The Frugal Hearth: Stories of Simple Living and Living Well

DaedricPrince

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/81923372#Comment_81923372

40 and recently diagnosed here! After a lifetime of misdiagnoses and medication that either did nothing or made life worse. It certainly helps see life differently, make adjustments and just generally give yourself a break after being called lazy, flaky, absent minded and careless since childhood. Executive dysfunction, working memory issues, lack of object permanence etc. explains so much and can work to stop being ashamed, wondering why and thinking we're "bad". Helps explain getting into debt whilst being otherwise pretty intelligent people!

Strategies and medication can help. Especially music to help with focus for me. Lots of lo-fi while going through my budgets with hyperfocus in full swing 😀

@Elisheba I too, wake at stupid o clock with a racing brain. I love reading these diaries in that time with a coffee and some chill lo-fi music to start the day and try and settle the brainbox down a bit for the day.

Hope you're having a lovely, stress free weekend.

Elisheba

Morning, everyone. Happy Sunday, and Happy Mother's Day to all those who celebrate,

In good news, yesterday I spent nothing. In less good news I was actually supposed to spend money yesterday as I needed to go out and buy my Mum's birthday present 🙄.

Instead I spent all day in bed with coffee writing my new blog entry. Totally lost track of time, didn't shower or dress, couldn't understand why silly dog kept crying and I had to keep going downstairs to see what he wanted. Turned out a whole day had passed and and he was just crying at his normal times for the things he knew happened then, like attention, cuddles and a walk.

So once I posted the article and emerged from the zone I did get showered and dressed and took him out, and then spent lots of time with him. So he's fine! And once I had a shower and drank something other than coffee I felt a lot more human as well.

My new blog post is about ADHD and how it felt without knowing that's what was going on. I had to think very hard about whether I wanted to share it so publicly. In the end though I decided I wanted people to know. It has felt like I've been hiding so much about myself and all the things I find hard for so long, and I'm really, really tired of doing that. I don't want to make excuses for myself, I just want to be able to say actually I don't think this, or this, or this, is going to work for me, can we try it another way? And you never know, maybe sharing it will help someone else have a LBM the way I did.

And it's all such a huge relief for me and I guess I'm basking in all those happy feelings. I was ashamed before of all the things I was struggling with, things I knew I could do but somehow couldn't seem to do. But now I know it's not my fault, and that I'm not choosing to not do them - they are just really hard for me in a way that isn't about capability. That there is a perfectly reasonable explanation for the sometimes total disconnect between what I can do and what I'm actually doing, and that explanation isn't that I'm lazy or just don't care enough. And now I don't have to be ashamednor embarrassed, and I just want to shout it from the rooftops 🤣.

So yeah, revelling in the validation at the moment!

Today I have church, and need to take silly dog a decent walk. Also need to change my bedding as black cat just threw up on my duvet, poor little soul. Also want to meal prep for the week as it's a lot easier to eat healthily if I don't have to cook when I'm tired. I'm sure there are other things I need to do that I've written down somewhere so I'll dig out that list.

Shouldn't have to spend any money today so that's good. Not sure what I'll do about my Mum's birthday present - maybe pop to the shops on a lunch break during the week when I'm out with silly dog.

Hope you are all having wonderful weekends and getting in some proper R+R.

Elisheba

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/81923391#Comment_81923391

Oh my goodness, I completely relate to everything you are saying @DaedricPrince !

Elisheba

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/81923372#Comment_81923372

It really does, @weenancyinAmerica !

Humdinger1

Congratulations @Elisheba for stating publicly that this is how it is. Nobody should have to pussyfoot round this stuff. Onwards and upwards love Humdinger xx

Elisheba

Good morning, everyone,

Well, the house move is still progressing. Missives aren't concluded yet but I'm hopeful it will be this week.

I've bought my home and contents insurance, so the spending from savings has officially begun! Organised the broadband which an engineer will come out to setup the day after I move, which is a relief. In my house before this one it took weeks, and with me working from home most of the time now that would have been a major problem.

I've informed my energy company and council tax people at this end. Can't tell water company until a week before my end of tenancy date. I'll set up a new energy account once I'm moved. Council tax where I'm moving say not to tell them until I'm actually moved, just in case dates change.

So I think I'm all organised for now! I also looked into changing silly dog's insurance as his renewal is soon. Thought I'd found a company that was significantly cheaper which didn't have co-payments, but when I spoke to them on the phone it turns out that they do after a dog is 8, so that was a bust. I'd rather pay more now than have 20% of a £10k bill every year, plus excess, if something serious were to befall him.

Other than that things are just puttering onwards. I'm been quite good in work this week using some of the hacks I've learned so that's always nice. One of the slightly more daft sounding things I've done is add a 10 minute dance session to my morning routine. It's fun, it gets the blood flowing, and it boosts dopamine which helps me focus later, so why not?

I haven't had a chance to catch up on everyone diary of late, so I'll see if I can do that tonight.

Today I have one training, and 2 meetings at work, all spread out the day which isn't ideal. Also need to post a birthday card for my mum, and buy one for a friend as well. Dinner will be some curry thats in the fridge.

