible for some, and I sympathise with these people at the moment

Wyndham

Thank you for some lovely comments here! I posted then moved away to have my Christmas, so hadn't seen them until now. So interesting to hear about other experiences, and I'm really grateful to you all.

My Christmas lovely - still 'messy' but 'messy good' (as opposed to last year which was certainly 'messy bad'!) 

I hope others found happiness and peace at this sometimes very difficult time.

london21

First christmas after lsong my father. It was hard but we pulled through.

Thanks 

silvercar

Firsts can often be hard. As can establishing what the new ‘normal’ should look like.