Money Moral Dilemma: Should my partner pay more towards bills to cover his children in our new home?

MSE_Kelvin

This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

 My partner and I are looking to move in together. He has three children from a previous relationship who will live with us part of the time. We both have the same deposit to put towards our new home, but he's suggested he pays more of the mortgage and owns a larger percentage of the property to compensate for us needing a home with more bedrooms for his children. I don't agree and can afford to go 50-50 on the property. Instead, I think he should pay more towards bills to cover the cost of his children. Who's right?

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kimwp

I think if the idea is that he bears the financial burden of his children, then paying 50:50 to own 50:50 of the asset, with him paying for repairs if his kids cause damage makes sense. In terms of bills, if bills would be lower if the children didn't live there, then (again, if the idea is that he bears the financial burden of the kids), then he should pay the extra. But if they would be the same, then you should split 50:50 as part of co-owning a larger asset. So if the kids don't affect the bills, then I actually don't think it's bills or mortgage, I think it's both- you own a smaller percentage and pay for bills of a smaller percentage (as though you had bought a smaller house together) or 50:50 and you split the bills 50:50- you own a larger house and the bills are larger accordingly.

Brie

50% of the mortgage and 50% of the ownership.  And he pays more for bills. 

He also does more of the cleaning shopping and cooking and laundry.

2702

You are right.
He says he wants to pay more to have a larger percentage of the property? So you would need to get a solicitor to draw something up as if you are both on the title then by law it is a 50/50 split. Do not even know if that would be possible.
Good luck

gerryseaton

Do not let your partner own more of the house than you do or he, in my opinion, could be able to kick you out easier, I'm probably wrong, but just incase. Own 50/50. But, yes, he should pay more electricity, gas, food and do more of the chores, clothes washing and ironing, cleaning etc. It's not easy when you live with just your partner, the added addition of the children is hard work. I speak from experience. Do not try to be the nice guy and do their washing, ironing and all the cooking!!!! It doesn't work, honestly! You have to lay down the rules before you move in together. I thought I would make the big impression and do it all!!! Big mistake, but thankfully, we made it work after a few hitches!!! Also you don't say how old the children are, but if old enough, they can do chores too. Good luck, but no matter how much you love your partner, protect yourself. 

Aimee2

If he is trying to be genuinely fair then the offer would be to pay more of the mortgage and own 50/50. He is looking for a bigger proportion of the house in case you split up.  15 years down the line if you split up you would be very unhappy, particularly as the mortgage is likely to be more manageable as your salary increases and the house has risen in value.  

Rocketdogroya

I am unsure if you mean a 50/50 ownership like a business transaction or siblings etc or if you mean a joint ownership?
The house is going to theoretically be your home for much longer than the kids will be children. So the idea you losing out on that asset isnt in your interest. Unless you are only considering a bigger house for him? I personally would just treat everything between you both as equal and anything specific to the kids as his financial responsibilty.

Theroux_Moo

Personally I would insist on 50% of mortgage and ownership. You do not want to get into difficulties should you part ways, and he’s the majority owner with more power. I think equality is the strongest foundation for a relationship, not always possible but it’s the best way. Agree that he should contribute more to bills and upkeep of the house. Obviously be a loving partner, but protect your interests too. 

mlz1413

Interesting dilemma.

She wants to own 50/50 and pay that split of mortgage but pay less than half the bills.
He wants to own more, example 60/40, but only offered to pay more mortgage. 

I can see her point, 1 of her, 1 + 3 on his side.  The part time split for children wasn't given, but let's guess at 50%.  So a fair amount of extra washing and cooking, so Gas, Water & Electric,  plus extra wear & tear.  Heating and TV/Broadband could be the same,  rates and insurance doesn't change.

If he owned more and they paid that split on all bills it would probably be fairer all round. 
BUT definitely need an agreement about any rights to sell and split of proceeds.

Standardize_Delay_Repay

You are right. 50/50 ownership/mortgage and he contributes more towards the bills. Anything else and I’d run a mile.

PennysIntoPounds

You're right.
Though think carefully about if moving in together is really the right thing for you all if you're already feeling like 'his kids are costing me money' and he's already feeling like 'I need to have more legal rights to the house than my so-called partner'. You don't have to just because it's expected.
Good luck.