Calm not chaos

WelshmansDaughter

Although the advice on here is friendly and helpful, you do have to bear in mind that it is aimed primarily at typical people and the mindset that you set a goal and pursue it with single-minded devotion. Which works for typical people because they get a sense of reward from it. 
Divergent people generally prefer systems or patterns.
You need to figure out the way that works for you which will likely not have the same essentials as a typical person. 
There are multiple debt/money management strategies out there- my advice is to read and learn about personal finance and why it matters then develop your approach from there. 
I recommend the One Page Financial Plan as a good place to start.
Another tip (from Dave Ramsay) is to start by building a £1000 float (he calls it an emergency fund) so that you're not trapped in the cycle of waiting for payday. 

canvascamper

@WelshmansDaughter thank you for that. I have tried the single minded way before and it 100% did not work for me. I'll have a look at those resources you mentioned.

Had a no spend day today (well I spent £14 on parking but that was a work expense so I can claim it back). Was very proud of myself because I went out for a meeting at 10 and it took ages so I didn't get out until 2, and instead of going into somewhere for lunch and spenny coffee I just drove home and ate there. This is progress.

Also cancelled one of G11's acting classes because it's at a really annoying time and she wasn't loving it. 

Also sold 3 more bits on Vinted, hooray.

In not so great news, B13 decided to write a Christmas list today, after saying 'you know what I like' and obviously most of the things on it I've not bought him. Luckily his birthday is 6 weeks after Christmas so I can get some of the stuff on his list and put the other stuff away for his birthday. 

Had a SEND review at B13's school today and he seems to be doing pretty well. Mostly the social stuff that is hardest for him. Waiting for a call from the SEND team at G11's school because she is really struggling (they're at different schools). I know the schools are really stretched but it's so hard when it's your kid and they need support. I suspect we will end up getting her a private assessment soon.

B7's Nativity tomorrow. he's a narrator and I'm so proud. It will be the last ever nativity (they don't do them in the junior school) so I guarantee I will cry.

InDebtEnby

Hello from a fellow canvas camper. 

You have done well to recognise what works well for you and avoiding falling into the trap of doing everything all at once and not sticking to it. Making one change per month sounds like a good idea. 

One thing that helped me, since I also struggle with decision fatigue, was to make a meal plan for the week.
I used to go shopping with a list and always have the same things available to make meals but this meant that I would waste a lot of the fresh food because I didn't use it on time.
Now I make a meal plan, look at what I have in the cupboards and freezer and then shop for that week only. Doing a big monthly shop doesn't work for me, but I didn't realise that until I had no car and had to walk to the supermarket.
I'm in a bit of a different situation as I live on my own so I cook 1 meal and freeze 3-4 portions so there is almost always a meal available, but I don't have a microwave so I still have to plan ahead.
It really has made a difference to what I eat as there are more homemade meals and I'm not just turning to chips and something because I can't be bothered, and I now look forward to what's for dinner throughout the week.

BadBookkeeper

Have a look into setting up a burner current account and switch it when offers come up.  Be mindful of how it might affect your credit score if you’re looking to get more credit in the future.  I tend to do 1 every 6 months. Free money! 

Read the debt free roll of honour thread for how others did it too I got lots of tips from there and the belief it’s achievable.  Good luck! 

canvascamper

@InDebtEnby thank you for your comment 🥰 I do have a meal plan, it's an 8 week rolling plan which works just about right so we don't get bored but I don't have to overthink it.

Food is really tricky in our house, B13 has quite restricted eating as part of his ASD and he's severely allergic to dairy, G11 is quite good but hates vegetables, B7 is pescatarian and dairy allergic, DH and I are both vegan and DH has nut allergies....

So there are a handful of things that everyone will eat but we do often end up making 2 or more variations of a meal which can be more expensive. 

@BadBookkeeper thanks I will have a look - it sounds like something I might forget or mess up the direct debits from one account to another🫠

WelshmansDaughter

I also recommend the lazy genius way