Ex Partner Wants to Sell House

booboo85

Hi,

Not sure if this is in the correct section, but any advice would really help.

Current situation is that I have a mortgaged property with my ex partner, who moved out about 3-4 years ago. I currently live there on my own with our children, aged 9 and 11.

When he moved out, he stopped paying the mortgage and bills, which means i pay it all.

He also doesn't pay any child maintenance.

I recently applied to CSA for him to start paying and for them to collect it, as when he promises to send money, he never does.

Hes now brought me a letter saying that he cannot pay the child maintanence that the CSA are going to collect and that I either need to buy him out or we need to sell the house.

He has said that if we can agree to £100 a month child maintanence, then if we sell they house, he will let me have the whole equity of the house, but is that even possible/legal.

I think he would change his mind anyway, which would result in me giving him half the house money, for just paying £100 a month!! (which wont even get our kids school food!!) 

He says that if we dont sell the house, he cannot afford his other debts and they may come for the house.... But surely CSA take in to consideration all his outgoings before deciding what to take?

The issue I have is that I cannot afford to buy him out as i only earn £12k a year, which also means I cannot get a mortgage on a new house either, and if we sell the house, I wont be able to rent, as rent around here is nearly 50% more than what i currently pay mortgage wise, and i am already currently living paycheck to paycheck.

Therefore, i have a few questions....

- I know he could take me to court, but would be have to pay the fees, as i cannot afford them?

- If we went to court, would they look in my favour due to the ages of my children?

- He has said that people may come to the house for assets to service his debt, but nothing in the house is his, therefore can that happen?

What would you do, if you was in this situation?

tacpot12

While your ex can go to court to try to get a court order ordering the house to be sold, the court will look at what this will do to your children, who need a home. Your children are not young, but neither are they older children, and having a stable home is still important for them. It is not unusual for the order for sale to be made but deferred until your youngest child is 18 years old. 

And while the court can order that you pay your ex's costs, I think that if you confirm that you are only resisting the sale because your children need somewhere to live, I don't think they will order this. If they do order it, the costs can be taken from the sale proceeds. (Really, you need a solicitor to confirm that you have a good case. Then the court will see that your objection to the sale is reasonable). 

If his creditors come for the house, I still think it unlikely that a court would order the house sold, because of the effect this would have on your children.

You need to check whether you are claiming all the benefits you are entitled to, as this might help you demonstrate that you can pay the mortgage. You should also have the CMS maintenance money to factor into your budget, but may have to review your budget in case your ex does not pay. The CMS can attach his earnings which means you will get something, but perhaps not all you should get. 

The CMS calculation should leave him enough to live his life, and I wouldn't accept any suggestio from him that he can't afford to pay the child maintenance without seeing a lot of evidence. 

He will have to consider how he finds the money to start the court case to force a sale, and it sounds like he will find it very difficult to do this.

You need to understand your options if you do manage to stay in the house, e.g. what happens to the equity in the house when it is sold. It would be a pity for you to pay all the mortgage and have to give half of it to you ex. I beleive the court can order somehting about this, but again, you need professional legal advice on this.

You should try to find a local solicitor who can advice you on what to do for the best. They will have experience, and will know how the courts will regard you and your situation. You might have to take out a personal loan for the advice, but it is really an investment in your children's future. Some solicitors will meet with you for upto 30 minutes to explain what they will charge to help you, and how they can help. They will have come across many people in similar situations to you, and will know what the options are. 

Best wishes. 

Savvy_Sue

And just checking, this is not an ex-marriage or civil partner? From whom you'd want to initiate divorce proceedings which would include sorting this out. 

booboo85

Savvy_Sue said:

And just checking, this is not an ex-marriage or civil partner? From whom you'd want to initiate divorce proceedings which would include sorting this out. 

Hi no, this is not a marriage or civil partnership.

RAS

I was going to suggest wikivorce and that may still be a useful place to start regarding legal processes even though your rights are severely restricted because you are not married.

You may also find it useful to talk to Women's Aid as to where you can get advice on the situation as this borders on financial abuse.

However, the basics are that your ex is entitled to half the equity in the property and every time you pay the mortgage you increase the amount you will have to pay out when it sells. 

The courts cannot take into account your housing need or family circumstances. We have seen cases here where reluctant exs have stalled for a decade but eventually the courts will order possession and appoint someone to sign off the sale. The legal fees are substantial but if he's not paying CMS they may be affordable.

Your ex can refer people to whom he owes money to the house even if there are no assets there to seize, although the sort of bailiff stuff you see on TV is wrong. It's more likely debt collectors will eventually  be granted a restriction on which would need paid out of his share of the proceeds.

It's this stuff that makes me suggest taking advice on financial abuse.

My personal advice is that you seriously consider claiming CMS, relocating somewhere less expensive for rent, getting a near full-time job and selling the house.

Rather than building up the equity you owe you ex and still not being able to afford to buy him out after spending a lot on legal fees. And meantime being able to claim rental support if needed, topped up with CMS payments.

