Starting the journey...the road is currently bumpy.

SpaceCadet12

4 months in to my Step Change and things feel a lot lighter - I am i a good routine, the money leaves my account and I am not worrying about which bill is coming next as the lump sum is gone and I know where I am with whats left over. 

One of my Barclays accounts has been sold on, the letter was reasonable and didn't scare the life our of me and the balance was £1000 lower than what I thought, so that was a little bonus I guess. 

Although I feel like there is always something going on which I need to pay for, and this next two months with Birthdays and Christmas but am feeling confident that this will be the first Christmas I have not relied on credit, I have been better at shopping around, looking for deals buying slowly and not over buying.  As I am guilty of wanting my son to have an abundance of presents - often crap that does not last. 

I also have always been the friend that will pay for others.....really thinking carefully about that now and not being that person.   

Anyways feeling a little less stressed and into a routine that works.....Can I keep it up? 

Scott_Weiland79

Stepchange are brilliant i would ring them and just get some figures together first ie a mini budget and just be honest with them.

Dont bury your head in the sand if you are struggling.

I was on a debt management plan for it started at 6 years from memory but with payrises/overtime/decluttering/surveys i got it cleared quicker.


I had 15-20 debts at one point which managing myself was a nightmare.

Being honest with yourself is important too, think where do you wanna be financially in a few years.

Posting here is a big step, step change step 2 😄

Scott_Weiland79

Blackcats said:

I wanted to pop by and say that you shouldn't feel ashamed - this is debt free diary land and none of us are here because we've always been good with money 🙃.  However, lots of people here are further on their journey than you and their advice, support, encouragement, hints & tips will really help you as you progress towards 2030.  My nuggets of advice for what they are worth are to be kind to yourself, keep focussed on all the little spends and update your diary regularly to keep yourself on track and to chart your progress.  

Totally agree with this I wasnt but i have learned from it and never again.

One little golden nugget, if you get the direct problem again. You mentioned something about a direct debit eating your disposable income.

If this happens again most banks can recall a direct on the day it goes through, or upto 24hours later they can do a late recall. 

Humdinger1

Please don't feel ashamed.   The Queen Mother was reportedly £4 million overdrawn when she died.  Why should any of us feel bad? You're tackling it and doing brilliantly!  Love Humdinger xx 

SpaceCadet12

time to update and reflect.  

Had a few phone calls and need to just be brave and answer them.  Step Change has been great, I have not missed a payment but I feel like at the moment I can not see an end.   It has a time limit on it, but I for some reason can not see that coming.  Life seems to move so quickly with other things....was it 5 years since this happened or that happened but with this it seems like the end will never come.   But then I am also 6 months in...

I want to get to a point where I do not think about money all the time, I am going round in circles saying what if and I should not have spent that and it eats me up....this is what I need to let go of.   

Big thing is my Options has ended and its time for me to get a new car, which of course I am not doing - I have convinced my family I love my little run around and I am waiting to see if I want something new.   Just need to contact Ford and get my them to switch over to the loan - which I hope they will do, I wont be borrowing anymore money just will not be upgrading and to be fair the options on offer are SO EXPENSIVE even if I was not in this pickle I would not be getting one. 

I am happy this Christmas I have not over spent.  But got a few bills to sort out....sons PGL trip payment. 

I am hoping I can sort a few extra £ in 2026

SpaceCadet12

So a curve ball which I did not expect and its causing my stress levels to hit the roof. 

Got my car on options - its not included in my DMP as my husband and I pay for it out of my joint account.  No defaults.  The deal ends in April...I obviously cant afford to trade it in, I can tgo and get a different deal, some leasing is cheaper than I am paying now but I cant get that so will have to find a way to complete the final payment.

This is where the shame hits me again, i am so embarassed I have a good job and should have a large amount of disposable income and this should not even be something I am worried about.  The shame has hit me hard, it is the first time I have cried and I feel I have no where to turn.   My family are all so proud of me and I am supposed to be the one who has it all together, my husband has never questioned where the money came from from some holidays.  

I need a solution, I will find one....I was starting to relax and then this creeps up.

Wishing I could go back and tell my younger self to stop....to be fair is has been 10 years creating and should only take 5 years to undo......

right...off to find car loans 

Humdinger1

@SpaceCadet12 up to you, but I think given the length of your journey, DH is going to need to know about the situation.   You can reassure him that you have a plan.  Why should you have to carry this alone? As far as the rest of the family is concerned, they're proud of who you are, surely, as I'm sure DH is? You don't need to tell them details, if you want to say anything, you could just talk about having a LBM and deciding to save more. You'll get there.  Love Humdinger xx

SpaceCadet12

Thank you for your kind words.  Im not sure why I cant tell him, its a shame thing - feeling like Ive let everyone down thing.    I thought everything would just plod along, Id make my payments and everyone would be happy or none the wiser. LOL. 

Couple of letters came today, freaked me out - massively - i need to send them to step change to see what I need to do.  Its hard as some creditors are reasonable and their letters kind, I know they don't have to be kind but you feel ok after they arrive but others feels frightening and scary that people are going to be banging on your door and demanding payments.   

Step Change has been great I am paying a lot and never missed yet (and I hope I wont!) but I feel I need more clarity of what to expect, what to worry about and what is a formality.  Since reading this forum I did not wait for my accounts to default which seems to be the better way of doing it.   

SpaceCadet12

This week has been dreadful, a hard week in work and panic - I broke and shared with my dad.  The response was not what I expected, he was so understanding and proud of me for taking the right steps with Step change.  Knowing that he and my sister know really helps, although the shame is still weighing heavy.   I keep saying to myself, 10 years in the making , 5 years to fix (4.5 to go).  

SCARY THINGS
Default letters and letters from companies scare me.  Some are kind and supportive, keep up with your DMP and all will fine - others are demanding and statements about court and CCJ and other things. 

POSITIVE THINGS
My credit score graph of my debt going down keeps me positive that the end will come - eventually. 
Ive made a start Ive taken my head out the sand and made a plan and commitment. 

This diary will help....and anyone who comments, thank you!

Dakota_Rose

I’m pretty new to the forum but for what it’s worth, I think you are doing incredibly well and approaching your situation so intentionally. I feel for you with the stress you are carrying though. I too am the main/higher earner in our household and it can be a lot of pressure at times, particularly when work is tough. 

I really believe in the adage ‘a problem shared is a problem halved’. It’s great that you have shared with loved ones now and hopefully the reaction you have had will perhaps open the door for you to speak to your husband too. Either way, you have a real-life outlet to speak about the challenges now. 

I have also found if something is going to unexpectedly tip my budget or savings plans, it will always be a blooming car!