What's fair in terms of £ when I move into my husband's inherited family home?

MEM62

oneneedstocleartheattic said:

Thanks for your POV.
Do the following clarifications change your steer at all?
* Our wills allow me to stay on in the inherited house until I die, if my husband predeceases me.
* My husband lived in my house, before we got hitched, for years and paid me a modest rent which I used to pay off my mortgage faster. Any renovations, upgrades, maintenance were my financial responsibility.
* The queries around controlling and coercive behaviour? You're barking up the wrong tree. Everything we do is 50/50: work, parenting, etc. Moving into this inherited house is the first time that equitableness will no longer reign - hence my reaching out for fresh ideas and wisdom.
I am striving for fairness. I don't want to be a freeloader. But I also don't want to be a mug either.
My husband has no expectation for me to contribute to the renovation costs but realistically, it needs a shedload doing and I don't want to live in a time warp house for two decades while he does it bit by bit as he can afford it.

You are married but separate your wealth.  You allude that what is mine and what is his.  That is a business arrangement, not a marriage.  In our home I do not have assets and my wife does not have assets - we have assets.  I do not have an income and my wife does not have an income - we have an income.  We do not have yours and mine, only ours.   

You appear to be running your finances worrying about what is 'fair'.  That should not even be a consideration.      

Mark_d

oneneedstocleartheattic said:

We have a pre and post nup in place outlining what's mine is mine, what's his is his and what's ours is ours.
In due course my husband will inherit his mortgage free family home from his parents. It's habitable but needs a six figure sum spending on it to bring it up to scratch. There may not be enough inherited money to pay for that.
This is my husband's sole asset and he intends to leave it to our son in due course. I'm cool with all of that.
Because of this inherited home which we will all live in we can sell our current home and put it into our pensions. This is a huge financial benefit to both of us and will basically pay for our retirement.
My family have nothing so can't leave anything - there's a huge family wealth disparity. 
My question is:
* What is fair in terms of my financial contribution to the household? I don't expect to live there free of charge. Do I pay £500 PCM and it pays towards utilities/council tax etc?
* What is the wisdom of putting a five figure chunk of money (from sale of current home) to spend on upgrading the inherited house with my husband matching me penny for penny with his contribution? 
Be grateful for insight, wisdom and lived experience from the hive mind on here.
Thanks in advance,

There is, and always has been, a huge wealth disparity between my partner and I.

When we got married, or entire lives and possessions are technically jointly owned, however we still maintain our individuality.  So it's my sole decision on whether I spend my money on a new iPhone; we split restaurant bills 50:50, the TV in the study is mine but other TV's are jointly owned etc.

If I were you I'd share joint bills such as utilities, council tax but I wouldn't invest in an asset that ultimately belongs to your husband