Starting the journey...the road is currently bumpy.

SpaceCadet12

My debt has always been there, nothing major - the odd holiday on 0% which is dutifully paid off then rinse and repeat.   Then things changed, 5 years ago I lost my mum to Cancer - she loved life and was taken too young.  From this my attitude changed, holidays booked, things bought, paying for friends - I wanted to live in case it was all taken away too soon.  I believed I was buying memories - which to some extent it was but it has finally caught up.  0% has run out, and payments have caught me up to an embarassing £70k - I cant even tell you where it went, but no matter what it happned and here I am.   

I feel massive shame in allowing this to happen, I am a hardworking person and believe it or not you would not see a person who lives some exrtravanet lifestyle - just our trips and holidays which fell to me as I am the significanly higher earner and I realise that and sometimes feel guilty for it.  

This is my dirty little secret.

My first step was to look at an IVA, the first call was reassuring and friendly as I set my budget and realised I would never get out of this spiral of debt.  The second call the person at the end of the phone was aggressive and forceful - alarm bells rang and I thought this is not for me.  This is where I have found StepChange who have set up and are supporting my DMP. 

Month 1 - I forget to cancel two of my DDs so my surplus money is gone and htings are really tight (not for the creditors who got my DD and an extra payment lol)

Month 2 - All DDs are now cancelled and my second payment has just left my account. 

My next steps:
* Settle into the DMP, monthly budget checking - where can I make savings, overspending?
* Irresponsible lending - definaly going to look at that with my last two Zopa loans which I feel were given quite quickly with minimal checking. 

My worries:
* Barclaycard and MBNA are the only ones who have contacted regarding late payment. Saying I need to call them - they all have step change on their advice so can I just email / write to them to state this?
* I want to keep this secret....just myself....I worry it will get out.  My husband knows I have CC but not the extent and knows I am trying to live more sensibly to get on top of things, \


What do I do now? Just settle and life my life? Wait for the knock at the door? 

One moment I feel at peace and in control, the next I feel like I am such a bad person and am going to lose everything. 

Hopefully 5 years to go!

kimwp

Hiya, five years is a long time to keep a secret and in general it's better to manage finances as a household, but that's up to you. 

Have you looked into arrangement to pay markers Vs defaults? The first stay on your credit record for six years after the debt is paid off, whereas the first stay for six years after being registered. Also while you wait for defaults (having stopped paying your debts), you can build up an emergency fund, which will be necessary as you won't have access to more credit for a while due to the impact of the arrangement to pay/defaults on your credit record. Stepchange won't want you to stay on their books while you don't pay and wait for defaults, but you can cancel with them and restart your dmp with another debt charity later (or just do it yourself).

Callum1510

kimwp said:

Hiya, five years is a long time to keep a secret and in general it's better to manage finances as a household, but that's up to you. 

Have you looked into arrangement to pay markers Vs defaults? The first stay on your credit record for six years after the debt is paid off, whereas the first stay for six years after being registered. Also while you wait for defaults (having stopped paying your debts), you can build up an emergency fund, which will be necessary as you won't have access to more credit for a while due to the impact of the arrangement to pay/defaults on your credit record. Stepchange won't want you to stay on their books while you don't pay and wait for defaults, but you can cancel with them and restart your dmp with another debt charity later (or just do it yourself).

Am I right in thinking defaults are better then ? I am currently awaiting default then once I have them will negotiate a payment direct with creditor. 

1stTimer

Welcome @SpaceCadet12 you are in good company here.

I agree with kimwp, it’s a long time to keep a secret you may need to be open with your husband? If you have joint accounts then it’s best to him as it could affect his credit rating also.

i went with Stepchange and they were brilliant, it really took a lot of the stress away for the 1st year or 2 as they dealt with everything on my behalf. The one thing I wish I’d known at the time that if I had come here I first I would have found out was to cancel all DD’s and not pay anything until defaults were registered.

use the money to put aside for an emergency fund or settlement offers later on. 

Paying before defaults just delays you getting a clean credit rating longer.