Do a lot of young people lack interpersonal skills in the workplace and life in general now?

Undervalued

Myci85 said:

EnPointe said:

Myci85 said:

I'm with you here. For a lot of people, you spend more time with your colleagues than anyone else, and getting along with them and being able to show an interest in each other's lives makes a workplace a far happier place to be. Most of the jobs I've been content in have not been so because of the job itself, but because I was working with people who I genuinely enjoyed spending time with.

If the PC way of treating colleagues these days is to show zero interest in them as a person, and speak only when it is necessary for the functioning of the workplace, for fear of someone misconstruing your intentions, that sounds like a very lonely way to spend your days. 

 You are , frankly, a Fantasist . 

 The fact you  have reacted like this suggests to me,as it would to many others who are or have been TU reps, Trainers  or Supervisors,  that you  feel that you are entitled to the friendship of your colleagues and feel that your parasocial interest  in them  ought to be  reciprocated and normalised. 

The fact you  use  the term 'PC'   dismiss the very basic tenets  of  Safe , respectful and includsive workplaces is a significant red flag.   

Not a fantasist, no red flags (I hate how much that term is bandied around these days but that probably is also a 'red flag'), I just appreciate a workplace that feels like a welcoming place where people enjoy spending time.

I don't feel 'entitled to the friendship of my colleagues', but I'm not going to treat them like strangers. There is a very big difference between showing an interest in someone as a person, and forcing yourself on someone inappropriately. We'll have a society where it is deemed inappropriate for kids to make friends at school before long. 

Whilst I am sure most people would agree with that in principle, no two people would draw the line in the same place. 

Tabieth

Undervalued said:

Myci85 said:

EnPointe said:

Myci85 said:

I'm with you here. For a lot of people, you spend more time with your colleagues than anyone else, and getting along with them and being able to show an interest in each other's lives makes a workplace a far happier place to be. Most of the jobs I've been content in have not been so because of the job itself, but because I was working with people who I genuinely enjoyed spending time with.

If the PC way of treating colleagues these days is to show zero interest in them as a person, and speak only when it is necessary for the functioning of the workplace, for fear of someone misconstruing your intentions, that sounds like a very lonely way to spend your days. 

 You are , frankly, a Fantasist . 

 The fact you  have reacted like this suggests to me,as it would to many others who are or have been TU reps, Trainers  or Supervisors,  that you  feel that you are entitled to the friendship of your colleagues and feel that your parasocial interest  in them  ought to be  reciprocated and normalised. 

The fact you  use  the term 'PC'   dismiss the very basic tenets  of  Safe , respectful and includsive workplaces is a significant red flag.   

Not a fantasist, no red flags (I hate how much that term is bandied around these days but that probably is also a 'red flag'), I just appreciate a workplace that feels like a welcoming place where people enjoy spending time.

I don't feel 'entitled to the friendship of my colleagues', but I'm not going to treat them like strangers. There is a very big difference between showing an interest in someone as a person, and forcing yourself on someone inappropriately. We'll have a society where it is deemed inappropriate for kids to make friends at school before long. 

Whilst I am sure most people would agree with that in principle, no two people would draw the line in the same place. 

Yes but most people will agree on what’s acceptable and what isn’t, even if their fine lines are drawn slightly differently. I doubt anyone would object to a work colleague saying “good morning” or asking “how was your weekend?” for example. The vast majority of people however would find it unacceptable if someone asked their colleagues about their sex lives or made racist jokes. 

It’s really not that difficult. Treat work colleagues in an open and friendly manner. Be sociable and interested in them without prying or treating them as you would a friend or family member. It’s possible (for people of any age) to behave well in the work place 

zagfles

Undervalued said:

Myci85 said:

EnPointe said:

Myci85 said:

I'm with you here. For a lot of people, you spend more time with your colleagues than anyone else, and getting along with them and being able to show an interest in each other's lives makes a workplace a far happier place to be. Most of the jobs I've been content in have not been so because of the job itself, but because I was working with people who I genuinely enjoyed spending time with.

If the PC way of treating colleagues these days is to show zero interest in them as a person, and speak only when it is necessary for the functioning of the workplace, for fear of someone misconstruing your intentions, that sounds like a very lonely way to spend your days. 

 You are , frankly, a Fantasist . 

