Numpty question! Will girlfriend moving in with me lose her benefits?

seven-day-weekend

As I have said before on another thread, no-one has to stay over if it risks her losing her benefits. It is not compulsory.That is a choice which no-one has mentioned!

If she moves in with the OP, she will lose any means-tested benefits. Whether they are happy with that is something they will have to sort out as a couple.

duchy

rs2.0 wrote: »

A quick response d123 's post:


This post is NOT for a sympathy vote, I just get annoyed with people, including mates sometimes, who think that people who have a bit of money were brought up with silverspoons in their mouths.

RS

The other side of the coin is-if you are a genuine couple why on earth should every other taxpayer be subsidizing her rather than you supporting her. That isn't a personal slam -I'm just thinking how sad it is that there is so much talk about the decline of families yet current social attitudes and the benefits system actually make it financially easier for those making the choice NOT to be a proper family. It wasn't that long ago the tax system benefited couples who chose to marry and have children within the marriage with higher tax allowances -now it actually penalizes them. It's a mad world !

seven-day-weekend

Your mention of setting her up in an online business sounds good and then when the children are older she will be able to do more.

cyclonebri1

rs2.0 wrote: »

A quick response d123 's post:

From the information I have given, you cannot make the assumptions you have made.

I explained my budget in my previous post - I don't buy clothes every month or go out every month, just pointed out that they are a part of my £250 a month budget.

As for me being a "selfish rich kid", well let me explain: I was homeless at 16 (Parents lost their business in recession, father moved away, mother had a mental breakdown, we had nothing), I was sleeping in my car for a short period whilst earning £45 a week as an apprentice mechanic and £10 on a Sunday washing cars. I actually saved £5.00 a week towards buying a house! After 10 years of call centre work, often doing 7 days a week and 100+ hours overtime a month I had finally saved the deposit for the flat I now own.

So yes, 30k sounds great, but anyone can earn it if they, like me, are willing to work 58 hours a week.

As for wanting a cleaner/convenient woman in the house, you are quite wrong! If anything, it's her and her kids welfare I am thinking of, as well as obviously wanting to spend more time with her.

Remember, my initial question did not say "I want everything" it was simply asking what would happen financially if she moved in with me.

This post is NOT for a sympathy vote, I just get annoyed with people, including mates sometimes, who think that people who have a bit of money were brought up with silverspoons in their mouths.

RS

I'll give you 11/10 for restraint. I would have had a little more to say to d123. He/she fills in the blanks very presumptiously.:T

bestpud

OP - be careful if you are serious about keeping your own places and spending so many nights at each others! That is a potential issue for her while she is claiming benefits.

There are other threads on this if you want to have a look.

Essentially though, whatever people may tell you, there is no set amount of nights you can spend together and be ok - it depends on lots of factors.

Sorry if you already knew this or were not seriously considering it - I thought it best to point it out anyway!

bestpud

HugoSP wrote: »

I say, both of you keep your own places, get her to look for, put in for a council house - 2 young children will raise her score.

Then when she gets her council house, wait a few years until she can buy it cheap with the deposit you have saved, and service the mortgage.

You make that sound soooo easy I'm wondering if you meant it as a tongue in cheek comment?

I don't know where this lady lives but around here, she would have no chance whatsoever of getting a house as she would be classed as adequately housed already. 2 young children would make no odds at all as they are expected to share a bedroom until they are a lot older, even if they are boy/girl.

Plus a lot if social housing is now in the hands of housing associations and the tenants are not able to buy their house - ever!

MrsE_2

d123 wrote: »

I really find this strange, you want her to move in, but you wont support her? Do you want a partner / future wife or do you just want an unpaid cleaner?

You earn £2500 per month yet you cant give up "clothes and going out" to support someone I presume you must have feelings for?

You come over as extremely selfish, I would hope your girlfriend thinks long and hard before even considering giving up everything for a selfish rich-kid who it would appear just wants a convenient woman in the house.

If you want to have your girlfriend live with you, perhaps grow up a little and realise you cant have everything, cut back on going out, there is no need to buy clothes every month, budget a little better on your groceries and reconsider where you live if your mortgage really is such a massive percentage of your salary.

