Calm not chaos

canvascamper

I am very grateful for you lovely people in my phone for your advice and support. Will come back to you all with thoughts/answers/explanations.

In quite a lot of endo pain tonight. Also feeling some guilt and shame and confusion after posting the SOA. trying not to run and hide (metaphorically).

Today was payday. Bought some Christmas gifts for the kids in black Friday sales. Feeling unprepared! 

Scott_Weiland79

making you run and hide. 
I am sorry that you feel that way.

Trust me we all have being there. Long post coming here but I wanna help.



When you do a budget with say Stepchange if hypothetically you went on a debt management plan or iva they would break the budget down re your outgoings into two

Essentials

rent/mortgage, utility bills, transport costs, food, clothing, petrol, etc

Then

None Essential Spending 

nights out over a set amount
saving for xmas
saving for hols
tv packages
music streaming services
vaping/smoking
expensive mobile phone package
sky sports etc
expensive broadband
gym
kids clubs 


A cleaner falls into this category sadly too, if you had gone to stepchange with 19grand in debts they would of said 

"The expectation is that you manage household tasks yourself to free up as much money as
possible to repay your debts."

(quoted from there website)


I used to be with Stepchange in the past, i know how they work and to make a dent in your debts to a degree you have to be harsh with yourself.

I can remember with me every time i did a budget review they were on my neck re mobile phones. I was paying 100-125pm for mobile phones from memory but it was for 4 phones. One was my mums (in her 70's) and she would every other month give me the money. One was mine, one was my partners same again she would give me the cash, the other was my sons.

I changed gyms to a puregym which i hated but it saved me 9quid pm.

I used the free Spotify.

I used to be a smoker and cut down and went to vapes which saved me 120 quid

I rang every provider ie broadband/home insurance/energy providers etc to get cheaper deals.

I used to cycle home from the gym rather busing it saved me 4 quid bus fare

I bulk bought pet food from Arden Grange direct to save money or bulk bought it on ebay/amazon

I declutterred did surveys etc


@the moment i think i read your debts are 19800-19850 ish, if you pay 565 pm thats nearly 3 years to clear it ish.

I say ish as thats not factoring in interest as i used to have a Monzo Flex/Pay credit account and they were 25-30 percent apr from memory. I dont know your virgin apr.

If you could free up another 200-350 that makes a heck of a difference 

765 pm off debts is 26 months ish 
865 is 23 months ish
915 is 21 months

Its down to yourself here but would you rather be debt free in 3-3.5 year or the dates above.

Now I have a few ideas I think getting an extra 200-300 is doable

So my ideas take these onboard if you wish but trust me all are obtainable.



Pet food 60 re your cats, could you buy it online, would they eat a different food, do you have a friend with a cost co card that could bulk buy it for you cheaper. I used to run and race 6 huskies for 60-70pm so its do able.

(Saving 10-15)

Pet Insurance could you go on a price comparison site same cover for maybe less? 

(10quid-15quid saving)

Lotto bin it, be a millionaire when debt free lol (16quid)

Life cover and crit illness 165, my advice re this look at the level of cover you have, then get on a price comparison site and get quotes easy potentially (20-30 saved.)

tv and sports 78

This one you have two options, i would do option b. Myself i like football and F1, we used to have bt and there sports package and from memory were paying 86quid per month.

a) I rang bt and had a moan said we had being approached by Sky etc etc they offered to knock a fiver off. I declined this and cancelled the sport kept our broadband the same and took on a Now Tv monthly sports pass 29quid. Kept our bb the, so we now pay BT 30/Now TV 30

Nothing stopping you doing the same (saving 20 potentially)

Cleaner 154 i get you want to keep this, i do get it my o/h is a messy !!!!!! and we have a 3 month daughter. I know you have kids i am not saying bin it. Just shop around re quotes if you could save even (30-35 quid it would be a result)

Disney saving 3 quid already 😀

The next thing is a biggy and this is where you can make the biggest dent these two.

Food - £506
Eating out - £400

906 on these 🙄, we are different circumstances to you but me and my other half spend maybe 150-175 on food pm. I get you have children but as already said budgeting re food/ batch cooking/using a cheaper supermarket/ discounters re cleaning products etc

I think the food you could easily drop to 400-425
and going out 300.

milkman 64, try amazon, other get with food shopping
saving 20-25 potentially 


20/100/75/3/30/20/20/16/10/10

300 saved approx

I know this can be overwhelming, but trust me light is at the end of tunnel and imagine how brilliant you will feel when your sticking 400-500 in a savings for a new car, or holiday, or bigger house etc etc rather than off debt.

Try even 1-2 things i suggested a week i bet huge savings can be made.

And try that credit card faster calculator i sent you the link of.

canvascamper

@Scott_Weiland79 thank you so much for taking the time to write all that out.

Lots to think about. 

This is where I need to be honest and acknowledge that 'old' me would have dived in head first and tried to change everything at once. I would have bought a new notebook to write everything down in  and probably saved a load of money in 1 month, and then got totally overwhelmed and given up and been worse than ever before.

So 'new' me is going to remember these things -

1 - This is going to take time. I have time. I have enough money to pay all my bills and keep my house and feed my kids. I don't need to panic

2 - It's December and I have 3 children and this is not going to be a cheap month. I can make it less expensive, but it won't be cheap.

3 - If I change 1 thing at a time and make it a habit, I will be more likely to stick to it.

So my plan is to get through December being mindful and more careful than I would ordinarily have been, and then in January tackle 1 issue per month so that I don't get totally overwhelmed.

