Neighbour issue - But not the usual sort!

kimwp

The thing about being neighbours is a little like being desk neighbours at work. You are in close proximity, so you may end up hearing or noticing things that you wouldn't if you sat a little further away or your neighbours curtains weren't in your eyeliner. So just as you would pretend not to know that your coworker has a doctor's appointment, you also have to pretend that you don't know what they get up to in the privacy of their home. Like you, I would worry about anything unusual, but if they'd indicated several times that they did not want me checking on them, I'd be giving them space. Plenty of lonely elderly people who'd love someone to pop in to have some tea and cake, best to spend your time than on someone who wants you around than someone who doesn't.

onomatopoeia99

swingaloo said:

On a purely personal side, I don't think its wrong to be concerned for someone's welfare.

It isn't, but it is wrong to keep bothering someone that has unequivocally stated they wish to be left alone. What one perons may see as neighbourly concern another may see as unwelcome interference and once they have told you it's the latter it's time to leave it alone, respect their prviacy and right to live their life as they wish.

Basically people should always take a single "no" for an answer from an adult or a minor capable of making a rational reply and immediately cease any further imprecation on the subject, no matter what it is.

swingaloo

onomatopoeia99 said:

swingaloo said:

On a purely personal side, I don't think its wrong to be concerned for someone's welfare.

It isn't, but it is wrong to keep bothering someone that has unequivocally stated they wish to be left alone. What one perons may see as neighbourly concern another may see as unwelcome interference and once they have told you it's the latter it's time to leave it alone, respect their prviacy and right to live their life as they wish.

Basically people should always take a single "no" for an answer from an adult or a minor capable of making a rational reply and immediately cease any further imprecation on the subject, no matter what it is.

I think if you read the thread properly you will see that I have not 'kept bothering him'. I do accept that he wants to be left alone so unsure what point you are making.

Skiddaw1

I think @swingaloo is exactly the sort of kind and caring neighbour everyone needs. She (?) has made it quite clear that she's not been bothering the neighbour and respects his privacy. If I was in her position I'd feel every bit as concerned for his future wellbeing.

I don't think there's an easy solution other than keeping a discreet eye on the situation and intervening if there really does appears to be a problem. Just because he's made it clear that he prefers to be left to himself it doesn't necessarily follow that he'd not be glad of assistance should an emergency arise. 

GDB2222

swingaloo said:

onomatopoeia99 said:

swingaloo said:

On a purely personal side, I don't think its wrong to be concerned for someone's welfare.

It isn't, but it is wrong to keep bothering someone that has unequivocally stated they wish to be left alone. What one perons may see as neighbourly concern another may see as unwelcome interference and once they have told you it's the latter it's time to leave it alone, respect their prviacy and right to live their life as they wish.

Basically people should always take a single "no" for an answer from an adult or a minor capable of making a rational reply and immediately cease any further imprecation on the subject, no matter what it is.

I think if you read the thread properly you will see that I have not 'kept bothering him'. I do accept that he wants to be left alone so unsure what point you are making.

I'm not sure that comment was particularly aimed at you. It maybe was just a comment.

Cobbler_tone

I seem to unwittingly developed chatty moments with my neighbours, probably since getting a dog. I usually have very little to do with neighbours, who can over share or be nosy, asking how much your landscaping or new kitchen/bathroom cost.
One knocked on the door the other night to tell me that an Amazon parcel had been doorstepped. That is the level of interaction I welcome.
I did enjoy the shopping trips via the app for the vulnerable during the pandemic. Helped people out whilst being self gratifying. Some of their shopping lists used to make me chuckle....'whippy whips' was in fact Angel Delight for one regular. So I am the type who helps if asked but wouldn't go looking for it. 

EnPointe

swingaloo said:

subjecttocontract said:

He has made it very clear he doesn't want to see you so learn to mind your own business. When he passes everything will get cleared.

Thanks for the comment but that's exactly what is wrong with society these days.  I'm not butting into his business, I'm concerned that he may be taken poorly and no one will know or that he may need help at some point.

You read about elderly people being found in their homes after being dead for weeks and no-one cared enough to miss them.
Perhaps you are that sort of neighbour, I prefer to be more thoughtful.

Environmental health  and /or the Local Fire and Rescue service may be worth speaking to as the chap in question may be more responsive ot them  enquiring aobut  pest prevention  and fire prevention that  Social Services  'prying'  

the Fire Service have got  quite into  the  prevention / managemnt of Hoarding behaviours  as it is a fire risk and secondly they  often end up attending  to assist Police  and/or Ambulance  should there be a concern for welfare - the point where the NHS  now use training resources developed by FRS to  teach  the topic to Ambulance staff and community staff.