Money Moral Dilemma: Should my partner pay more towards bills to cover his children in our new home?

Edinabucket

You could be kind and assume your partner is trying to be fair or hadn’t fully understood the financial implications of his suggestion. But I’d be very suspicious of anyone who suggests taking a greater share of joint assets. Hopefully your relationship will be forever but should you spilt up he’ll get back what he’s invested in the home whilst you can’t recover the extra spent on consumables. Before you make any long term commitments it’s vital you both honestly discuss the financial commitments 

tridoddytri

I’d go 50/50 and suggest he offers to pay for family meals out and takeaways. To be honest it sounds like he’s being nice about it and acknowledging his share is greater whereas you’re being nice about it and saying you’re happy to go 50/50. Sounds like happy families to me 🙂

Bunnytops

You should both split the cost, you are either in a partnership or you are not, if not keep your own houses and go your separate ways, your attitude is wrong considering what you are thinking off doing.

Igcomment

Brie said:

50% of the mortgage and 50% of the ownership.  And he pays more for bills. 

He also does more of the cleaning shopping and cooking and laundry.

This 100%.  If you wanted him to fund a higher share of the house that is fine, if you're happy to go 50/50 on this stick to it but he should definitely pay a higher proportion of the bills and do more of the chores and all of the childcare.  Time for a few serious conversations.

primrose_penguin

You are right. For your own protection you must insist you pay half the deposit and half the mortgage. Yes he should contribute more to the household costs and chores especially when his children are with you. I hope you have thought long and hard about taking on his 3 children part time, life is not going to be easy, but I wish you g
ood luck. 

amandamac59

50/50 mortgage/ownership, too complicated otherwise if something were to change. His children so I would hope he would contribute more to the bills. That situation may well change in the future but ownership & mortgage won't

Da7thSon

How about stop worrying about how many kids each of you have... it should be about "us" as a team. Im in the same position but we dont worry about who pays more just becuase one of us has more kids. We work on a percentage of income so that we both contribue equally based on or ralative income. E.g. if one of you made £1000 after tax and the other made £2000 after tax and the mortgage was £900, then one person would pay £300 and the other £600 as its the same percentage of our own take home pay. doesnt matter how many kids each of you have.

Blueheartbeats

Do not accept anything other than 50:50 input and ownership of the property. Your partner is not being fair to suggest that he pays and owns more as he, or his children, will eventually get a return as the house value increases. He may also have more control in various decision-making connected with the house.

No-one gets a return on bills so he should pay the extra costs of bills, or damage incurred, when his children are living with you. That's fairer because the children are his responsibility.

You need to get this sorted officially before you sign up for anything - for instance check on whether you want to be joint owners or tenants in common as that will affect who gets what if you should split up or if the worst happens to one of you.

You also need to consider an agreement about what happens if one of you passes away. If he leaves his half to his children then you need some protection/agreement that you can carry on living in the house for a certain period before it has to be sold. At least a year so you can grieve and think about your future. You will need time to consider your options and not being pushed into a quick sale by the children wanting their inheritance immediately. Depending on their ages you may have to cope with their mother making demands for a sale.
 
Also make a Will about what happens to all your assets. 

TheRedHerring

Oh my goodness, from a lay person's point of view the property should be strictly 50/50 paid for in equal share as property ownership is an investment.  With regard to property maintenance and improvements again 50/50, however, regarding repairs these need to be negotiated on an individual basis as to how they came about and who does the repairs and how well the task is completed. 
It is good to hear that you are being careful about financial arrangements and I would suggest you seek legal advice, as if the relationship were to dissolve it becomes very complicated in regard to property and children, you may find you are picking up costs for maintaining the property until the children reach maturity.
Young 'step children' can be an absolute delight but there can also be a tendency for one of the adults to be carrying out most the domestic chores e.g. washing, ironing and cleaning, especially if they work from home and dare I say, female.  

xaghra

Make sure that ownership of the home on the deeds is Tenants in Common. In fact all house ownership should be Tenants in Common,so if anyone in later life has to go into a care home, Social Services/Council cannot only take 50% of the house. Better still put the house into a trust