Family member using my Bank account to buy X-box games - Refuses to stop. What can i do?

Markymcmarker

It's my own fault. 

Last year my nephew (23) asked if he could borrow my debit card to pay for his xbox subscription. I said it was fine and he sent the money. However, 5 months ago he stopped paying me. I then got extra changes £46.99 and two for £69.99. I messaged and asked him what they were and could he send me the money. He replied "No. I can't afford it." I said about I can't afford it as my PIP was stopped and he replied "Not my fault.".
This caused a HUGE argument in the family. I contacted the bank who said "As you gave him your card you can't said it's fraud and we can't help you". I asked what to do and they said to ask the family nicely to remove the card. i said would changing my debit card help and they said "No, as it's been linked to the account a new card wouldn't help". His mother said "He won't do it again and we've warned him."  

Sadly, three days ago £79.98 came out and i'm over drawn and had to borrow money from my mom who is currently in hospice.
I have contacted his mom again who has said to "Stop moaning and message him" (We don't really get on as you can tell).
Everytime I do SMS him I get abuse.
I am really struggling and don't know where to turn.

if i go to the police It will cause even more trouble. My bank wont help etc. I can't close my account as I have an over draft and can't pay that off to close the account etc. I'm worried about calling the bank again as they seemed to be getting angry the last time and said it's a family issue and nothing to do with them.  

I bank with halifax. 

Any advice would be welcome  

Markymcmarker

I don't know how to edit it sorry. He said those charges were for Games and he couldn't refund them. 

Mr.Generous

Go online, or on the app and freeze the card. 

PRAISETHESUN

Can't help with the family issues, but I'd be pressing your bank a bit harder to be honest. Just because you gave permission once in the past doesn't mean you are now obliged to do so until the end of time. Freeze your card and then log a formal complaint saying that you want the transactions refunded, that you revoke permission for all payments to Xbox moving forward, and that you also want a new debit card with a new number. As far as you are concerned your card details have been compromised as you can longer guarantee the family member won't decide to use them for other things that you didn't give permission for. Also press them to remove the tokens issued by Visa/Mastercard that will allow your old card details to be linked to your new card once they issue it.

HampshireH

Cant halifax block payments to that company?

From the CAB

"The law says you can withdraw your consent and stop a future payment under a continuous payment authority at any time up to the end of business on the day before the payment is due.

To withdraw consent, simply tell whoever issued your card (the bank, building society or credit card company) that you don’t want the payment to be made. You can tell the card issuer by phone, email or letter.

Your card issuer has no right to insist that you ask the company taking the payment first. They have to stop the payments if you ask them to.

If you ask to stop a payment, the card issuer should investigate each case on its own merit. They should not apply a blanket policy of refusing to refund payments taken when the client gave their account number out."


They won't refund you I doubt but they should stop the payments.

Exodi

I'm sorry to hear the unfortunate situation you find yourself in. It is sad to read that no-one else seemingly cares.

23 is old enough to know what he's doing is wrong, him suggesting it's "Not my fault" makes my blood boil.

Markymcmarker said:

i said would changing my debit card help and they said "No, as it's been linked to the account a new card wouldn't help".

I'm very surprised to read this and I'd question the correctness of this. I'd freeze your card and see if he's able to make payments then:

https://www.halifax.co.uk/helpcentre/everyday-banking/card-and-pin-services/card-freezes.html

You can get a new card without clearing your OD (and obviously not associating with him or mother ever again). At worst just say it's lost.

Markymcmarker said:

It's my own fault.

The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

It goes without saying that in future you shouldn't give out card details. It makes you wonder why he didn't (or more likely, couldn't) ask his mum to use her debit card, presumably she anticipated this happening, or this isn't the first time he's taken advantage.

ButterCheese

I would freeze the card and order a new one if you can.  It will come with a different 3 digit security number on the back.  I wouldn't hold out much hope of getting the money back if the bank have already said it's your fault for giving out your card details.  As to the family - the nephew and your sisters response is quite shocking, and I'd be cutting them out of my life for sure.  At 23 years old he sounds like a spoilt brat

sheramber

HampshireH said:

Cant halifax block payments to that company?

From the CAB

"The law says you can withdraw your consent and stop a future payment under a continuous payment authority at any time up to the end of business on the day before the payment is due.

To withdraw consent, simply tell whoever issued your card (the bank, building society or credit card company) that you don’t want the payment to be made. You can tell the card issuer by phone, email or letter.

Your card issuer has no right to insist that you ask the company taking the payment first. They have to stop the payments if you ask them to.

If you ask to stop a payment, the card issuer should investigate each case on its own merit. They should not apply a blanket policy of refusing to refund payments taken when the client gave their account number out."


They won't refund you I doubt but they should stop the payments.

It is not a continuous payment. It is buying using the debit card, just like buying anything using your card. 

Can you open an account in another bank and get your payments paid into it, so you can withdraw money. 

Then go into your online banking for your existing account and freeze the debit card. That way it cannot be used and all purchases will be refused. 

You need to try to get your overdraft down. 

sgthammer

Your nephew is 23 years old.

He should have his own damn bank account.

Is it worth taking him to small claims court?

Exodi

sgthammer said:

Your nephew is 23 years old.

He should have his own damn bank account.

Is it worth taking him to small claims court?

Honestly when I first read the title, especially the "Refuses to stop" bit I just assumed the nephew was 12 or something, the card got linked to his account and he was buying things without fully appreciating what was happening.

Not a fully grown adult, who fully understands the situation, but simply does not care.

Aside from the obvious question of why he couldn't use his own bank account, it's quite telling that his mother was seemingly unwilling to help either. I think the intention was probably there from the beginning.

RE: small claims court, unfortunately I think that would fall under the 'you can't get blood from a stone' category.

MyRealNameToo

ButterCheese said:

I would freeze the card and order a new one if you can.  It will come with a different 3 digit security number on the back.  I wouldn't hold out much hope of getting the money back if the bank have already said it's your fault for giving out your card details.  As to the family - the nephew and your sisters response is quite shocking, and I'd be cutting them out of my life for sure.  At 23 years old he sounds like a spoilt brat

And the payments will keep flowing, assuming its going through a CPA

The first payment to setup a CPA goes through the normal checks, the subsequent payments dont use the security code or even the expiry date plus the card updater service will give them the new card number. 


The OP needs to contact their bank and require them to cancel the CPA noting this will stop the card being used for any CPA with that merchant(ID), you can't cancel one but allow another. It's not fool proof though and some companies have more than one merchantID but the bank should refund any payments made to the same firm via CPA after they have actioned the cancellation. 

The only truly robust mechanism is to close the account (not using a switching service)