Is it fair to leave my house and money only to my granddaughter as my son has fallen out with me.

Brie

Do also consider what you want to happen to your estate if you become incapacitated and your GD unfortunately dies before you.  Maybe add a line about it going to her children, if and when she has some.   

You wouldn't be able to change your will if you no longer have capacity but may think at that point that your son might have something.  Or that you want it all to go to a local cat rescue instead.

I'd suggest GD (if of age) could be executor with someone else as back up.  She could of course decide that getting everything and nothing for her dad is not fair and do a variation of deed but that would be her decision at that time.  And it if is her decision hopefully it's not something that would bother you as you trust her judgement. 

Dawn_flower

I really appreciate all your comments and advice as it’s made me think further after my death and the relationship between my son and his daughter.  Their relationship has never been good but then he tends to fall out with a lot of other people also.  My granddaughter is in her 30s and is very thoughtful and kind person.  She doesn’t have a house or money to spare.  Your comments have made me think about now and the future.  I am going to give my granddaughter enough money for a deposit on a house now with extra to furnish it. As everyone said it’s my money and my choice and to see her settle while I am alive will give me great pleasure now.  The rest I will divide maybe 70/30 or 60/40  but I am unsure about my house.  Can I leave instructions to sell the house and divide the proceeds in my will or will I have to leave the whole house to one person.  

poseidon1

Dawn_flower said:

I really appreciate all your comments and advice as it’s made me think further after my death and the relationship between my son and his daughter.  Their relationship has never been good but then he tends to fall out with a lot of other people also.  My granddaughter is in her 30s and is very thoughtful and kind person.  She doesn’t have a house or money to spare.  Your comments have made me think about now and the future.  I am going to give my granddaughter enough money for a deposit on a house now with extra to furnish it. As everyone said it’s my money and my choice and to see her settle while I am alive will give me great pleasure now.  The rest I will divide maybe 70/30 or 60/40  but I am unsure about my house.  Can I leave instructions to sell the house and divide the proceeds in my will or will I have to leave the whole house to one person.  

Simply leave your house on a 'trust for sale', in favour of whomever you want cash to be divided.

This then invokes an overriding  legal imperative for the house to be sold, although the beneficiaries can still ( amicably) decide between themselves whether to retain it jointly or one or other buy out the  other's share.

RAS

That's a lovely idea but do ask your grand daughter to check what amount she could get on a mortgage and that repayments are less than one third of net income. 

That'll dictate what she can buy and where. She's an age where she might be settled. She might also need to move for work etc. So talk through whether she's likely to be settled for the next 5 years?

Regarding the house, you ask the solicitor  to include an instruction that the house is sold, and you make your grand daughter the executor.

GrubbyGirl_2

I don't have any children but have 2 brothers who are both older than me.  One of them I haven't spoken to or heard from for 10 years since the day of our mother's funeral.  I hardly spoke to him for 30 years before that.  The other brother I speak to all the time.  Both brothers live between 200 and 400 miles away.

I have no qualms about not leaving anything to the one I don't speak to.  The other brother doesn't need any money, neither do his children as they have all done very well for themselves.  His grandchildren are 10 and 11.  I have left them a good chunk of money in Trust which should not be released until they are 21.  The rest (more than half of my estate) I have left to my best friend who I have known for 15 years and is such a brilliant kind person who would bend over backwards to do anything for me.  He doesn't have a clue that he is the main beneficiary.  He's the one who deserves the money.  He works hard and doesn't earn much but as I said would give his last penny to me if I needed it.  If he goes before me his share goes to charity.

It's your money, you earned it, it's entirely up to you who gets it.  Hopefully your brother would be happy for his daughter anyway.

Misha96

I agree with everything previous users have advised you. Leave your assets to your lovely granddaughter.

Unfortunately, there are  a lot of people who assume the only way to make a fair will is to leave assets to their children in equal proportion and many adults take it for granted they will inherit. But it's not their money.

If  you mention your son in your will, as opposed to a letter of wishes, you could describe him as "estranged".

Savvy_Sue

GrubbyGirl_2 said:

I have no qualms about not leaving anything to the one I don't speak to.  The other brother doesn't need any money, neither do his children as they have all done very well for themselves.  His grandchildren are 10 and 11.  I have left them a good chunk of money in Trust which should not be released until they are 21.  The rest (more than half of my estate) I have left to my best friend who I have known for 15 years and is such a brilliant kind person who would bend over backwards to do anything for me.  He doesn't have a clue that he is the main beneficiary.  He's the one who deserves the money.  He works hard and doesn't earn much but as I said would give his last penny to me if I needed it.  If he does before me his share goes to charity.

