Is it fair to leave my house and money only to my granddaughter as my son has fallen out with me.

Dawn_flower

My son has fallen out with me years ago but his daughter carried on visiting and helps quite a lot.  I need to sort my will out and have been delaying it as my dilemma is should I leave my house and money to my granddaughter only or should I give something to my son who doesn’t want to know me.

caprikid1

Your money your choice.

Why should they get the money ?

la531983

Echo the above. Just ensure the will is watertight and properly organised to stop any potential challenge to it.

DancingBadger

Not sure why you'd leave money to someone you've not seen for years, even if he is your son.  Blood isn't always thicker than water.  I would be inclined to mention in your will the reason your son is not included just on case he decides to challenge it - although from the sound of it, it's unlikely he would have any grounds to challenge.

vacheron

Absolutely not. Give it to those who you care about, and who care about you. But as above, make sure your intentions are clear and not subject to any future challenge.

Dawn_flower

Thank you for your reply.  I still care about him despite the fact he doesn’t care about me.  He still expects to inherit so regardless of what or if I leave anything, I will definitely make the reason clear. 

MyRealNameToo

Dawn_flower said:

My son has fallen out with me years ago but his daughter carried on visiting and helps quite a lot.  I need to sort my will out and have been delaying it as my dilemma is should I leave my house and money to my granddaughter only or should I give something to my son who doesn’t want to know me.

Totally agree with others that it's your stuff so your choice who it goes to. 

Have you spoken to your granddaughter about it and taken her views into consideration? 

I dont speak to my mother, she always threatened me that she'd write me out if I didnt, I always said I thought she should spend the lot and enjoy herself not worry about leaving an inheritance. No idea what she's actually done, she has a habit of falling out with people. Last time she said she was going to do it it was to go to my cousin but she fell out with her too before I broke contact. 

Personally there are a few of my father's things I'd have liked, as memories not that they material value, but the rest of it I'd rather she used to enjoy life. 

JamesRobinson48

As above. Make sure your executor is someone you trust to honour your wishes (preferably not your son). 

lr1277

This situation has been mentioned before on these forums. You could take one or both of these suggestions.

1) Leave your son a nominal amount (e.g. £1) to show that you considered him when writing the will

2) If you do this will with a solicitor, you could also leave a letter of intent. This could explain your thinking on how you have distributed assets as written in the will.

ButterCheese

Just something else to consider:

Let's say you leave everything to your grandaughter and £1 to your son, with a note to say "you didn't bother with me so I've left your daughter all of my money".  How is that going to make your son feel?  And how might that affect the relationship between him and your GD?  What's their relationship like at the moment?  It might feel ok to give your son a poke in the eye as your last farewell, but they will still have a relationship to enjoy (or not) for the rest of their days.  By creating a potelitally large wealth gap between them, and potentially inciting jealousy, it might not be the best way for you to help your grandaughter out.

I'd probably go with 70/30 in your grandaughters favour.  But of course, only you can choose what to do.  There is not a book on what's fair, so make sure you do what you want to do.

poseidon1

Dawn_flower said:

My son has fallen out with me years ago but his daughter carried on visiting and helps quite a lot.  I need to sort my will out and have been delaying it as my dilemma is should I leave my house and money to my granddaughter only or should I give something to my son who doesn’t want to know me.

Note the following extract from a law firm commenting on the England & Wales position regarding the freedom to direct your estate to anyone you please :


'' England & Wales remains one of the only jurisdictions in Europe which does not impose 'forced heirship' rules. Instead, the principle of testamentary freedom reigns supreme. Spouses and children of a deceased individual have no automatic right to a portion of the estate. ''

In short England ( and Wales) are an outlier in Europe in perceiving no moral imperative on a person to provide for their spouse or children in their Wills.  This contrasts with the position in neighbouring Scotland where a limited form of forced heirship in favour children does  exsists.

Callous as it may sound, English law gives you complete freedom to bypass your son entirely and settle your estate on whomever you please without having to explain your actions..

In the present case however, if your granddaughter is a minor, you will have to select an executor capable and willing to act as trustee of her inheritance pending age 18. 
 What this arrangement might do for the future relationship between granddaughter and her father, only you can be the judge.