Mediator

Cobbler_tone

elsien said:

Also to add that his solicitor basically writes what your ex tells them to. Yes, that could potentially be a long-term repercussion but basically it is your exes instruction.
Do you have your own solicitor?

It is usually the other way around. A solicitor will advise what needs to be written, normally to generate a bit of back and forth. Many solicitors will also tell both parties what they want to hear, or fill them with ideas of what they 'could' get. They can also be very accommodating and caring....at £19 for a one liner on email, or £5 a minute on the phone.

Anyway, something doesn't sound right. The idea of mediation is to seek some common ground and a shared understanding of agreement (the clue is in the name), before presenting to your solicitors to process things accordingly. You will no doubt have to clarify some finer points between your legal representatives.
If all of your negotiation is done using solicitors it will be pretty expensive. If it is done in court it will be VERY expensive.
When it goes to the Decree Absolute, if there is a significant imbalance in the settlement, a judge could well reject it first time around.
There are ways to hide things, people do it all the time but you don't want to get caught.

I'd personally get on board with the mediator. See what they are like, i.e. there should be balance there. Many mediators are ex-solicitors or senior HR people. It is your cheapest (and hopefully most productive) route to forging a settlement.