Single 40 something options

Chief_of_Staffy

You bought a house but you don't want to live in it. You're in debt as a result of it yet you don't have a mortgage. You want to sell it but you don't want to live with your parents, and they don't want you to live in a shared house, so you're not going to do that either. You can't afford to rent yet you want to live in a hotel.

Maybe I'm the only one who doesn't believe a word of this.

Albermarle

Chief_of_Staffy said:

You bought a house but you don't want to live in it. You're in debt as a result of it yet you don't have a mortgage. You want to sell it but you don't want to live with your parents, and they don't want you to live in a shared house, so you're not going to do that either. You can't afford to rent yet you want to live in a hotel.

Maybe I'm the only one who doesn't believe a word of this.

Not the only one…

_Penny_Dreadful

Chief_of_Staffy said:

You bought a house but you don't want to live in it. You're in debt as a result of it yet you don't have a mortgage. You want to sell it but you don't want to live with your parents, and they don't want you to live in a shared house, so you're not going to do that either. You can't afford to rent yet you want to live in a hotel.

Maybe I'm the only one who doesn't believe a word of this.

Apparently @olb81 took out a £25k loan, not a mortgage, and borrowed money from family. The monthly payments could be quite high but with a £230,000 property it should be straightforward to get a mortgage to repay the loan and family. I’m sure there will be some excuse as to why that’s not possible either. 

I wonder how the parents feel about having a 40 year old still living with them. 

EssexHebridean

Allowing that the OP has already been clear in threads that several of you are obviously familiar with that they are struggling with their mental healthy / anxiety at the moment, perhaps we could keep the responses to a measured tone and try to avoid descending into personal insult? This is probably one of those threads to simply walk away from if you think it’s untrue. 

OP - by far your best way forwards is to work out how to make peace with the house purchase. I appreciate that the debt is freaking you out, but that is possibly partly because it’s not structured as well as it could be - ie a small mortgage may work out far more manageable than the loans you currently have.  My suggestion would be that you follow the link in my signature as a first port of call, and complete the Statement of Affairs you will find there. That may well help you to work out if you can actually afford to keep the house or whether you do in fact need to sell. If you find that the finances are too tight at that stage then go to the debt free wannabe board and start a thread there with a summary description of your situation and they will be able to advise you on various economies you may have missed that might ease things. 

HedgehogRulez

Find a partner and move in with them.

vic_sf49

I think you need to have some serious soul searching, about what is making you unhappy with the house, and write pros and cons for every option.

And be honest with yourself, as to what will / should make you happy and settled, vs what makes the general population happy, or what might be the norm. 

As one example, you might find a house share or lodging is what you need, if you want more of a connection to people. For me, I don't want to deal with other people, so those would be my worst options. 

olb81

Thanks for replies.
One kinda related thing is I've stopped driving, I quite like the social side of buses and trains. The random conversations and listening to others.
I used to get lonely driving.
I'm diagnosed with ocd anxiety and add.
My job is OK for 3 months but never know what will happen in the new year. I was off work nearly a year with burnout.
I've had an offer on the house but it's nearly 10k less than what I paid.
I could buy something 30-50k less and still be fine for me with no debt.
Would be nice to get a partner and move in but I find that quite scary, my anxiety jumps in.

EssexHebridean

OK - so overall, what ARE the issues with the house. You've had suggestions on how to tackle the financial side of things - have you looked into that at all? 

Remember that you won't just be losing £10k on the house if you sell now - you'll have to pay again for the legal fees, possibly stamp duty (and you've used your FTB status now of course) and maybe removal costs, as well as the agent fee on the sale. You need to add up all the costs, AND take account of the need to pay back the loans you've taken, to give yourself a true picture of what you will have to spend on somewhere new.  Also - you currently have a house (freehold, I assume)  - but are looking at a flat, correct? You probably need to give consideration to how being in a leasehold property could affect your anxiety - I found it very stressful indeed.