I'd also consider advice on going interest only until the house is sold.

kimwp

Make sure all the communications are documented and when you've paid everything.

gwynlas

You really need to seek professional advice and it would help if you had all the facts to hand

How was the deposit funded?
What was the value of the house when he moved out? How much equity then/now?
How much child maintenance would have been paid since he left?
He might argue you had the benefit of living in house whilst he had to rent elsewhere.
How much contact does he have with children custody issues need to be formalised
Would it be possible for you to increase yor earnings?

Not being married unfortunately does make a difference  

ian1246

Ultimately, he's entitled to 50% of the house - assuming its a joint tenant ownership rather than deed of trust. The only question is when he's going to get it.

Best case scenario? A court orders the sale to happen when the kids are 18 - but that would involve depriving him of use of his equity for another 9 years and also keeping him tied into the mortgage for that time (preventing his own ownership of a property). The court would consider it if you can demonstrate why it is absolutely necessary...

... which means you will be expected to explore all available options, including maximising your earning potential to support yourself rather than rely on the ex's continued support, which you currently are (leveraging his income for credit for the mortgage). £12,000 a year income is just 982 hours of work at minimum wage - 18.90 hours a week. There's absolutely capacity to boost earnings there. Are you utilising breakfast & aftershock clubs? Holiday clubs? Remember you can get a childcare tax free account which you can pay for these with (i.e. a £100 breakfast clubs will cost you £80 if paid for via a tax free childcare account due to the 20% tax contribution).

How much equity is there in the house? That will also impact whatever a court decides. Are there any shared ownership schemes in the local area you could look at? Worth remembering you'll be eligible for universal credit and that includes a housing allowance element which would cover the majority of rent (including rent on the share you dont own on a shared ownership).

You need to seriously look at your options - since if this goes to court, they absolutely will do so. They'll only make a decision for you to stay if they are satisfied its absolutely necessary and there are no other reasonable alternatives.

As for the other posters saying about controlling and coercive- i'm not so sure. Your house bills are 100% your responsibility - ex doesn't live there, he has no obligation to pay them since he's not accumulating them.

He's also functionally excluded from the property, so your paying 100% of the mortgage is absolutely correct since you have sole use of the property and therefore would be liable for occupational rent (which you paying his share of the mortgage effectively offsets).

If he owes debts, its absolutely going to impact you - creditors will be turning up at the address even if he tells them he doesnt live there. More importantly and why i think you really do need to consider a house sale & ending your mortgage with him - right now you & he are financial associates. That means as his financial credit rating collapses its going to drag yours down as well - which could mean your own ability to raise credit declines, which could impact a future mortgage or even rentals.

As for CSA - just ask for it to be taken out of his earnings. It'll increase his costs by a significant amount but it'll give you a level of certainty on what your getting and he'll loosethe ability to mess around with it. If he's self employed this does become more difficult, but if he's employed its deducted like a tax.

Good luck.

itsthelittlethings

If he’s willing to give you the equity and you’re paying the mortgage, I don’t understand why he wants you to sell as there’s nothing for him to gain?

elsien

I’m not convinced that the whole keeping in the house till the children are 18 thing is particularly prevalent anymore. 

And although you keep talking about the CSA if he is in debt and goes bankrupt then his half of the house would be an asset.
I can see both sides here because he has money tied up in something that he can’t access. And presumably he is having to pay rent somewhere else in the interim, which depending on his level of wage could make paying the mortgage as well unaffordable for him. The house sale is going to need resolving at some point whether sooner or later.

ian1246

itsthelittlethings said:

If he’s willing to give you the equity and you’re paying the mortgage, I don’t understand why he wants you to sell as there’s nothing for him to gain?

It reads like he's trying to buy himself out of future CSA payments. A house sale would also remove him off the mortgage - which would have a huge impact for his credit raising capacity.

It's worth noting that neither the OP or any other posters in this thread have given the slightest thought to what OP themself said about rent being in excess of 50% more than the current mortgage and that implication for the Ex.

If he's tied to the mortgage on the property EX is living in, its extremely unlikely he can get a mortgage elsewhere. That means he's either sofa surfing (homeless), lodging (limited protection/rights) or renting - which would then mean paying the extortionate rent costs the OP has mentioned and is so worried about themself - which in itself could explain why the EX's financial circumstances are deteriorating (i believe the relevant saying here is "what's good for the goose is good for the gander")

If it gets to court, a judge may well be asked why should he be forced to absorb those extra rent costs, unable to buy his own mortgaged property for the next 9 years, whilst the ex avoids those same excessive rent costs due to leveraging a mortgage which is predominantly based on HIS credit raising capacity (OP only earns £12,000 a year).

As I said above - a court could rule in OP's favour if they are satisfied its absolutely necessary, but it has huge implications for the EX and his future - hence why it's a ruling which will only be given if its truly necessary. Worth resembling the EX & OP aren't married, so legally she has absolutely zero entitlement to ongoing financial support beyond what is necessary for the children.