Fertility Treatment

bouicca21

IVF is very stressful and has no guarantee of success. Some people end up doing multiple rounds at horrendous expense and still don’t get the longed for baby.  Another possibility is exploring foster to adopt. This has been very successful for some.

Emmia

bouicca21 said:

IVF is very stressful and has no guarantee of success. Some people end up doing multiple rounds at horrendous expense and still don’t get the longed for baby.  Another possibility is exploring foster to adopt. This has been very successful for some.

I think suggesting fostering or adoption as an alternative is inappropriate.

Children up for fostering and/or adoption are not normally babies, but children who have frequently had a difficult start. I think someone has to want to foster or adopt in itself, to give these kids a better chance, rather than as a "I can't have a baby" substitute.

I also wonder given the OPs financial position, and as a single person,  whether they would pass the assessment process for either fostering or adoption.  

kittycatface

bouicca21 said:

IVF is very stressful and has no guarantee of success. Some people end up doing multiple rounds at horrendous expense and still don’t get the longed for baby.  Another possibility is exploring foster to adopt. This has been very successful for some.

Thank you but i work in the childcare field and unfortunately have been very put off by what i have seen over the years about f2a and its not suitable for the circumstances i find myself in. I agree re the stress of IVF even getting to the stage where all the tests etc are in and ready to start treatment has taken over 6 months. I am aware of the success rates and researched them for each clinic and my age. Its just the fact that until the bombshell from ex OH the nhs was going to fund the treatment then when you find yourself single its a quick turnaround to come up with the £. Psychologically I don’t want to say that I haven’t tried but yes am managing my expectations. Its just the practical side i think anyone else might know about as the emotional part and the stats are for me to deal with as no one can do anything about that. Thanks for your help tho not a lot of people know anything about f2adopt and you weren’t to know I was in the loop  

kittycatface

Spikeygran said:

Sending a big hug.  I'm feeling cross that his change of mind, has the potential to affect your chance of motherhood.  

Have you checked the criteria for single women in your area, though looking at this it seems its discriminatory against single women.  So much for equality   .     https://fertilitymapper.com/fertility/treatment/ivf-for-single-women/

 I dont know whether there are any charities that could assist?  I suppose you could try crowd funding the IVF.  

Daft question but (without going into details of course) do you actually need IVF if theres a different donor?  A relative was about to go down the IVF route having had no luck through 2 marriages, and time running out. I think she had a tubal flush and got pregnant very quickly afterwards. I read an online article at the time that suggested it should be tried as a much cheaper procedure before IVF.

Thanks yes there is no funding for single people in my area. Tubal flush never heard of but worth asking about, thank you x there is one charity I can potentially apply to to part fund the treatment retrospectively as their applications open In Jan. 

josephine82

Just one note from personal experience of 2 rounds of IVF (unsuccessful) is that the cost of everything adds up. An initial quote is unlikely to cover everything. My medication was twice was was quoted because of my age and my test results. Additional meds needed and extra scans added up. 

I was lucky enough to have savings for treatment and future if it was successful but it still shocked me how much it cost. 

Also worth noting your clinic will likely ask you to go through counselling as a single woman and they may recommend you wait a period of time between your relationship ending and going ahead on your own. 

It’s a seriously big decision so please don’t rush into it. Get yourself settled first.