It's your money, you earned it, it's entirely up to you who gets it.  Hopefully your brother would be happy for his daughter anyway.

Absolutely agree with your last paragraph, and with advice above suggesting the OP pre-informs her son - somehow - that he isn't going to inherit substantially. I wouldn't want his daughter facing a strong reaction from him if he only finds out after the OP's death.  

But I'm also just going to comment on @GrubbyGirl_2's  'trust' plans for grandchildren. I'm sure you'll have take proper advice on this, but you should be aware that if the money has been left via the most straightforward (and inexpensive) form of trust, it's likely that your DGC could ask for and have the money at the age of 18, notwithstanding your wishes. 

And if it is tied up in the kind of trust which definitely can't be accessed until they are 21, be aware that these are not as easy to manage, may incur expenses while they are being managed, and need proper handling while the DGC are 'under age'. Which may have implications for your friend's inheritance, because there's a finite pot of money on your death and the amount needed to ensure your DGC get what's owed to them may be difficult to ascertain. 

Which is a long and slightly off-topic way of saying that if you did not get 'proper' advice on your trust plans, or if it was some time ago, you may wish to revisit your options! 

kimwp

Leave him £100 so it shows that you have considered him and it's not an oversight. I think your idea about helping your granddaughter get on the housing ladder is a lovely idea, gifts given earlier in life have a much bigger impact.

Dawn_flower

I thank everyone for their comments which have helped me make decisions.  I am definitely going to help my granddaughter get on the property ladder because it will give me a lot of pleasure see her get settled while I amm still here.  It also gives me an opportunity to help her learn to budget the amount I give her to see her complete her dream.  I am going to grant some money to my son with an explanation why it is not 50%.  I still don’t know what to do about my house because my son’s home is a rental but my granddaughter will be paying for her own house.  My son has no means to purchase a property and this could be his only chance to own a property.   I know he doesn’t deserve it but I still care. 

GrubbyGirl_2

Savvy_Sue said:

GrubbyGirl_2 said:

I have no qualms about not leaving anything to the one I don't speak to.  The other brother doesn't need any money, neither do his children as they have all done very well for themselves.  His grandchildren are 10 and 11.  I have left them a good chunk of money in Trust which should not be released until they are 21.  The rest (more than half of my estate) I have left to my best friend who I have known for 15 years and is such a brilliant kind person who would bend over backwards to do anything for me.  He doesn't have a clue that he is the main beneficiary.  He's the one who deserves the money.  He works hard and doesn't earn much but as I said would give his last penny to me if I needed it.  If he does before me his share goes to charity.

It's your money, you earned it, it's entirely up to you who gets it.  Hopefully your brother would be happy for his daughter anyway.

Absolutely agree with your last paragraph, and with advice above suggesting the OP pre-informs her son - somehow - that he isn't going to inherit substantially. I wouldn't want his daughter facing a strong reaction from him if he only finds out after the OP's death.  

But I'm also just going to comment on @GrubbyGirl_2's  'trust' plans for grandchildren. I'm sure you'll have take proper advice on this, but you should be aware that if the money has been left via the most straightforward (and inexpensive) form of trust, it's likely that your DGC could ask for and have the money at the age of 18, notwithstanding your wishes. 

And if it is tied up in the kind of trust which definitely can't be accessed until they are 21, be aware that these are not as easy to manage, may incur expenses while they are being managed, and need proper handling while the DGC are 'under age'. Which may have implications for your friend's inheritance, because there's a finite pot of money on your death and the amount needed to ensure your DGC get what's owed to them may be difficult to ascertain. 

Which is a long and slightly off-topic way of saying that if you did not get 'proper' advice on your trust plans, or if it was some time ago, you may wish to revisit your options! 

Not wishing to hijack this thread but yes I have taken proper advice and the Trust document is very extensive and comprehensive.  They are my grand niece and nephew not grandchildren.  As for implications to my friend I have been very clear in my will that the house (about 1/2 of my estate) is separate and goes to him whatever happens.  The shares to the children are based on a % portion of everything else.  If the money gets spent on care costs in the future then they get less, simple as.  In the event that the house gets sold to cover care costs because the money run out then anything left up to the sale value of the house is his and that could mean the kids get nothing.  It's a complicated will and cost a flippin fortune to get drawn up, but as I said my nieces have been very successful in their lives so have the ability to look after their own children so it wont be a hardship if they don't get much, if anything.  But it would mean everything to my friend.