Career break regrets

graeme16

Hi, 

Degree qualified mid-30's male having been in a decent paying profession (oil & gas) for 12 years with 5 YO son and 2 YO daughter. Partner (mum) not working following Covid drama and I commute 70 mins each way to work. Enough saved to take some time off (£175k in savings. Similar in DC pension). Had a motorhome for past 12 months and really have the urge to jack and take 1-2 years out to travel with the kids...

Anyone done anything similar and regretted it? Or do people think I'm stupid for not jumping at the opportunity?

Emmia

I think the question is why you want to do it?

Have you had enough of the commute? (Would it be better if you moved closer to work, or got a new (different) job)
Do you think it will give your partner / you a new lease of life?
To escape some other "problems" perhaps with your relationship or something else?
Just because you can?

One of your kids is 5 and so would be at school, and the other is 2 and so would be heading to reception and school in a couple of years. What's your plan to ensure they won't be behind their peers educationally when you return?

I'm not a dad (or a parent), but think I'd consider whether it's the idea of travel that you want, or whether there is something else driving this.
 
Problems have a habit of following you even if you travel in an attempt to leave them behind.

Edit: I also think there's a bit of "romance" in your idea of jacking it in, and hitting the road. I suspect four people (two of whom are young children) in a motorhome for weeks/months on end might end up being a bit of a pressure cooker. Your idea of how it will be, and the reality may be very, very different... 

How keen is your partner to do this?

MyRealNameToo

graeme16 said:

Degree qualified mid-30's male having been in a decent paying profession (oil & gas) for 12 years with 5 YO son and 2 YO daughter. Partner (mum) not working following Covid drama and I commute 70 mins each way to work. Enough saved to take some time off (£175k in savings. Similar in DC pension). Had a motorhome for past 12 months and really have the urge to jack and take 1-2 years out to travel with the kids...

Anyone done anything similar and regretted it? Or do people think I'm stupid for not jumping at the opportunity?

No one has a crystal ball that can perfectly predict the future. There will be some who have done it and have aspects of regrets, there will be some that have done it and have little regrets and there will be many who are envious. 

A colleague took a years break, their employers allowed up to 1 year without resignation, but part way through the trip they made him redundant. He was an older bloke though and his late teens/early 20s kids were coming out for bits of the trip not the whole trip. 

He regretted it both ways... he regretted it was only 12 months, if he had known he wouldnt have a job to come back to he'd have gone longer but 12 months was the limit without having to quite the job. When he did come back he struggled to get replacement job and effectively forced into an early retirement having already blown a lot of his savings. He had a reasonable DB pension so far from all being lost but he'd hoped for another 5 years of heavy contribution to pensions and savings which didnt materialise so his retirement has been more frugal than he'd hoped. 

What are your plans on education? 

Savvy_Sue

As well as all the above, I'm wondering what your wife thinks of the idea? 

In a roundabout way DH gave up a very well paying job with excellent prospects to work with a bunch of friends on a project which meant moving across the country - the boys were 7, 9 and 12 when we did this. It meant I had to go back to work f/t which I hadn't done since before they were born. 

That period came to an end after about 18 months, and he took up a f/t job in a completely different line of work, so I tried to go p/t. That didn't prove possible without changing jobs, so I managed to find a 'school hours' job. Once they were all at secondary school I changed to a four day week of longer days, which suited me much better. 

We don't have any regrets, although the final salary pension would have been amazing had he stayed in that original line of work!

Spendless

How easily would you find work in your field on your return?

Id consider that along with living in small.shared space for a prolonged time and your wife's health issues.

Travelling is wonderful for education and broadening experiences and the mind. Youd be able to find educational resources for eldest to do whilst away  and at age  7-8 on your return if behind there's plenty of time to catch up. The youngest would only be on the brink of starting school aged 4/5. Its not like theyre on the brink of GCSEs when Id have probably given a completely different answer. 

Id list your pros and cons and see if you can come with a solution for any cons

Emmia

It doesn't necessarily need to be an all or nothing situation.

Could you perhaps take a couple of months off work, and do a longer motorhome trip than just a two week holiday?

This could give you a good break from your job, an opportunity to travel further afield giving you the reset you feel you need, but with less risk to employment and schooling for your kids. 

Pollycat

Savvy_Sue said:

As well as all the above, I'm wondering what your wife thinks of the idea? 

Me too....

Emmia

I think this is one of those threads started, and where the OP never responds again

MyRealNameToo

Savvy_Sue said:

As well as all the above, I'm wondering what your wife thinks of the idea? 

In a roundabout way DH gave up a very well paying job with excellent prospects to work with a bunch of friends on a project which meant moving across the country - the boys were 7, 9 and 12 when we did this. It meant I had to go back to work f/t which I hadn't done since before they were born. 

Did he talk to you about it beforehand?

My father did similar other than the first thing my mother new about it was when he came home in a taxi rather than the 2 month old company car he'd had saying he'd quit and was starting a company with mates. The problem was that one was a sales guy, one was an accountant and dad was the only one that could actually provide the services. 

Mother had to get two jobs to make ends meet as they built the business up and naturally when he became ill and couldn't work the company went down the pan given they had no one to actually provide the services. When he died it also turned out he'd been cancelling insurance to save money and been taking out loans (some in her name) to build up our lifestyle after she'd gotten annoyed that holidays were now borrowing an aging caravan etc. 

Savvy_Sue

MyRealNameToo said:

Savvy_Sue said:

As well as all the above, I'm wondering what your wife thinks of the idea? 

In a roundabout way DH gave up a very well paying job with excellent prospects to work with a bunch of friends on a project which meant moving across the country - the boys were 7, 9 and 12 when we did this. It meant I had to go back to work f/t which I hadn't done since before they were born. 

Did he talk to you about it beforehand?

My father did similar other than the first thing my mother new about it was when he came home in a taxi rather than the 2 month old company car he'd had saying he'd quit and was starting a company with mates. The problem was that one was a sales guy, one was an accountant and dad was the only one that could actually provide the services. 

Mother had to get two jobs to make ends meet as they built the business up and naturally when he became ill and couldn't work the company went down the pan given they had no one to actually provide the services. When he died it also turned out he'd been cancelling insurance to save money and been taking out loans (some in her name) to build up our lifestyle after she'd gotten annoyed that holidays were now borrowing an aging caravan etc. 

Oh my goodness yes, we talked about it! And I was up for it. 

We thought we'd be going 'oop north', but that didn't work out and we could see it wouldn't before we'd got as far as looking at houses etc. 

So I got a phone call at work from one of his friends asking how I'd feel about the southwest instead. Didn't worry me: we're both Londoners and I thought the upside would be that they wouldn't offend their grandparents by picking up northern accents. Mind you, the youngest had a few broad 'aarr' moments. He's fine now. (Please accept these as not entirely serious comments. I can't help that I was born on the right side of the only river which matters.)

I guess it helped that DH was clearly unhappy. He'd been screwed over in a previous job (finish complex project, grand launch, here's your redundancy notice) and not found it easy to find a suitable job within easy commuting distance after that, so I couldn't see much point in suggesting he should find a new job where we were. 

sheramber

OP hasn’t logged on since 12/8. So doesn’t  appear to want any input to his plans or didn’t like any he read.