 The fact you  have reacted like this suggests to me,as it would to many others who are or have been TU reps, Trainers  or Supervisors,  that you  feel that you are entitled to the friendship of your colleagues and feel that your parasocial interest  in them  ought to be  reciprocated and normalised. 

The fact you  use  the term 'PC'   dismiss the very basic tenets  of  Safe , respectful and includsive workplaces is a significant red flag.   

Not a fantasist, no red flags (I hate how much that term is bandied around these days but that probably is also a 'red flag'), I just appreciate a workplace that feels like a welcoming place where people enjoy spending time.

I don't feel 'entitled to the friendship of my colleagues', but I'm not going to treat them like strangers. There is a very big difference between showing an interest in someone as a person, and forcing yourself on someone inappropriately. We'll have a society where it is deemed inappropriate for kids to make friends at school before long. 

Whilst I am sure most people would agree with that in principle, no two people would draw the line in the same place. 

Clearly not. I've managed to survive nearly 4 decades at various workplaces and I've never landed in "hot water" or raised "red flags" or been called a "Fantasist" or been accused of "harassment" for asking people about their weekend or how they are etc. If that kind of behaviour got me into trouble then I'd find a better workplace to work in.

I'm not walking on eggshells at work, or in any other environment. (oh and just to pre-empt strawmen, this doesn't mean I go round making racist jokes or sexually harassing people, for those incapable of discussion without using ridiculously exaggerated strawmen).  

lincroft1710

If there was no social interaction allowed between work colleagues then I can think of at least 7 marriages that wouldn't have happened, plus numerous affaires

Largs

I read the 1st page of this and switched off.  Drivel of the day.

EnPointe

lincroft1710 said:

If there was no social interaction allowed between work colleagues then I can think of at least 7 marriages that wouldn't have happened, plus numerous affaires

ooh look a Strawman 

EnPointe

zagfles said:

Undervalued said:

Myci85 said:

EnPointe said:

Myci85 said:

I'm with you here. For a lot of people, you spend more time with your colleagues than anyone else, and getting along with them and being able to show an interest in each other's lives makes a workplace a far happier place to be. Most of the jobs I've been content in have not been so because of the job itself, but because I was working with people who I genuinely enjoyed spending time with.

If the PC way of treating colleagues these days is to show zero interest in them as a person, and speak only when it is necessary for the functioning of the workplace, for fear of someone misconstruing your intentions, that sounds like a very lonely way to spend your days. 

 You are , frankly, a Fantasist . 

 The fact you  have reacted like this suggests to me,as it would to many others who are or have been TU reps, Trainers  or Supervisors,  that you  feel that you are entitled to the friendship of your colleagues and feel that your parasocial interest  in them  ought to be  reciprocated and normalised. 

The fact you  use  the term 'PC'   dismiss the very basic tenets  of  Safe , respectful and includsive workplaces is a significant red flag.   

Not a fantasist, no red flags (I hate how much that term is bandied around these days but that probably is also a 'red flag'), I just appreciate a workplace that feels like a welcoming place where people enjoy spending time.

I don't feel 'entitled to the friendship of my colleagues', but I'm not going to treat them like strangers. There is a very big difference between showing an interest in someone as a person, and forcing yourself on someone inappropriately. We'll have a society where it is deemed inappropriate for kids to make friends at school before long. 

Whilst I am sure most people would agree with that in principle, no two people would draw the line in the same place. 

Clearly not. I've managed to survive nearly 4 decades at various workplaces and I've never landed in "hot water" or raised "red flags" or been called a "Fantasist" or been accused of "harassment" for asking people about their weekend or how they are etc. If that kind of behaviour got me into trouble then I'd find a better workplace to work in.

I'm not walking on eggshells at work, or in any other environment. (oh and just to pre-empt strawmen, this doesn't mean I go round making racist jokes or sexually harassing people, for those incapable of discussion without using ridiculously exaggerated strawmen).  

 the fact is that could change tomorrow, doubly so if it;s  been pointed out to you   that there is a Respect at work policy and  that in some  circumstances these 'young workers'  there is a Safeguarding aspect   e.g. 16 -19  year old apprentices , and  under 18 casuals / part timers 

zagfles

EnPointe said:

zagfles said:

Undervalued said:

Myci85 said:

EnPointe said:

Myci85 said:

I'm with you here. For a lot of people, you spend more time with your colleagues than anyone else, and getting along with them and being able to show an interest in each other's lives makes a workplace a far happier place to be. Most of the jobs I've been content in have not been so because of the job itself, but because I was working with people who I genuinely enjoyed spending time with.