Even if you did, I think she should stay where she is, I doubt, with your attitude, that the relationship will be all that long if she did move in.......

Some of this is a little harsh, but I agree with the first bit.

If you love her you should want to share everything with her, & vice versa.

NAT.B_2

RS2, I have to add to this, I was in same postion as you I have one child..I am unable to work due to ill health( I have had part time jobs in between when ive been better) I was on benefits when I meet my husband we talked about moving in together, but due to cash flow we simply could NOT live together we just didnt have the money to be able to afford to live.

So last year we got married & he moved in with me & my child after we got married!!
Alot of people thought we were old fashioned .but it was simple we could not afford to live together. Now... Well to be honest its hard, house hold bills have gone up, my husband works self employed, supports his two other children from a previous releationship, supports my child and me.The good thing is that im off benefits, council tax has gone up as you get a single rate 25% dicount. Im doing a computer course at the moment to help me get back to work when im better.

Think carefuly, it seems all good and well you asking your girlfriend to move in with you, but have you thought what might happen if she might give up her flat if something bad was to happen like you to split up, I doubt very much they would re-house her as she had already given up her previous flat, Councils dont just hand out property to people, even thought she has two children! Can she not put in for a transfer to a nicer area? & take your time about thinking of living together? Sorry I dont know how long you have been together?

I dont want to put a dampner on things, im just being realistic some might agree with me some might not, being on benefit isnt great and most hate it & use it to get back on there feet but sometime there is not other choise for single mums like myself! Let us know how you get on good luck to you both! x

rs2.0

Hi,

Thanks again for all of you for your continued helpful replies.

She lives on the 10th floor of a block of flats in an area that is particularly bad. (Her block has even been featured on the news recently after a stabbing). I don't think she can put in for a transfer because her ex is still a joint tenant but is uncontactable and so the council wont move her without his consent.

I have come to the conclusion that I am going to do the following:

At present, stay living apart, but spend odd days at eachothers flats.

In the meantime, I will get the ball rolling with the online business for some extra income and make sure that it works.

In around 6 months, I will rent out my flat and move in with her. The rental income will cover most of my mortgage and mean that I can afford to support her and the online business income should be enough to pay her rent.

Eventually, I may then look to help her buy her council place, after which, she can rent that out and we would all move back to my flat.

Still needs a lot of thought and discussions, but seems the most workable idea at present.

RS

Loretta

rs2.0 wrote: »

Hi,

Thanks again for all of you for your continued helpful replies.

She lives on the 10th floor of a block of flats in an area that is particularly bad. (Her block has even been featured on the news recently after a stabbing). I don't think she can put in for a transfer because her ex is still a joint tenant but is uncontactable and so the council wont move her without his consent.

I have come to the conclusion that I am going to do the following:

At present, stay living apart, but spend odd days at eachothers flats.

In the meantime, I will get the ball rolling with the online business for some extra income and make sure that it works.

In around 6 months, I will rent out my flat and move in with her. The rental income will cover most of my mortgage and mean that I can afford to support her and the online business income should be enough to pay her rent.

Eventually, I may then look to help her buy her council place, after which, she can rent that out and we would all move back to my flat.

Still needs a lot of thought and discussions, but seems the most workable idea at present.

RS

I think that sounds like a good plan. I can understand that you have suddenly fallen in love and want everything to happen fast!!

I think help her start that business, even when the children start school it is difficult finding part time work that fits round it all and a homebased job would be good for quite some time. If you look on here somewhere there is a thread about people wanting 'real' homebased work and it is very difficult and if with your help and experience she could work like this it would be excellent.

You could both spend the next few months planning and working towards a permanant move together which will give you both time, maybe her expecially has a lot to think about.

Before i read your last post I was going to suggest that you let your flat and moved in with her. She would lose her benefits then but, I don't mean to sound horrible but if the worse came to the worse and it didn't work out she could go back on benefits and she would not lose her home which is so important

One step at a time and good luck to both of you