I saw on FB some frugal ideas for filling raised beds, and have started getting excited about my new garden. It sort of feels unreal that I'm going to be able to do whatever I want, and don't have to worry what the landlord will say, or that I'm wasting money on something I'll just leave behind when I move. I have a lot of ideas for the front garden, but not sure about the back which is much more exposed and on a hill. Other restrictions are a short growing season because it's so high up, and I'll need to test the ground for lead due to potential past run off from old mining works. Not sure what the soil is like yet so that's another think I'll need to investigate.

Oh and I've also connected with my local church where I'm going. Poor woman must be wondering what she's letting herself in for with the massive influx of questions I was asking 🤣. It sounds like it is fairly typical rural parish these days - small congregation and ongoing restructuring. I'm going to really miss my current chapel that while small was very active and innovative, and also didn't have much in the way of money worries. There is nothing I find so distracting from faith than worrying about the church roof 🤣.

Right, time to get the day started. Have a great Thursday everyone!

fionaandphil

Fantastic that all is going well for you, keeping my fingers crossed that all the missives come in soon so you are ready to go. For raised beds you may get offers of plants from locals and a good way to meet new people so I wouldn't rush out and buy anything yet. I potted a load of strawberry runners yesterday to share as I am overrun with them!

Moorviews

I hope all will go smoothly for you with the administrative and practical aspects of the move. An exciting but anxiety provoking time, however, you sound as organised as it is possible to be! It will be so lovely for your family to have you living closer to them too. Good luck!

foxgloves

Good luck with everything Elisheba & I shall continue to follow your adventures once you are in Scotland.

F x

Elisheba

Morning, all,

The house purchase went though yesterday. I am now a homeowner!!!!

I was really emotional yesterday when I found out. Kept bursting out crying all morning. It has felt like an awfully long journey to get here. Decades of financial mismanagement, then five and bit years of hard graft sorting it all out. Couldn't have done it with out MSE and the forum and this diary and all of you, so thank you all so much!

Since I had been crying, and that leaves me feeling really drained, yesterday was pretty much a write off activity wise. I did manage to get some things done at work I needed to do to prepare for being off for a week, but the evening I just spent on the sofa playing on my phone, and I went to bed about 8pm 🤣. I did have some pizza and ice cream to celebrate though.

Today I have a list as long as my arm to get done, and the same tomorrow

It's mainly last minute packing, but I also need to take my fridge to the recycling centre, and I have a coffee and board game thing between 10am and 12 noon.

Tomorrow there is chapel and then we are all going out for lunch afterwards. It's also due to rain tomorrow, so anything I need to do outdoors or in the garage will need to be done today ideally.

I'm trying out yet another new organiser app, this one called XTiles. The visuals are much nicer than the last one I tried (ToDoist), and theoretically I should be able to do a lot of the things on other apps on there instead (like write down all my spending). We'll see how it goes.

Anyway, rather than write my To List for the day out again, I'm going to try and upload a picture of it.

Oh cool, that seems to have worked! Also, should probably point out the pick up poo task is for the dog poo in the garden - no poo in the house 🤣.

Everything is now paid for except the end of tenancy cleaner for the move. Removals company will be here at 6am on Monday (eek - after the clocks have changed so that's going to feel like 5am, and I'll need to be up and hour before that!). So all being well I'll be unpacking in the new gaff by Monday afternoon.

I spent the best part of two hours after work on Thursday going through and writing down my March spending in my new XTiles spending tracker (replacing Notion which I've never quite got on with. XTiles is like Notion but for less techy people - probably less functionality, but I could never work out how to do things on Notion anyway). Also updated all my s/s so I know exactly what is why for the move.

Spending priorities once I'm in are -

🏵️ Get roof fixed - quoted £1600. Roofer coming next week to make sure there is no more damage and give me a date. Money pot - current avings

🏵️ Storage - quoted £1250. Joiner coming a week on Monday to measure up. Money pot - current savings

🏵️ Kitchen wall cupboards - have priced some. Will ask joiner how much he will charge to fit them. Money pot - some current savings, some ongoing savings

🏵️ Fencing - no idea how much this cost. Going to ask the estate manager who I'm renting the back garden off of who their contractor is. In my head I've allocated £2500, but I've no idea how accurate that will be. Money pot - cashback from mortgage deal and rented house deposit refund.

I have a long list of other things that will need done or purchased, but they will just get done as money allows. With so much needing done or bought this year I'm not going to be able to build up any savings. I'll keep a small emergency fund aside, but if anything major comes up I'm afraid it will be overdraft or credit card. Once the major stuff is done though I can start building up the savings again.

Oh and I haven't even thought about what I'm going to need to spend on both gardens other than the fencing. I very much want bee friendly, relaxing spaces, but there is no urgency on any of that. Getting things tidied up will be the main task for this year, and that's going to mainly just be time and leg work.

Right, I suppose I had better think about starting the day! Us new homeowners can't be dilly-dallying about all over the place 😆.

Hope everyone is well and that you have a wonderful weekend.