If the PC way of treating colleagues these days is to show zero interest in them as a person, and speak only when it is necessary for the functioning of the workplace, for fear of someone misconstruing your intentions, that sounds like a very lonely way to spend your days. 

 You are , frankly, a Fantasist . 

 The fact you  have reacted like this suggests to me,as it would to many others who are or have been TU reps, Trainers  or Supervisors,  that you  feel that you are entitled to the friendship of your colleagues and feel that your parasocial interest  in them  ought to be  reciprocated and normalised. 

The fact you  use  the term 'PC'   dismiss the very basic tenets  of  Safe , respectful and includsive workplaces is a significant red flag.   

Not a fantasist, no red flags (I hate how much that term is bandied around these days but that probably is also a 'red flag'), I just appreciate a workplace that feels like a welcoming place where people enjoy spending time.

I don't feel 'entitled to the friendship of my colleagues', but I'm not going to treat them like strangers. There is a very big difference between showing an interest in someone as a person, and forcing yourself on someone inappropriately. We'll have a society where it is deemed inappropriate for kids to make friends at school before long. 

Whilst I am sure most people would agree with that in principle, no two people would draw the line in the same place. 

Clearly not. I've managed to survive nearly 4 decades at various workplaces and I've never landed in "hot water" or raised "red flags" or been called a "Fantasist" or been accused of "harassment" for asking people about their weekend or how they are etc. If that kind of behaviour got me into trouble then I'd find a better workplace to work in.

I'm not walking on eggshells at work, or in any other environment. (oh and just to pre-empt strawmen, this doesn't mean I go round making racist jokes or sexually harassing people, for those incapable of discussion without using ridiculously exaggerated strawmen).  

 the fact is that could change tomorrow, doubly so if it;s  been pointed out to you   that there is a Respect at work policy and  that in some  circumstances these 'young workers'  there is a Safeguarding aspect   e.g. 16 -19  year old apprentices , and  under 18 casuals / part timers 

No it won't. And if it did I've leave anyway. I'd rather be unemployed than work in an environment where people like you try to bully me into being a corporate drone. As it is I can afford to retire, work are desperate to keep me, I act the way I want to act and no HR, management or TU rep will change me. 

That's not to say I'm deliberately obnoxious or offensive, I've worked with people with all sorts of personalities, all shades of political opinions, people with mental health problems, people who are annoying/boring/attention seeking etc, but mostly really nice friendly people. Never had any real problems with any of them, it's been a good learning experience in how to deal with different sorts of people. 

Undervalued

Tabieth said:

Undervalued said:

Myci85 said:

EnPointe said:

Myci85 said:

I'm with you here. For a lot of people, you spend more time with your colleagues than anyone else, and getting along with them and being able to show an interest in each other's lives makes a workplace a far happier place to be. Most of the jobs I've been content in have not been so because of the job itself, but because I was working with people who I genuinely enjoyed spending time with.

If the PC way of treating colleagues these days is to show zero interest in them as a person, and speak only when it is necessary for the functioning of the workplace, for fear of someone misconstruing your intentions, that sounds like a very lonely way to spend your days. 

 You are , frankly, a Fantasist . 

 The fact you  have reacted like this suggests to me,as it would to many others who are or have been TU reps, Trainers  or Supervisors,  that you  feel that you are entitled to the friendship of your colleagues and feel that your parasocial interest  in them  ought to be  reciprocated and normalised. 

The fact you  use  the term 'PC'   dismiss the very basic tenets  of  Safe , respectful and includsive workplaces is a significant red flag.   

Not a fantasist, no red flags (I hate how much that term is bandied around these days but that probably is also a 'red flag'), I just appreciate a workplace that feels like a welcoming place where people enjoy spending time.

I don't feel 'entitled to the friendship of my colleagues', but I'm not going to treat them like strangers. There is a very big difference between showing an interest in someone as a person, and forcing yourself on someone inappropriately. We'll have a society where it is deemed inappropriate for kids to make friends at school before long. 

Whilst I am sure most people would agree with that in principle, no two people would draw the line in the same place. 

