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Money Moral Dilemma: Should I give my nephew £10,000 now even though he'll likely fritter it away?

MSE_Kelvin
MSE_Kelvin Posts: 420 MSE Staff
Eighth Anniversary 10 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

Following a small inheritance I received four years ago, I gave my niece £10,000 towards a house deposit. I want to do the same for my nephew, her brother, but his life's very different. Although he's 29 he's not saving for anything in particular, and his parents say any money that comes his way quickly disappears on expensive restaurants. But I'm not keen on delaying giving it to him indefinitely as I'm getting older and Inheritance Tax could become an issue.
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Comments

  • Brie
    Brie Posts: 15,779 Ambassador
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    Tell him to open a LISA and drop it in there.
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  • Ms_Chocaholic
    Ms_Chocaholic Posts: 12,855 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    If IHT is becoming an issue and you are getting older you need to start spending your money
    In terms of the £10k to your nephew, does £10k make you go over the IHT threshold
    Thrifty Till 50 Then Spend Till the End
    You can please some of the people some of the time, all of the people some of the time, some of the people all of the time but you can never please all of the people all of the time
  • Sea_Shell
    Sea_Shell Posts: 10,104 Forumite
    Tenth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    Give another £10k to your niece 😉

    If IHT is the main driver of the gifts, rather than fairness.

    Are they ultimately your beneficiaries?  You could bequest him a larger percentage to "compensate".
    How's it going, AKA, Nutwatch? - 12 month spends to date = 2.60% of current retirement "pot" (as at end May 2025)
  • elsien
    elsien Posts: 36,692 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    Presuming there would be enough left in the estate at that point to be able to gift? 
    All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

    Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.
  • Baldytyke88
    Baldytyke88 Posts: 692 Forumite
    500 Posts First Anniversary Name Dropper
    Where is he living, could you put it in LISA or a SIPP for him. Then it sounds like you may have lots more money to give away, do that.
  • CapeTown
    CapeTown Posts: 158 Forumite
    Fifth Anniversary 100 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    You don't have to give him anything. My son is a bit of a spender.  I have put money in a premium bond account for him. He cannot touch it until he buys a house
  • Sueh_2
    Sueh_2 Posts: 3 Newbie
    Part of the Furniture First Post Combo Breaker
    When my Grandchildren were born, I took out a Baby Bond for each of them which would mature on their 18th Birthday. They all grew up knowing - no tattoos or piercings, but everything else was up to them. You just have to trust them not to waste it. So far none of them have. One put it towards a house deposit, one towards a car and one for a trip to Australia to go travelling. The last one gets theirs in a couple of weeks 🙂
  • Andrea9876
    Andrea9876 Posts: 12 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10 Posts Combo Breaker
    Can you speak to a financial advisor about putting it into a trust conditional on it being for a house deposit 
  • mimgable
    mimgable Posts: 15 Forumite
    Third Anniversary 10 Posts
    If you don’t want the money used on general fun stuff, just keep it till he wants to buy a house and contribute to deposit/cost of it. Say it’s same deal as niece…use for house deposit as and when the time comes. Or other concrete item, as it seems you want a concrete thing for it to be used for. 

    Loosing some in inheritance tax if it’s held back is maybe better than it getting given the pockets of restaurant owners?? (Given you seem to want something concrete for it to be used on)
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