Numpty question! Will girlfriend moving in with me lose her benefits?

snails's_pace

this is just an observation, if she gives up her flat and lives with you, then something happens and you seperate...she and her children wont have her flat to go back to. so you both would need to think pretty hard and seriously about this before making a decision, esp as children are involved you have to think long-term.
not putting a dampner on it.
i wish u both luck and happiness whatever you decide to do.
snails x

getting-sorted-sarah

If it is at all possible she should think about claiming some support from the kids' father - the CSA do not pay support btw, they only pass on money from an absent partner.
People here have talked about your gf claiming child tax credits, that won't happen as you'll be a family on a relatively high income, as far as benefits are concerned (regardless of your outgoings, sorry) - so the £40 a month sounds much more like it.
You need to think hard about being a family - both of you. (All of you.)
Good luck!

d123

rs2.0 wrote: »

Hi,

I want to ask my girlfriend to move in with me!
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I am full time employed earning approx 30k. I have a huge mortgage and after household expenses and commuting costs etc I have around £250 a month to live on (Groceries, food, clothes going out
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If she moves in with me, she will give up her council flat etc and literally just come and live with me bringing her kids with her too.

Due to my above mentioned circumstances, I cannot afford to support her in any way whatsoever.

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RS

I really find this strange, you want her to move in, but you wont support her? Do you want a partner / future wife or do you just want an unpaid cleaner?

You earn £2500 per month yet you cant give up "clothes and going out" to support someone I presume you must have feelings for?

You come over as extremely selfish, I would hope your girlfriend thinks long and hard before even considering giving up everything for a selfish rich-kid who it would appear just wants a convenient woman in the house.

If you want to have your girlfriend live with you, perhaps grow up a little and realise you cant have everything, cut back on going out, there is no need to buy clothes every month, budget a little better on your groceries and reconsider where you live if your mortgage really is such a massive percentage of your salary.

Even if you did, I think she should stay where she is, I doubt, with your attitude, that the relationship will be all that long if she did move in.......

getting-sorted-sarah

The thing I love about MSE forum, is that no-one takes advantage of someone being naive just in order to be vicious and make them feel crap about themself.


OOOPS - spoke too soon.

jockettuk

my situation

was on benefits moved in with partner with my daughter he on 30 k i came off benefits as i should have, he loves me wants me to be with him so he will support us if i cant work.

we are a family who now dont need benefits

rs2.0

Hi,

Wow - I'm really impressed with the quality of replies and in particular the lack of abuse a newbie often gets on a 'new' forum! Most posts have given me something to think about.

In response to some of your comments:

I'm pretty good with money, but until recently worked for a bank which meant I got a preferential mortgage rate (4.4% fixed), but since changing employment I lost that rate and my mortgage is now over £1100 a month on a 2 bed flat. (The new employment has future prospects, hence being temporarily 'worse' off). I wouldn't entertain moving to a cheaper property to free up cash. It was hard enough to get on the property ladder in the first place.

Not sure if my post was misread or that I have more money than I realise but that £250 a month I live on includes food, clothes, going out, groceries etc. I would find it hard to reduce those costs further, though I understand there are probably people who survive on less.

I have discussed the situation with my girlfriend and she would love to give up her flat - it's in a rough area where she really doesn't feel safe and I don't feel safe visiting her. I wont even take/park my car there!

Her working in the evenings - at the moment a little awkward because I work shifts which change on a weekly basis. She's not workshy and wants to go back to work when both kids are at school. In the meantime, partly through not having anyone she can trust to look after the children and partly through choice of wanting to be with/nurture them, it's unlikely she will go out to work.

Her ex partner - nothing will ever come of that. He's gone for good. I don't think he's even in the UK anymore or likely to come back. He's never had a job anyway.

Based solely on what I have read here, I feel my options are to:
a) Leave her living in her flat and on benefits and spend a few days/nights a week at hers and she spend a few days/nights a week at mine. I understand (possibly incorrectly) that this would not affect her benefits/status.

b) Have her move in with me and set her up with a small online business that she can operate whilst at home with the kids that will bring in some income. At least this way she can earn 5k a year tax free. I mentioned this to her and she seemed quite keen. I have the contacts/suppliers etc to get something like this off the ground. This option would probably put a bit more pressure on me though as I would need to do the accounts/behind the scenes work on top of my existing job.


Thanks again for your replies.

RS

rs2.0

A quick response d123 's post:

From the information I have given, you cannot make the assumptions you have made.

I explained my budget in my previous post - I don't buy clothes every month or go out every month, just pointed out that they are a part of my £250 a month budget.

As for me being a "selfish rich kid", well let me explain: I was homeless at 16 (Parents lost their business in recession, father moved away, mother had a mental breakdown, we had nothing), I was sleeping in my car for a short period whilst earning £45 a week as an apprentice mechanic and £10 on a Sunday washing cars. I actually saved £5.00 a week towards buying a house! After 10 years of call centre work, often doing 7 days a week and 100+ hours overtime a month I had finally saved the deposit for the flat I now own.

So yes, 30k sounds great, but anyone can earn it if they, like me, are willing to work 58 hours a week.

As for wanting a cleaner/convenient woman in the house, you are quite wrong! If anything, it's her and her kids welfare I am thinking of, as well as obviously wanting to spend more time with her.

Remember, my initial question did not say "I want everything" it was simply asking what would happen financially if she moved in with me.

This post is NOT for a sympathy vote, I just get annoyed with people, including mates sometimes, who think that people who have a bit of money were brought up with silverspoons in their mouths.

RS

duchy

I think having a complete family move in will impact on that £250 more than you realise. Higher fuel bils (more baths/showers and a far busier washing machine and the flat been occupied all day) much higher food bills are two obvious examples not to mention losing the single person's discount on your council tax. Those three jumped out at me at once and I wondered which of you is expecting to fund those. I'd suggest sitting down and writing a realistic budget allowing for her loss of (benefit) income and your increased costs. With planning it might give you a realistic date to aim at-and she could always start your online business idea now rather than wait until she has actually moved so you can see if it would bring in enough income to make it a viable solution.

shelly

rs2.0 wrote: »

I just get annoyed with people, including mates sometimes, who think that people who have a bit of money were brought up with silverspoons in their mouths.

Hear hear!!

HugoSP

Family of 4 struggling to pay the mortgage, and live on £30k in a 2 bed flat.

Or, family of 4 living in 2 flats whilst 3 are receiving benefits, and can stay at each others' dwellings, £30k guy can then put some money away for the future and see his GF when he wants to.

She sounds like a lovely person and she would no doubt be flattered to be asked, but I do suspect that the honeymoon would be short lived when the total income is much reduced.

I say, both of you keep your own places, get her to look for, put in for a council house - 2 young children will raise her score.

In time she will find work based around her children - it gets easier when they are older.

Then when she gets her council house, wait a few years until she can buy it cheap with the deposit you have saved, and service the mortgage.

Then re assess the living together calcs.

You then have a choice:

1) stay as you are and 'live' apart, but by staying at each other's places you'll be seeing more of her and the kids than many families do, or

2) let your place out and move in with her then.