Money Moral Dilemma: Should I give my nephew £10,000 now even though he'll likely fritter it away?

keencyclist

I think the answer to this one is pretty clear. You’ve given your niece 10k for a deposit on a property. Tell the nephew he can also have £10k for a deposit on a property and give it to him when he is actually buying somewhere. 

If you die before he buys somewhere, leave the 10k to him in your will. You won’t know / care if he fritters it away. 

If he buys somewhere but you die within 7 years and IhT is due on the gift then either a) don’t worry about it as he’s done something worthwhile with the money, or b) write your will such that the IHT due comes out of his inheritance. 

gothvixen

The idea of imposing conditions like no tattoos or piercings horrifies me. Inhibiting who someone truly is causes terrible psychological damage, that lasts far longer than you could know. Nobody has the right to do that to anyone. Trust me, I know about this. I've added 15 ear piercings (to my original 8), 2 nose and a tattoo (so far) since my Mother died. Regarding this nephew, could you open an account for him that he can't access for a fixed period of time? He might be more inclined to make sensible plans in that case, and can't object seeing as the niece got hers for her home.

Nomadvagabond

MSE is all about spending and saving money wisely.  If he would fritter title away, it would be a waste of someone’s hard earned money.  Is it possible to get him to open a pension fund and put it in there. That way, by the time he can draw on it, he would hopefully have grown up and will appreciate the gift!

kimwp

Sueh_2 said:

When my Grandchildren were born, I took out a Baby Bond for each of them which would mature on their 18th Birthday. They all grew up knowing - no tattoos or piercings, but everything else was up to them. You just have to trust them not to waste it. So far none of them have. One put it towards a house deposit, one towards a car and one for a trip to Australia to go travelling. The last one gets theirs in a couple of weeks 🙂

That's interesting, so if they got tattoos or piercings, they didn't get the money? How could you prevent them getting the money?

ROGGER

Don't listen to the parents. They could be narcissists.   It's not their money.  And his sister could have frittered it away too (yes, I know she didn't, but that's not the point).

RSD7a

If it's a true gift you have to let go. Hand over the money joyfully and get on with living your own life.

LokiX97

The nephew is a wastrel. Give him n’owt. The fact that he is bloodline is 100% irrelevant. Difficult though it might be, spend it on yourself. If any family members take umbrage that’s just tough. Your money, your decision and nobody else's business.

strawb_shortcake

gothvixen said:

The idea of imposing conditions like no tattoos or piercings horrifies me. Inhibiting who someone truly is causes terrible psychological damage, that lasts far longer than you could know. Nobody has the right to do that to anyone. Trust me, I know about this. I've added 15 ear piercings (to my original 8), 2 nose and a tattoo (so far) since my Mother died. Regarding this nephew, could you open an account for him that he can't access for a fixed period of time? He might be more inclined to make sensible plans in that case, and can't object seeing as the niece got hers for her home.

@gothvixen We paid for a tattoo for my Daughter's 18th birthday, she'd talked about having tattoos from 3 years old. In helping her we made sure she went to an excellent reputable tattooist. She picked a well thought out meaningful tattoo. She plans more as well as adding a few more piercings. 

For the OP, if your sole intent is to reduce the IHT, then does it really matter what he does with it? If it's to give him a step up then speak with him and tell him what you'd like to do, if he's not ready to buy then perhaps he'd agree to open a LISA for when he is ready

Jm2207

If you want to give him money and he "wastes" it on restaurants, that's just your opinion. What people spend money on is up to them. He could buy a house and it could lose value.
 Experiences over material goods is fine in my books. It's not unsavoury, it's not harming anyone , it's not illegal. You either want him to enjoy this gift or not

egarobar

I agree with others here - put it in a savings account or pension fund which he can't fritter away. He will be glad of it when the time comes. If he lives that long...