Investing in Us: Holidays, Health, and the Road to £150k

KajiKita

I was going to say something along the same lines as Daisy, but a lot simpler …

Does this friendship spark joy in you? 

If it doesn’t, why are you sustaining it and should it go? 

Well done on the Roman buys … seriously tempted to go and have a look myself now … 🤔

KK

debtfreewannabe321

Thanks @daisy_1571 & @KajiKita ever the voice of reason 🌹 the first friend is being slowly phased out. She wanted to meet every week almost and I had to say no. Quite firmly. (Why do I feel bad for that but I did do it and set a clear boundary). I've said to her I find the dogs stressful, I've had incidents with big dogs being aggressive before to me, my mother was badly attacked when I was young and my eldest was bitten badly too, and they scare me, her big scooby doo type one actually terrifies me every time it comes for me. I know it's just wanting to say hello but no thank you 🙈 she always insists on bringing them (little one is super cute). Even when she came to my house. I didn't let them in and she was quite rude about it. I'm allergic, I don't make these things up to pi55 you off no they can't come in. 😬
So our meetings have gone from every week, to every half term (6 weekly) to now every big holiday (every three months) but even this i find stressful as she is just so agitated over everything. I mean I can moan for Britain when I'm on one but I like to think I still have a sense of humour and don't take over the whole conversation & know when to move on 😬. So yep maybe I need to phase the next big holiday out completely and by then we will just be texting friends which always phases off. When she is in a good mood (rare) she's okay. But still not my tribe really, she laughs at things I believe in and I'm not entirely sure why she actually wants to be my friend 🤣😎. ??? Simply put, no she doesn't spark joy.

My second friend and I have known each other a few years and we do get one another, she's a good listener like I am and we don't drain one another. That's a good friendship I think, although we rarely see one another because of work. So I will continue contact with her for sure. The other will be phased out I think. Can't deal with the stress. My poor tum is in knots tonight! 

debtfreewannabe321

Oh and @KajiKita they had lots In the sale at Roman. I was there as they were moving bits over to sale racks so got first dibs! Hence why I came away with so much 🤣 they've usually run out of my size after new year! 

KajiKita

I’m glad you’ve made that decision. You deserve better than someone who laughs at things that matter to you. 

That Roman sale is sounding even more tempting!! 😂😂😂

KK

skint_spice

I have recently phased out a friend by matching her energy (or lack of) and I am fine with it and wish her no ill.  People change and we have known each other for over 40 years which in some ways makes it hard but really there’s no point flogging a dead horse.

Glad to say we don’t have a Roman shop near me so haven’t encouraged me to look but glad you found some bargains.

daisy_1571

Glad you made that decision, definitely put off the next big holiday potential meetup if it gets suggested 

Dxx

debtfreewannabe321

Morning all,

Why is it my body clock wakes me up at 7 am on a day off but on a work day I can sleep through three alarms 🚨 🤣.

@KajiKita as your MSE friend I will say, don't do it on the Roman sale. But as a friend who loves their clothes I'd say, omg do it quickly before they sell out woman! 🤣 Choose whichever message you need 😁.

@daisy_1571 I definitely will. Even DP kind of rolls eyes when I say I'm meeting her. She was the one who used to give me lifts to work before she left and oh wow I have never seen anyone who matches her level of road rage. Like ever. And my dad used to be bad, and I'm pretty bad for it sometimes too. She could start a fight with someone on an empty road where this no fight to be had. Mad. She's clearly stressed but I have to stop taking on these friends like I can fix them. I can't. 🙈

@skint_spice I will also match energy too and my sister has been phased out this year on contact because I stopped being the one to initiate every time. I got sick of it. Then lo and behold I've not seen her in an entire year. And heard from her just once when I messaged to say what have I done wrong?! I'd done nothing which was precisely what was wrong I was not chasing a relationship with her any more. And I've finally figured out after 46 years that even family relationships can be one sided and that's not okay either.

♥️

Watty1

Roman has shops?!  Did not know that - had never heard of them until a few weeks ago when I purchased a brand new with tags jacket at the local charity shop and the staff all said how lucky I was it fitted, jacket is lovely and was only £6

As for friends, great advice on here as ever.

debtfreewannabe321

@Watty1 I think they've quite a few stores I tend to go to an outlet place to get my bits 😁 I remember first finding them near where my mum used to live in Kent so I think they're all over the country (I know of a few around me in the Midlands). 

debtfreewannabe321

DS1 is on his way!! Eek I'm so excited 😁🙏🏻 just one DS missing over Christmas but I'm going to try and enjoy festivities with those who choose to be here. 

Christmas eve tradition in my house is new pjs, a Christmas movie, a take out for dinner, few drinks and a restful day. Usually prep veg in front of a film for tomorrow too, but nothing strenuous.
Filling stockings and getting big presents out when kids are in bed- this doesn't need to really happen any more it all gets put under the tree now. Although DD has requested her stocking on her bed still 🥰. So I'll do that.
My mum started this tradition being a stressed housewife with an ogre of a husband and three kids and I carried it on. She always gave us new PJ's so we looked smart in Christmas pics next morning ♥️ and she always got takeaway if possible so she had one day off from cooking. I like that idea so always stick with it 😉. I usually buy a new dvd too so we can have family time, but haven't done so this year so I may just see if there is something we want to buy or rent on prime later. 

DS is only staying for a couple of days so we'll try and make the most of it and perhaps get a nice walk in somewhere especially now that my foot is feeling slightly better (still have that pesky knee that like to dislocate though!)

Ooo and I forgot to share with anyone interested, I have been opening the H&B (Holland Barrett not Home Bargains 🤣) advent calendar all month and I've been blown away by what's in it! I've got full sized items of loads of bits and the money I paid is amazing! I will have enough products to last the whole year for sure and a lot of it is brands I already buy but new products to me in those brands so I've loved it. Organic, vegan and really nice stuff. Would definitely recommend to anyone who wants to try it next year!