Yes but most people will agree on what’s acceptable and what isn’t, even if their fine lines are drawn slightly differently. I doubt anyone would object to a work colleague saying “good morning” or asking “how was your weekend?” for example. The vast majority of people however would find it unacceptable if someone asked their colleagues about their sex lives or made racist jokes. 

It’s really not that difficult. Treat work colleagues in an open and friendly manner. Be sociable and interested in them without prying or treating them as you would a friend or family member. It’s possible (for people of any age) to behave well in the work place 

I think there are an awful lot of "fine lines" in-between the two sentences I have highlighted. I certainly agree about the two extremes but I can recall a couple of colleagues who would regularly be somewhere in the middle in a way that I found irritating and intrusive. They clearly thought this was OK, I didn't and I wasn't alone. Largely, for the sake of a peaceful life, we put up with it. However, why should we have to?

zagfles

Undervalued said:

Tabieth said:

Undervalued said:

Myci85 said:

EnPointe said:

Myci85 said:

I'm with you here. For a lot of people, you spend more time with your colleagues than anyone else, and getting along with them and being able to show an interest in each other's lives makes a workplace a far happier place to be. Most of the jobs I've been content in have not been so because of the job itself, but because I was working with people who I genuinely enjoyed spending time with.

If the PC way of treating colleagues these days is to show zero interest in them as a person, and speak only when it is necessary for the functioning of the workplace, for fear of someone misconstruing your intentions, that sounds like a very lonely way to spend your days. 

 You are , frankly, a Fantasist . 

 The fact you  have reacted like this suggests to me,as it would to many others who are or have been TU reps, Trainers  or Supervisors,  that you  feel that you are entitled to the friendship of your colleagues and feel that your parasocial interest  in them  ought to be  reciprocated and normalised. 

The fact you  use  the term 'PC'   dismiss the very basic tenets  of  Safe , respectful and includsive workplaces is a significant red flag.   

Not a fantasist, no red flags (I hate how much that term is bandied around these days but that probably is also a 'red flag'), I just appreciate a workplace that feels like a welcoming place where people enjoy spending time.

I don't feel 'entitled to the friendship of my colleagues', but I'm not going to treat them like strangers. There is a very big difference between showing an interest in someone as a person, and forcing yourself on someone inappropriately. We'll have a society where it is deemed inappropriate for kids to make friends at school before long. 

Whilst I am sure most people would agree with that in principle, no two people would draw the line in the same place. 

Yes but most people will agree on what’s acceptable and what isn’t, even if their fine lines are drawn slightly differently. I doubt anyone would object to a work colleague saying “good morning” or asking “how was your weekend?” for example. The vast majority of people however would find it unacceptable if someone asked their colleagues about their sex lives or made racist jokes. 

It’s really not that difficult. Treat work colleagues in an open and friendly manner. Be sociable and interested in them without prying or treating them as you would a friend or family member. It’s possible (for people of any age) to behave well in the work place 

I think there are an awful lot of "fine lines" in-between the two sentences I have highlighted. I certainly agree about the two extremes but I can recall a couple of colleagues who would regularly be somewhere in the middle in a way that I found irritating and intrusive. They clearly thought this was OK, I didn't and I wasn't alone. Largely, for the sake of a peaceful life, we put up with it. However, why should we have to?

Did you tell them? A lot of people don't have the emotional intelligence to realise they're being annoying or intrusive. Of course some simply don't care. There are always a few people like that. Some will just bang on for ages about about rubbish you're not interested in and not get the cues that you're not interested or have other stuff to do, some will get judgmental about stuff you get up to outside of work, for instance I travel a lot and we had one guy who was very judgemental about that (I ended up simply telling him I'm not interested in his opinion on what I get up to outside work and now just refuse to engage with him on anything not strictly work related). We had a colleague who was a Conservative councilor, he never spoke about politics in work but he often got snide comments which he was always dignified enough not to rise to. 

We did do a diversity course at work where employees were encouraged to "be themselves" at work and not be scared to discuss what they up to outside work, and to accept and value differences in others without judgement, including sexuality, culture, religion, interests, attitudes, political opinions etc. So for instance if someone said "good weekend, what did you get up to?" nobody should be afraid to say "I went to Church", or "I went to Gay Pride" or "I went to Berlin", or "I went to the Tory conference" or "I went on a protest march", and others with different religions/attitudes/political opinions should be accepting of differences and not judgmental.