Ex Partner Wants to Sell House

booboo85

Thank you everyone for the comments.

One thing i will say is that I do not want to be tied to my ex, i really dont and if there was anything i could do, i would, but financially I will struggle to cope if i dont stay in the house.

To give you abit more of an insight, i am currently claiming benefits on top of my wages, but i need this to pay the mortgage, live and feed my children. Like i said previously, i am living pay check to pay check.

It is not as easy for me to get more work, as someone suggests, as i dont have people available to look after the kids. My work is in a school and works alongside their school times.

Also, if we sell the house, I would have an equity share of about 30k, which would then cease my benefit entitlement (and i wouldnt be entilied to house benefit, as ive enquiried about this), so i would then be using any equity to pay for additional rental costs.

Which means, I sell the house and have to use the money for rent, whereas he can use his for whatever he wants (thats if he has the debt).

My ex currently lives with his new girlfriend in her property, and may I suggest is that he has rung up debt to live the high life with her, as he cannot pay for his children, but he can take his new girlfriend and her children to spain for 10 days and various weekends away!

By the way, my ex does not have the kids over night, ever.

Part of me thinks that i should just say b*llocks to him and refuse to sell and then if he takes me to court, he takes me to court and if he wins, i deal with it then. It gets me down so much.

silvercar

ian1246 said:

itsthelittlethings said:

If he’s willing to give you the equity and you’re paying the mortgage, I don’t understand why he wants you to sell as there’s nothing for him to gain?

It reads like he's trying to buy himself out of future CSA payments. A house sale would also remove him off the mortgage - which would have a huge impact for his credit raising capacity.

It's worth noting that neither the OP or any other posters in this thread have given the slightest thought to what OP themself said about rent being in excess of 50% more than the current mortgage and that implication for the Ex.

If he's tied to the mortgage on the property EX is living in, its extremely unlikely he can get a mortgage elsewhere. That means he's either sofa surfing (homeless), lodging (limited protection/rights) or renting - which would then mean paying the extortionate rent costs the OP has mentioned and is so worried about themself - which in itself could explain why the EX's financial circumstances are deteriorating (i believe the relevant saying here is "what's good for the goose is good for the gander")

If it gets to court, a judge may well be asked why should he be forced to absorb those extra rent costs, unable to buy his own mortgaged property for the next 9 years, whilst the ex avoids those same excessive rent costs due to leveraging a mortgage which is predominantly based on HIS credit raising capacity (OP only earns £12,000 a year).

As I said above - a court could rule in OP's favour if they are satisfied its absolutely necessary, but it has huge implications for the EX and his future - hence why it's a ruling which will only be given if its truly necessary. Worth resembling the EX & OP aren't married, so legally she has absolutely zero entitlement to ongoing financial support beyond what is necessary for the children.

That's a very one sided view. He has some responsibility to paying for housing for his kids. OP if renting would need a property large enough to house the kids, whereas he only needs room for himself as he doesn't have the kids staying over, so his rental costs would be a lot cheaper. (Though it appears he is with his new GF, so has no direct rent costs). 

RAS

We can understand your frustrations but the blunt facts are:

Half of the equity that you have and are building belongs to your ex. There's nothing you can do about that even if you pay off the whole mortgage.

You can't afford to pay rent where you are, and don't have much in the way of increased income potential.

You can't afford to buy your ex out either.

The £30k could be used to help you relocate somewhere you can afford, whilst the kids are better able to manage school changes, certainly before they start exam curricula.

Paying off debt is considered reasonable, as would be moving costs, deposits and rent up front. And you would then be able to claim the whole rent if appropriate.

You'd have to time it all carefully within a claim period so you didn't exceed the capital limit at the end of the period.

And you claim CMS as well, providing the ex doesn't go self employed. 

tacpot12

So you see why it is important to take professional advice. There are a range of potential outcomes, and you need some advice about what is realistically achievable in your situation.

You are doing really well to be coping, and any child maintenance will only help. 

Claddagh_Noir

I don't mean to throw the cat amongst the pigeons here but I wonder if the new GF has declared to the council that he is living with her? I say this because he seems to be evading paying towards his children's upkeep.

elsien

Claddagh_Noir said:

I don't mean to throw the cat amongst the pigeons here but I wonder if the new GF has declared to the council that he is living with her? I say this because he seems to be evading paying towards his children's upkeep.

Unless his occupancy hasn’t been declared for council tax purposes, I really can’t see why the council would care. 

Brie

ian1246 said:
If he owes debts, its absolutely going to impact you - creditors will be turning up at the address even if he tells them he doesnt live there. More importantly and why i think you really do need to consider a house sale & ending your mortgage with him - right now you & he are financial associates. That means as his financial credit rating collapses its going to drag yours down as well - which could mean your own ability to raise credit declines, which could impact a future mortgage or even rentals.

elsien said:

Claddagh_Noir said:

I don't mean to throw the cat amongst the pigeons here but I wonder if the new GF has declared to the council that he is living with her? I say this because he seems to be evading paying towards his children's upkeep.

Unless his occupancy hasn’t been declared for council tax purposes, I really can’t see why the council would care. 

The council might not care but DWP would if she is getting UC and hasn't included him in those calculations.  