I need to use this space to be honest, otherwise what is the point, and part of that is noting that I have some big things to pay for soon, including my son's new bike (he's now in adult sizes and rides it every day, so it needs to be decent to last him a long time), my other son needs a bed (he sleeps on a frame on the floor at the moment, for various reasons), new floors in 2 bedrooms. So these will be on 0% credit and there's no point me pretending otherwise.

But I am very determined to get to grips with all of this. It's going to take time. I'll be paying this debt off, eventually.

In positive news, I sold 7 things on vinted today, and I've got £130 vinted credit from other sales to use to pay off some Monzo Flex.

Went to watch my 2 youngest in their music school performance today. I was so proud of them

Scott_Weiland79

Get Santy out the way then baby steps 1 thing at a time.

Trust me if i can do this anyone can, at one point i had similiar to you re the debt level 17 thousand ish but i had about 15-20 creditors.

Brilliant re the vinted sales, which ever card isnt on a zero percent whack the vinted money on whatever card has the highest APR.

canvascamper

Happy Sunday Chaos lovers!
Busy day today!
Got up early to help a friend set up at the local indoor car boot sale. There was a vegan cake stall so I got some cakes to have with tea £16.
Top up shop for tea, packed lunches and fruit £35.
Took G11 to see Wicked, tickets were already paid for. She bought a new Christmas jumper from Tesco with her pocket money, and a fidget toy. I got a Christmas colouring book for one of our advent activities £4.
Went to Starbucks for drinks £8.
Popcorn and sweets £3.50
Tram £2.80
B7 went out for the day with a friend, which was lovely for him. They also went to the cinema so I offered to pay for his ticket. Was kind of hoping they would say don't worry about it, given that they invited him, but no, they asked for £15 🫠

Also bought MrCC's Christmas present, new fleece lined warm coat. I found a 10% off code so it was £80. 

Got all the Xmas stuff out of the garage. I was very sensible last year and got a new tree and lights in the January half price sale after our 30 year old pre lit tree finally gave up. Of course, I put all the lovely new lights of the lovely new tree, and the lights immediately made a funny noise and stopped working. Great. Will try and take them back tomorrow and exchange them. I don't have a receipt so I hope it's not a problem. 

Normally the kids are slow and irritable on a Monday morning (especially G11 who doesn't like school) but I've got the advent calendars out ready (they each have a cardboard Roger La Borde one that builds a scene over the month). B7 also has a Lego one from my mum a few years back and we've kept all the bits so he can redo it every year. So hopefully they will happily bounce out of bed!

Advent activity tomorrow is decorating the tree...hopefully avec lights! 

canvascamper

Got the faulty Christmas lights replaced, the lady in the garden centre wavered a bit because I bought them in January and didn't have a receipt, I was about to start quoting the consumer rights act but thankfully she saw sense!

So the tree is up and looks suitably chaotic 😅. Tomorrow I'll do the outside lights. We don't decorate anywhere else in the house as it's too overwhelming for B13. He was really agitated this evening with the tree going up but he gets used to it after a day or so.

Tomorrow's advent activity is to read a Christmas book - got the selection out of the box. 

Was a low spend day today, only £30 on diesel (plus planned bills) 

Have nearly finished my November spending spreadsheet so will look at spending patterns and see where the most recent issues are. 

canvascamper

November analysis done;

Income - £6986 (this includes an unusual extra £1400 from some freelance work I did in September including a lot of travel expenses, plus £250 income from Vinted)
Expenditure - £6525

Bills - £2520
Debt repayments - £1045.90

Biggest expenses -
£1250 on builders and plasterer for my son's bedroom
£396 on food
£220 on eating out
£171 on kids clothing (3 lots of new shoes, a new blazer, a coat)
£151 on 'stuff' for the kids (toys/craft stuff/pokemon cards etc)
£105 on days out (£75 of this is tickets to a Christmas event in December)

So stayed within my income but spent a lot this month as well. Nothing really left to save at the end of the month, as usual.

Pleased I managed to pay off a chunk of debt too.

canvascamper

Today's advent activity is Christmas playdoh and the front room is currently a beautiful scene of all 3 children quietly kneading and modelling and it smells of peppermint and chocolate. Even the 13 year old is loving it. Whilst it lasts, it's wonderful (I give it 10 minutes...)

Yesterday went Christmas shopping and spent a reasonable amount - I've not added it up yet. The cost of pyjamas is wild. 

No spend day today, hoorah! But we have just got the quote in for the new bedroom floors (much needed, the carpet is so revolting and threadbare and over 20 years old, not exaggerating) and that's coming in at £2.5k which I suppose for 3 bedrooms isn't crazy but it's a chunky figure. Thankfully it's on interest free credit over 20 months. 

Not had a mince pie yet, which is outrageous. 

canvascamper

Had a mince pie today! It's officially festive.

Did a bit of Christmas shopping at lunch, over the weekend I need to look at it all together and see what is still needed. The shops were insane, it took me ages just to get across the street back to my office. Blimmin' Xmas markets. 

Had a call from G11's school this morning to say she only had £1 left on her dinner money account. I put £20 a week on it, but sometimes by Friday she's very low on funds. I try and get her to take snacks, but to be honest she dislikes school so much that just getting her out of the house in the morning is a triumph of masterful patience and I think trying to organise food as well would tip her over the edge.

Today's advent activity was to watch the Goes Wrong Show nativity on iPlayer. Every year it has me crying with laughter, honestly if you've not seen it I highly recommend. The kids love it and the adults love it.

Bring on the weekend! G11 has a script to learn for an audition so that will need some support. Need to do a big food shop, and want to try and list some more toys on vinted.

Scott_Weiland79

Re big food shop i dont know if its available in your area Ocado have a 25 percent off thing running. Plus 3 months free deliveries