Power of Attorney mother spending lots of cash

swingaloo

I think we are being a bit harsh on the OP who clearly has concerns. I would be the same if it were my parent. We often see threads about someone being scammed and the response is always 'where were the family'. 
I would be concerned if this was a new thing that has started happening. If she has always spent easily and this is just a slight increase then I woudnt be to worried but if she has gone from having change from the £200 spending money you give her to drawing more and more out then I would be looking at what is happening more closely.

You say you 'Give her £200 spending money', is this because she cant really handle her banking? If she is still mentally ok and manages money on her own why the need for you to allow her £200?

I would also be concerned about why a taxi driver is taking her round the shops. Most taxi driver I know cant wait to get someone dropped off and move on to the next fare. Some barely have time to put a bag in the taxi for the customer let alone go in the supermarket with her.  That to me is the biggest red flag.

Just noticed from one of your previous threads that you were acting on the POA back in 2023 dealing with the bank for your mother.
 So does your mum have capacity to act for herself or not?

KxMx

Worth further investigation yes but OP says parent has always been generous. 

Taxi driver could have put a waiting time clock on for taking her round the supermarket, and added this cost onto the total fare with milage. 

Occasionally I'll get a taxi home with one stop on way to collect something such as laundry (I use a dry cleaner over winter for bulky items), and this is the procedure I use.

As long as she isn't being taken advantage of I don't see the harm, she is keeping herself mentally and physically active, my Mum has gone the opposite way and it's heartbreaking. 

p00hsticks

Scotbot said:

Thanks for the replies, I  accept it's her money and her choice how to spend it.

Going forward if I  feel she is losing capacity does anyone know how I go about getting that confirmed? Who do I contact,  is it social services,

I think your first point of call would be her GP, who could refer her to a memory clinic. You say you have financial POA, do you also have the health and welfare one that her GP would probably ask for to allow you to speak to them ? 

KxMx

Health & welfare POA can only be activated when capacity is lost. 

OP can still have a one way conversation with her GP to express their concerns. 

Scotbot

swingaloo said:

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You say you 'Give her £200 spending money', is this because she cant really handle her banking? If she is still mentally ok and manages money on her own why the need for you to allow her £200?

I would also be concerned about why a taxi driver is taking her round the shops. Most taxi driver I know cant wait to get someone dropped off and move on to the next fare. Some barely have time to put a bag in the taxi for the customer let alone go in the supermarket with her.  That to me is the biggest red flag.

Just noticed from one of your previous threads that you were acting on the POA back in 2023 dealing with the bank for your mother.
 So does your mum have capacity to act for herself or not?

The taxi driver said the fare included waiting time. It was the middle of the day so I  doubt there were many fares waiting .

In term of her capacity when it comes to money she has always let someone else do it, previously my dad. She has never done telephone banking let alone online but that is a refusal to get engaged with technology not due to capacity.  

She is forgetful but has no problem with word puzzles or basic arithmetic and I  think she would score pretty well on the MMSE at the moment.  I am familiar with cognitive assessment  and occasionally slip the odd question in.  This may change but for now not worth pushing for assessment 

@KxMx sorry to hear about  your mum

KxMx

I really appreciate your kindness 🙂

Several years ago a few of us tried to tell Mum how dangerous inactivity in her position was, unfortunately she didn't want to know, while the current sad state of affairs was predictable I didn't ever think it would be quite so bad, impact my own health so much nor happen so soon - she's 68 and I'm biding my time to raise the subject of a nursing home, which she will be unable to self fund. 

GDB2222

swingaloo said:

I think we are being a bit harsh on the OP who clearly has concerns. I would be the same if it were my parent. We often see threads about someone being scammed and the response is always 'where were the family'. 
I would be concerned if this was a new thing that has started happening. If she has always spent easily and this is just a slight increase then I woudnt be to worried but if she has gone from having change from the £200 spending money you give her to drawing more and more out then I would be looking at what is happening more closely.

You say you 'Give her £200 spending money', is this because she cant really handle her banking? If she is still mentally ok and manages money on her own why the need for you to allow her £200?

I would also be concerned about why a taxi driver is taking her round the shops. Most taxi driver I know cant wait to get someone dropped off and move on to the next fare. Some barely have time to put a bag in the taxi for the customer let alone go in the supermarket with her.  That to me is the biggest red flag.

Just noticed from one of your previous threads that you were acting on the POA back in 2023 dealing with the bank for your mother.
 So does your mum have capacity to act for herself or not?

It doesn't strike me that the taxi driver is a red flag. At least, that's assuming he wasn't lying about the £20 fare. Even if he gets a £10 tip on top, that's not big money for what is probably the best part of an hour of his time. 

At age 94, mum has a 14% chance of reaching 100, according to national average stats. But, that's probably an underestimate, as she is probably more able than most 94 year olds. If she carries on spending £15k more a year than her income, she will still have a bit left of her £100k savings by the time she is 100. 

Scotbot

KxMx said:

I really appreciate your kindness 🙂

Several years ago a few of us tried to tell Mum how dangerous inactivity in her position was, unfortunately she didn't want to know, while the current sad state of affairs was predictable I didn't ever think it would be quite so bad, impact my own health so much nor happen so soon - she's 68 and I'm biding my time to raise the subject of a nursing home, which she will be unable to self fund. 

Oh dear, 68 is no age to be considering a nursing home. As others have commented I should stop dwelling on my mothers supermarket spending and be glad she can still get there...

GDB2222

Scotbot said:

KxMx said:

I really appreciate your kindness 🙂

Several years ago a few of us tried to tell Mum how dangerous inactivity in her position was, unfortunately she didn't want to know, while the current sad state of affairs was predictable I didn't ever think it would be quite so bad, impact my own health so much nor happen so soon - she's 68 and I'm biding my time to raise the subject of a nursing home, which she will be unable to self fund. 

Oh dear, 68 is no age to be considering a nursing home. As others have commented I should stop dwelling on my mothers supermarket spending and be glad she can still get there...

I have to say that your mum sounds truly wonderful! 

GDB2222

When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn’t go, and doesn’t suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we’ve no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I’m tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick the flowers in other people’s gardens
And learn to spit.

You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
And eat three pounds of sausages at a go
Or only bread and pickle for a week
And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.

But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
And pay our rent and not swear in the street
And set a good example for the children.
We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.

But maybe I ought to practise a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.