Starting the journey...the road is currently bumpy.

honeybee1234

Please be compassionate towards yourself. I've been reading and I fully understand the feelings of shame so don't feel alone in that - I'm sure many people on here can relate.

I know it sounds cliché but what's done is done, everyday life can be stressful, full of pressures from all directions and the spending of money we can't afford is for many purposes within that. Be kind to you, acknowledge you did what you could to get through the day/week and then look at now and look forward. You're working on it and that's a really strong move because you could still be in the thick of it. Give yourself a high five and harness that forward momentum, you're doing really well! 

Humdinger1

There's a whole industry just to get people into debt and keep them there! You've seen the light- keep going, you're doing brilliantly love Humdinger xx 

SpaceCadet12

Thank you for taking the time to stop and read and write.  Im going to keep up withe this diary through my journey as I know it will help stay on track and focussed through the ups and the downs. 

SpaceCadet12

We are heading to the end of February and things seem to be settling. DMP is running smoothly I think.

Zopa have sent me a couple of letters, but the great advice from this group they are automated not personal. they feel a little more threatening than other Companies. The rest have stopped sending letters and interest has stopped so finally I can see an end point. 4 years, 4 months.

Positives: Selling on Vinted, so building up for £ for Christmas and making space in my home!, Looking into a little business with a friend - wont make me a millionaire but we should make a little between us.

Mortgage: still have 3 years left on my fixed rate, with 15 years to go.

Have been feeling more positive this month, no debt can not be solves - Ive made a start, talking to my dad has really helped, he has been perfect support.

I really wan to try and sort our phone contracts, I pay for mine and hubbys phone, both SIM only now - but the phones are starting to die and my son will need a phone soon….any advice?

Humdinger1

Well done @SpaceCadet12! You're getting into the new normal. Not sure re phones; could SIM only work? It might be that you've paid more than the phone cost as some contracts keep payments at the same level even when the handset is paid off. If so, you could point this out and get a refund. Onwards and upwards love Humdinger xx

SpaceCadet12

Thanks for replying Humdinger, nice that someone in the world is listening.

Year 1, Month 9 - I am living my new normal. I can still live, buy food, pay my bills and the rest and life has not ended. I go through moment of pure guilt and wanting to change the past which I obviously can not do, I need to make peace with myself and what is done is done. I am sure that will come in time.

The Step Change is solid, wish I had done it sooner and taken control sooner (here comes the guilt again) but I am on the right track. My dad has been brilliant, he keeps telling me he's proud that I made the decision to take control.

What I know it before I am 50 I will be debt free and in this time if for me to learn a nice life which does not rely on the never never…and credit. It will come and I will be free!

Dakota_Rose

This is a great way of looking at it. Life isn’t paused because of a DMP, it is a process of adjusting to living within your means and by the end of it, those means will be higher. Each month that passes, is a month closer to debt freedom 😊

SpaceCadet12

Year 1, Month 10.

Thanks to people who read or comment….having this diary is really important for me to just keep reflecting, remembering I am doing the right thing and it is all ok

Quite a few of my debts have been sold to one agency - PRA? I wonder if they could combine it into one, the combine the payments they get from the DMP? Is that worth exploring?

I went the races last night, for a night out with friends, budgeted £20 cash to have a little flutter (never done it before) and came away with £70! Which was nice, a little cash in my purse towards the end of the month and will be able to sort the deposit for my sons residential with school next year.

End of the month can get a little close depending whats been going on! Could do with things being a little quieter.

SpaceCadet12

My personal update. How do people live? I am in a blessed position where even with by bill and debt payment I have left a decent amount but life is still tight. I am so trying to be more sensible but the end of the month comes and I am struggling so need to analyse this more.

When does the guilt stop? the anger with myself? I look at my life and I should be in such a different position, at 46 with a great job things should be so much easier - I get so mad at myself.

More debts sold to PRA, everything is going down and my credit score went up, only slightly - which is shocking so I am now above the UK average, only just.

ArtyJ931

re-look at your budget and see if it needs tweaking. I put aside all of my months day to day spends in a pot and pay myself out of it weekly on a Friday. This helps hugely for me in budgeting as I’m not very good at managing the abstract big amount in one lump at the beginning of the month and would also be left with nothing by the end!