And yes while there is a financial association via the mortgage there is unlikely (one hopes) anything else.  So if there are no shared bank accounts, he doesn't have access to the OP's credit cards etc then there is no issue with his failing credit - as long as the mortgage is paid.  Creditors are unlikely to show up unless he's lied about where he lives and the OP will hopefully know that if they do she does not need to answer the door and certainly should never let them in (even if it's blowing a gale and they need the loo)

elsien

There is no suggestion that the girlfriend is claiming UC or any other benefits as far as I can see in the relevant post. 

Brie

elsien said:

There is no suggestion that the girlfriend is claiming UC or any other benefits as far as I can see in the relevant post. 

I agree - which is why I said "if".

ian1246

booboo85 said:

Thank you everyone for the comments.

One thing i will say is that I do not want to be tied to my ex, i really dont and if there was anything i could do, i would, but financially I will struggle to cope if i dont stay in the house.

To give you abit more of an insight, i am currently claiming benefits on top of my wages, but i need this to pay the mortgage, live and feed my children. Like i said previously, i am living pay check to pay check.

It is not as easy for me to get more work, as someone suggests, as i dont have people available to look after the kids. My work is in a school and works alongside their school times.

Also, if we sell the house, I would have an equity share of about 30k, which would then cease my benefit entitlement (and i wouldnt be entilied to house benefit, as ive enquiried about this), so i would then be using any equity to pay for additional rental costs.

Which means, I sell the house and have to use the money for rent, whereas he can use his for whatever he wants (thats if he has the debt).

My ex currently lives with his new girlfriend in her property, and may I suggest is that he has rung up debt to live the high life with her, as he cannot pay for his children, but he can take his new girlfriend and her children to spain for 10 days and various weekends away!

By the way, my ex does not have the kids over night, ever.

Part of me thinks that i should just say b*llocks to him and refuse to sell and then if he takes me to court, he takes me to court and if he wins, i deal with it then. It gets me down so much.

Op, you need to seek some professional advice with regards to the bit in bold because I think its a overly pessimistic view of your circumstances. In-fact - I'll go one step further and suggest that your current circumstances are probably making you worse off financially than if you were actually renting.

Any saving past £6000 reduces your universal credit claim - and yes, if you stuck that £30,000 into savings that would render your universal credit claim null and void, unless you were in the process of buying a house.

That's the key bit you need to seriously contemplate. £30,000 equity would realistically give you maybe £25,000 to put down as a deposit for buying a shared ownership property. Your £12,000 income (plus universal credit) would then potentially allow you to get a small mortgage of maybe another £30,000ish to increase the share your buying.

You wouldn't get any Universal Credit help for the mortgage payments, but you absolutely would be eligible for the Universal Credit Housing Allowance for the rent you'd pay on the the unowned share.

I haven't looked at the figures recently, but from memory I think the rent in most Shared Ownership Housing Allowance Schemes is typically linked to the market-value of the unowned share, something like 2 or 2.5% of the market value being due in annual rent. I.e. if you buy a £250,000 house and own a 20% share (£50,000 from equity and mortgage) you'd then be paying rent to the Housing Allowance based on the remaining £200,000 (80%) unowned share. If its 2.5% that would equate to £5000 annual rent - £416 a month rent.

If you contact your local housing associations who are running shared ownership schemes they'd be able to explain the exact method they use to decide on the rent, which will then allow you to be better placed to make a decision on whether a shared ownership scheme is right for you.

But right now it sounds like your barely keeping your head above water carrying 100% of the mortgage costs.

When it comes to that mortgage, you need to keep in mind your payments are servicing a debt (your mortgage interest rate) many times larger than what you would have in a shared ownership scheme. To work it out, take your outstanding mortgage and multiply it by your interest rate and then divide it by 12 - that is the monthly interest amount you are paying every month on your (large) mortgage. Deduct that amount from your monthly mortgage and that will give you the amount of capital you are actually repaying every month on the original debt - a large portion of your mortgage payments will be just paying for the interest.

You also need to remember that for any equity you build up - whether its from mortgage repayment or increased house value over the years - 50% of it is eventually going to your ex. Its just a question of whether its now or in 9 years time when the kids are older. 

Lastly, because its a mortgage, rather than a rent, you get no Housing-Allowance support included in your universal credit - meaning your UC amount is probably hundreds of £££ lower than if you were renting.

If you get a shared ownership, your mortgage costs will be significantly smaller (both in terms of monthly payments and in the monthly £££ you spend servicing the interest on that debt), whilst the vast majority of your rental costs will be covered by Universal Credit - practically, you'd likely be several £100 better off a month whilst having severed that last tie to your ex (Bar Child Maintenance, which you can let the CSA handle - incidentally, you need to be back-dating what Ex owes you over the last 4 years if he's paid nothing. Speak to CSA about that).

Most shared ownership schemes have the ability to stair case too - so once you'd built up your savings to the £6000 limit (A good emergency fund!), you could then throw any excess income at overpaying your (small) mortgage and then when it comes to re-mortgaging, re-mortgage back up to a larger amount and buy a larger share in the house.

Remember: Any £££ invested in the property your living in do not count as savings for Universal Credit purposes - so if you do sell the house, as long as you put those £££ into purchasing a property / shared ownership property, then those £££ will not impact your Universal Credit claim.

Its ultimately your call - but in your shoes I'd absolutely be researching Shared Ownership Schemes and what's available in your local area - including future schemes in the next year or 2. Once I had that information (including the projected monthly rental amounts on the unowned share), I'd then be revisiting the discussion around what your Universal Credit amount would be if the equity from the house sale is invested into the property your living in.