Neighbour attaching trellis to my wall (more detailed than it sounds)

baz8755

LightFlare said:

So you bought some panels to put up but didn’t so not to aggravate him.
He put trellis up and now you are annoyed because suddenly, now you decide you actually want to put your panels up.
How long were you going to wait to put your panels up as it seems odd that you decide to do so now of all times

I bought and cut the panels in April 2024 but given he was being quite unsociable at the time we decided not to poke the bear.

We did not decide to put them up now but seeing as he has obviously indicated he wants to block us out then it seems a good to put ours up.

The point is that if we wanted to do anything that affected our neighbours property we would seek approval, if he had done so then we would have informed him of our plan and probably said he can put his trellis on our wall as long as it does not impact our plans for our wall.

As it stands he has put something on our wall without permission and it stops us doing work we had planned

Nothing odd about having plans for our own property or seeing that he has now prevented it. 

WIAWSNB

He should have placed his trellis fully on his side. 
You can force him to remove it - it should be straight forward since you have LegProt. 
But entirely your call whether to do so.
Based on what else you've told us, I'd get cameras up. They can be discrete. 
Just in case...

MeteredOut

OP, take a step back and think, if you'd just moved into the house now, and your wall had his trellis on top, would you object to it?

If not, then consider leaving things as they are. Keep your panels for when his trellis eventually falls apart.

But if you simply don't want the trellis there, or want to send him a message, get him to remove the trellis, but be sure to have your evidence that you own the wall.

HillStreetBlues

I can see how the conversation will go.
"I wanted a trellis on the wall but didn't put one up as thought it would annoy you, now you have put one up I want to annoy you by getting you to take it down so I can put one up."

baz8755

HillStreetBlues said:

I can see how the conversation will go.
"I wanted a trellis on the wall but didn't put one up as thought it would annoy you, now you have put one up I want to annoy you by getting you to take it down so I can up put one up."

Really? People are such trolls

I've already had the conversation and it went
"I already have a fence that I was not putting up but didn't so as not to cause issues, however now you have put up a trellis I assume you are ok with it. I'm happy for you to keep your trellis but just adjust it so that I can put up my fence"
"I agree it would have caused a rift but I have no problem taking the trellis down but I will need permission from my wife, I will let you know tomorrow"

That was nearly 2 weeks ago and given his past performance I would expect I will never hear back, forcing further interaction/conflict.

baz8755

MeteredOut said:

OP, take a step back and think, if you'd just moved into the house now, and your wall had his trellis on top, would you object to it?

If not, then consider leaving things as they are. Keep your panels for when his trellis eventually falls apart.

But if you simply don't want the trellis there, or want to send him a message, get him to remove the trellis, but be sure to have your evidence that you own the wall.

No but that is a different situation, the trellis would already be there, I would not have something ready to go there. If I really wanted to do anything about it I would ASK the neighbour if would take it down or adjust it.

MeteredOut

baz8755 said:

MeteredOut said:

OP, take a step back and think, if you'd just moved into the house now, and your wall had his trellis on top, would you object to it?

If not, then consider leaving things as they are. Keep your panels for when his trellis eventually falls apart.

But if you simply don't want the trellis there, or want to send him a message, get him to remove the trellis, but be sure to have your evidence that you own the wall.

No but that is a different situation, the trellis would already be there, I would not have something ready to go there. If I really wanted to do anything about it I would ASK the neighbour if would take it down or adjust it.

Yes, its a hypothetical situation, but one that was meant to draw out whether your approach is based on logic or on emotion.

I note you chose not to answer whether you would accept the trellis in this hypothetical situation.

But, at this point, its pretty much a binary decision - either leave it as is, or ask him to take it down. Have you decided which one?

Cressida100

Stop allowing this man to live in your head. 

WIAWSNB

Cressida100 said:

Stop allowing this man to live in your head. 

Could be considered a trite remark, but it isn't. This is sometimes just what is needed.
The unreasonable and unpleasant actions of others can cause an emotional wearing down, so they end up getting away with a lot more than they ever should. It's like a 'power' thing, and it works by taking advantage of other people's empathy and decency.
You know where you are with this situation now, baz, and what you can do about it.
Cameras up yet? Do so - it'll be transformative to how you feel, as it'll be a constant witness to your reasonableness, and his belligerence. 
Get your LP's backing, and then plan your approach.

baz8755

WIAWSNB said:

Cressida100 said:

Stop allowing this man to live in your head. 

Could be considered a trite remark, but it isn't. This is sometimes just what is needed.
The unreasonable and unpleasant actions of others can cause an emotional wearing down, so they end up getting away with a lot more than they ever should. It's like a 'power' thing, and it works by taking advantage of other people's empathy and decency.
You know where you are with this situation now, baz, and what you can do about it.
Cameras up yet? Do so - it'll be transformative to how you feel, as it'll be a constant witness to your reasonableness, and his belligerence. 
Get your LP's backing, and then plan your approach.

We already have CCTV following the nighttime painting of our drive. Luckily the ring doorbell and CCTV we have kept examples of the verbal abuse we have received.

The problem with this gentleman is his previous behaviour and despite him saying he would take it down after talking to his wife he has not. I am a very trusting person who will go out of my way to help anyone and like to think everyone else has the same moral compass but I feel that no matter how much leeway I give him he is never going to be respectful.