Disagreement between siblings for dads POA

Daisy0606

My partner and his sister have a joint POA for their dad. His health has been failing for almost 2 years .He was in hospital for a few months and is now in a care home, which he absolutely loves. 

My SIL is now trying to get him moved to another care home about 30 minutes away from us . She lives about 2 and a half hours away . Throughout the last 2 years it has been my partner and myself that have taken care of dad  We went with him in ambulances, stayed at the hospital with him, visited every day . When he got home for a few months, we were the ones that took meals round every day, cleaned the house, went round when his alarm went off at all hours. When he moved to the care home we have visited every day and take him out 2 or 3 times a week.SIL will visit about once a month ( despite at the start visiting 3 or 4 times every 2 weeks on the train and driving . 
POA was given to my partner and his sister about 6 months ago as his house needed sold and his health was failing . His mental capacity is good on some days but not on others. He does not want to move from where he is normally, however, when SIL visits him she says that he can move to this other home and more family members can see him ( these family members have visited him twice this year despite being about 20 minutes away) . The day after she visits dad always says he can move to see more people but doesnt know where he would be moving to etc. He gets quite upset over this . The care home staff have noticed this and have mentioned that he bis always very upset and confused for the days after she has seen him 
This morning his care home phoned me and said that this other care home half an hour away phoned them this morning asking for dads details etc.They refused to give them and told them to contact my partner, 
What happens when siblings dont agree with what is best for dads care? Some days hes sharp as a tack although he cannot remember anything and we have the same conversation frequently within a few hours visit . Also she has taken over all of his finances, including selling the house, and he has been left with no money. When we go out, we treat him to dinner, coffees etc ( which we absolutely do not mind) but he often says he will pay for a meal then gets upset when we say its ok we will get it .His house has been sold and no one other than the SIL knows how much it sold for or where the money is .

RAS

If the house has been sold and no-one other than SIL knows where the money is, your partner needs to talk to the OPG urgently.

Your partner is as legally liable for any mess caused by Sis and both could lose their right to manage FIL's affairs. Both parties should have signed the contract of sale and the solicitor should have been very careful about where the money went. What actually happened?

Has FIL been assessed for finances by social services? Does he have a case worker? If so, he needs to speak to them urgently. If not, he needs to contact the office and ask to speak to their adult safe-guarding team.

Keep_pedalling

It sounds like he still have the mental capacity to make his own decisions regard to where he wants to be so any move is going to be not in his best interests.  

Do they have both financial and welfare LPAs in place? Are the attorneys allowed to act jointly and severally or just jointly? 

Daisy0606

RAS said:

If the house has been sold and no-one other than SIL knows where the money is, your partner needs to talk to the OPG urgently.

Your partner is as legally liable for any mess caused by Sis and both could lose their right to manage FIL's affairs. Both parties should have signed the contract of sale and the solicitor should have been very careful about where the money went. What actually happened?

Has FIL been assessed for finances by social services? Does he have a case worker? If so, he needs to speak to them urgently. If not, he needs to contact the office and ask to speak to their adult safe-guarding team.

He didnt sign anything about the house.He knew it was on the market but didnt know it had been sold until his sister messaged him to say it has been sold and he had 5 days to remove anything he wanted from it .We both took time off work and removed all the personal belongings, photos etc.
Yes he has been assessed and he has a case manager. We dont think she is doing anything dishonest , its more a control thing, but then we cant be sure ,
Partner is more worried about his sister trying to remove him from the care home that he is thriving in . She is not answering her phone or messages at the moment as she is away for 3 weeks 

Daisy0606

Keep_pedalling said:

It sounds like he still have the mental capacity to make his own decisions regard to where he wants to be so any move is going to be not in his best interests.  

Do they have both financial and welfare LPAs in place? Are the attorneys allowed to act jointly and severally or just jointly? 

He has mental capacity but his short term memory means he cannot remember things after a few minutes and gets very confused. Yes they both have financial and welfare LPAs in place and should be acting jointly 

Keep_pedalling

Daisy0606 said:

Keep_pedalling said:

It sounds like he still have the mental capacity to make his own decisions regard to where he wants to be so any move is going to be not in his best interests.  

Do they have both financial and welfare LPAs in place? Are the attorneys allowed to act jointly and severally or just jointly? 

He has mental capacity but his short term memory means he cannot remember things after a few minutes and gets very confused. Yes they both have financial and welfare LPAs in place and should be acting jointly 

If the LPA states that the attorneys have to act jointly then she should not have been able to sell the house so it is more likely that it was jointly and severally, meaning she could act alone. She is now sitting on his money so is the only one who can fund his care so this is now a total mess. 

Forcing a move from his current home against his will is abuse. Might be worth talking to the LA safeguarding team. Does he have a named social worker?

RAS

Sounds like reading the POA is going to be the best next step! And getting advice if your husband doesn't understand.

It's not uncommon to allow joint and several actions but often things like the sale of assets over a certain value or even any action over a certain value has to be joint.

So get him to read it and maybe post back. And going forward your husband needs to be much more proactive in managing FIL's affairs. Like know where all the money is, having total transparency regarding all purchases and planning any changes to FIL's life.

Daisy0606

Keep_pedalling said:

Daisy0606 said:

Keep_pedalling said:

It sounds like he still have the mental capacity to make his own decisions regard to where he wants to be so any move is going to be not in his best interests.  

Do they have both financial and welfare LPAs in place? Are the attorneys allowed to act jointly and severally or just jointly? 

He has mental capacity but his short term memory means he cannot remember things after a few minutes and gets very confused. Yes they both have financial and welfare LPAs in place and should be acting jointly 

If the LPA states that the attorneys have to act jointly then she should not have been able to sell the house so it is more likely that it was jointly and severally, meaning she could act alone. She is now sitting on his money so is the only one who can fund his care so this is now a total mess. 

Forcing a move from his current home against his will is abuse. Might be worth talking to the LA safeguarding team. Does he have a named social worker?

It was definitely jointly as we remember that being discussed when the POA papers were signed. He doesnt have a named social worker but the care home is going to phone the care manager for social work and sort out a meeting. They can see its us that visits and takes him out, buys him what he needs etc.She visits once a month so has no idea how happy he is where he is now

Daisy0606

RAS said:

Sounds like reading the POA is going to be the best next step! And getting advice if your husband doesn't understand.

It's not uncommon to allow joint and several actions but often things like the sale of assets over a certain value or even any action over a certain value has to be joint.

So get him to read it and maybe post back. And going forward your husband needs to be much more proactive in managing FIL's affairs. Like know where all the money is, having total transparency regarding all purchases and planning any changes to FIL's life.

I have said that he needs to really chase his sister on things. The POA is definitely jointly. The problem is his sister has tried to control everyone all their lives. Thank you, we are arranging with his care home for the social work care manager to have a meeting with everyone to find out whats going on .
Its awful when it comes to this . The poor soul just wants peace and quiet in his twilight years 

Flugelhorn

If jointly then that is what it has to be and SIL needs to be reminded of this - if she ignores it then get the OPG to remind her 

RAS

Have you actually read the POA paperwork before responding? It's all to easy to remember the bits you agree with and not recognise the implications of the words "and severally". Particularly if your husband wanted and expected it to be jointly.

If it is jointly, then SIL wouldn't be allowed to sell the house and this is a major legal issue.

So read the paperwork again.