Money Moral Dilemma: Should I give some of my lottery winnings to the person who gave me the ticket?

tsvk9 · 23 July at 12:19AM

Crikey people, crawl out of your caves - you share the joy obviously!
I know the question posed is hypothetical but the responses are real. And really sad. You know our species evolved through caring and sharing don't you?

SimpleasABC · 23 July at 6:53AM

I buy tickets for Christmas and put them in crackers, I avoid this dilemma by buying duplicates, so if they win I win. Simple!

All_Ears · 23 July at 9:03AM

You could always tell your relative that you have won and tell them how grateful you are, of course. Then add that it will pay for many other lottery tickets, so that they can save that money and buy one (or many!) for themselves instead and in the hope that they win.

ginamwilliams · 23 July at 9:45AM

I include scratch cards in with all the birthday cards I send. It's a gift (and chance to win thousands!) but not for me, for them. If they are lucky enough to win anything, then THAT is my actual gift, not the piece of card! If I send a scratch card with £100,000 prize, and they don't win, then I've gifted them NOTHING! But if they do win that, then £100,000 was my gift - why would I want any of it back?

SugarSnap · 23 July at 12:10PM

I give lottery tickets and scratch cards in birthday cards to nieces and nephews. I’d be absolutely thrilled if they won £50,000 or more…. Even twice that. It’s a gift, it’s a lottery. Wouldn’t want any back, no.

Eccentrica_Gallumbits · 23 July at 1:14PM

The lottery ticket you were given is a chance to win money. Most don't win, but some do. You were one of the lucky ones. The gift you were given gave you not just the chance to win, the dream of winning, but actual winnings. I'm sure your grandmother would be thrilled that you won. I would definitely find a way of thanking her - a minimum of a nice card, flowers/chocolates/champers, something to give her a bit of a treat. Maybe a meal out. If the amount you won was more than something like £10,000, then I would make the thank you gift bigger, but that's a matter of choice. A holiday - with you - would be a nice thank you, too.

There isn't any obligation to give anything at all to your grandmother, but personally I would want to, with both of the grandmothers I had, if I were in this situation. It's right to be aware of their own circumstances as well as your own, and bear this mind when choosing your gift.

As others have said, your family may contain members, your grandmother included, that would turn this into an "I want this/that/the other" situation. Only you know that, and that is when I would proceed with caution! I would definitely keep the thank you gift to a small one and I would choose not to tell them or anyone else how much I had actually won. (This last sentence may be a wise one in any case.) You can always give other gifts as time goes on. It doesn't all have to be one massive "thank you" right now, because hopefully this money will be used wisely by you and so it will last and increase with time, meaning you can afford to be more generous over time, but always keeping the gift fairly small if your family are money-grabbing sorts.

Congratulations! I wish you joy of this unexpected win, and I hope you make sure you treat yourself to something, even if you use some of it to add to your savings/help pay off your mortgage and/or any other debt. I think every unexpected amount of money should be split up to allow most of it - 1/2 to 2/3?) to be saved or invested or both, some of it - 1/4? - to enrich your life now (new furniture? private surgery to avoid NHS waiting lists?) and some of it (smallest amount) to treat you to something you really want but couldn't have afforded otherwise (a treat like theatre tickets, or a weekend in London, or a spa day, or new make-up - you will have your own idea of what a treat would be).

This way you are thanking your grandmother, whether she's easy and nice or more complicated and focused on money, and you're also keeping your winnings and deciding how best to spend them. What she deserves is your gratitude for the chance she gave you of winning, whether you give her a reward for the fact that the chance came off, or not, and whether she's lovely or difficult. Raise a glass to her when you are celebrating!

pinkangorasweater · 23 July at 6:48PM

If it's a substantial amount as you say, you could easily give them something really nice, fab holiday, pay their bills for a year or two or more depending on amount, change their car - as they'd like best. You'd keep the majority. Of course they wouldn't necessarily expect anything for a smaller amount, just be thrilled you'd won but a large sum, why be mean? I couldn't keep it all personally.

Gemmie57 · 23 July at 7:20PM

I would have to offer them half, the kind relative may refuse, in which case a token present would be appropriate.

primrose_penguin · 23 July at 9:54PM

I think your relative puts a lottery ticket in cards to family hoping they WILL win something, so I would not feel guilty about it. However if you want to express your gratitude you could always send some flowers or chocolates to say thank you. If they live nearby perhaps take them out for a meal. It was given as a present so enjoy it, if however it was a large amount and you feel you want to offer them part of it, that is up to you but don't be surprised if they refuse to take it, after all that is why they gave you the ticket in the first place

CrazyBee787 · 24 July at 3:26PM

There is actually only one thing I would do which is: Keep it and don't tell them, because they may want more then you are offering and it could all turn quite nasty, I have heard other stories similar all turning wrong. If You want to give something to them, I would do it secretly like gifting them a nice gift at Christmas or birthday, but for your sake do not tell them. Honest, Can of worms!