Funeral

Pip_cas1

If choosing a direct funeral,i understand youre unable to have anyone present in the crematorium but are you allowed a small number in the grounds for a few words? 

DancingBadger

IME, direct funerals are conducted without relatives being told the date or time.  You only know it has taken place after the event.

Emmia

Pip_cas1 said:

If choosing a direct funeral,i understand youre unable to have anyone present in the crematorium but are you allowed a small number in the grounds for a few words? 

I presume these take place when the crem has a free "slot" perhaps first /last thing, in between other services... I think if you go for this option you have to accept no one will be there.

mebu60

The funeral director will contact you when they have the ashes .You collect them and can gather somewhere more interesting than the crematorium for a few words and dispersal. You could have a small function before / after too in memory of the loved one. 

Cairnpapple

I have seen some funeral directors offer a simple funeral that is one step up from unattended - for example you have a short slot in the crematorium for a small number of people to play some music.

DancingBadger

I forgot to mention - direct cremation is offered by most undertakers, and if cost is an issue, they are often a lot cheaper than the well-known company which seems to advertise just  about everywhere.

born_again

Pip_cas1 said:

If choosing a direct funeral,i understand youre unable to have anyone present in the crematorium but are you allowed a small number in the grounds for a few words? 

Wait till you get the ashes. Then do that in a place of your choosing where you are going to scatter the ashes 🤷‍♀️

p00hsticks

If it's from a plan with one of the large national companies, apparently they have their own crematorium so the cremation may well happen a long way from where the deceased lived. 

Wyndham

My father in law set up a direct cremation so that 'we didn't need to worry about anything'. In the end, it caused a lot of stress, and there were extra costs which were demanded a couple of days after he died in order for them to proceed.

The plan was quite cheap, I think. I'm sure that there are more expensive ones which are better!

We were not at the cremotorium, and it happened about 30 miles from where he lived. We got the ashes back (at extra cost) and then had a 'scattering' with a few people there.

gwynlas

There are different criteria from different companies, some transport the body to quieter crematoriums to fill unbooked slots others have their own. Similarly remains might or might not be returned.

You do not have to have the dceased present to have a memorial service, just look at famous examples where this takes place some time after death.

A memorial could take any form you want, a religeous service, a cup of tea and a biscuit or a full on party if you wish. It just needs to acknowledge that it is to remember the deceased

mebu60

Wyndham said:

My father in law set up a direct cremation so that 'we didn't need to worry about anything'. In the end, it caused a lot of stress, and there were extra costs which were demanded a couple of days after he died in order for them to proceed.

The plan was quite cheap, I think. I'm sure that there are more expensive ones which are better!

We were not at the cremotorium, and it happened about 30 miles from where he lived. We got the ashes back (at extra cost) and then had a 'scattering' with a few people there.

M-i-l wants a direct cremation and wanted to pre-pay to save us the worry etc. Managed to persuade her not to do that. I have checked out several local funeral directors in her area and spoken with an independent chap who's fixed price seems to cover all the basics including return of ashes in a nicer receptacle than the cardboard box with the council crest on that they apparently come back to him in.