Managing money as a couple

BrilliantButScary

BrilliantButScary said:

Just as a matter of interest, when managing your finances as a couple, as the OP does, and it appears other posters, what happens in the following circumstances?

1. A disparity in income
2. An inheritance
3. If one person becomes a stay at home parent
4. Illness and disability

What factors led you to managing your finances in this way?

Thank you for those who replied to my post, as I find the psychology of money fascinating.

We are in the @sausage_time camp.
We have always had a joint account and the only thing we have individually are ISA's and Premium Bonds.

Rich1976

Mark_d said:

Rich1976 said:

We have a joint account and share a credit card and it has made things much easier than the scenario we did have previously, similar to yours where I owed them for this but they owed me for that.
So everything goes into one account and everything regardless of who’s spent it comes out the same account.

whats left goes into Savings again in joint names where also there is no argument as to how much one of us has saved up for something but the other person hasn’t .

it works for us perfectly now.

Thanks for sharing!
Can you share a credit card?  I understand you can have supplementary cardholders but the primary cardholder is responsible for the debt, has their credit report updated, and can see the secondary cardholder's spending.  The secondary cardholder can see their own spending only.
It's a positive that your method is simple but it means that your partner buys your presents party using your money.  How would you feel if your partner went out with their friends and bought Champagne for everyone using joint funds?

When we say we share a credit card, I mean that one of us is the additional card holder.

As for presents we don’t tend to buy surprise presents ( who said romance was dead ! ) so for birthdays and Christmas we tend to know what the other person is getting. We tend to spend on experiences or a meal out rather than material gifts.

As for the champagne, that doesn’t happen either. Maybe a round of drinks if it is a special occasion but otherwise everyone pays their share or they just split the bill equally.

we have a rough amount allocated to spending money and it’s usually fine. We also plan what we are going to spend on for the following month eg trips out, meals etc so have a rough idea how much is needed.

works for us and communication has improved as a result because we treat both incomes as one overall income and allocate it accordingly.

Rob5342

We just treat all our money as joint and lump it all together in one account. As far as we are concerned its a joint venture and we each do ehat we can. At the moment I earn vastly more than my wife does, but who knows, one day I could become unable to work and she could become my carer. We just take the view that we enjoy what we have together while we are able too. As long as we can each buy things we fancy sometimes we don't worry about who has spent what. Most of our money goes on joint things anyway, ita normally only a relatively small amount we spend on ourselves. 

My sister is the complete opposite and every single thing in her house belongs to either her or her husband. It's just a case of what works for you really. 

Emmia

BrilliantButScary said:

BrilliantButScary said:

Just as a matter of interest, when managing your finances as a couple, as the OP does, and it appears other posters, what happens in the following circumstances?

1. A disparity in income
2. An inheritance
3. If one person becomes a stay at home parent
4. Illness and disability

What factors led you to managing your finances in this way?

Thank you for those who replied to my post, as I find the psychology of money fascinating.

We are in the @sausage_time camp.
We have always had a joint account and the only thing we have individually are ISA's and Premium Bonds.

I think the "all in" works if you're on the same page with spending and saving/financial outlook and trust one another.

But in scenarios where one person has a issue with gambling (for example) or if there is even the slightest whiff of financial control I'd recommend you keep at least some money entirely separate. 

SevenOfNine

Everything always belonged to both of us, we don't answer to each other about what is spent. He has always earnt more than me, neither of us care (he certainly never has), it's all "ours", jointly.

We keep ISA's fairly evenly distributed between us but if it were possible they would be 'joint' as well.

We've been married 50 years, but it does look like some don't feel permanency in their relationship? Maybe there's less of it nowadays so they're correct to have more of a 'mine/yours' approach.

Spendless

We share everything it is all ours regardless of who earns what. It might go into different named pots in and out, that's just to make it easier to see what's available. Any windfalls to either of us are also viewed as ours and a discussion about what we will be doing with it would happen. 

BrilliantButScary

Emmia said:

BrilliantButScary said:

BrilliantButScary said:

Just as a matter of interest, when managing your finances as a couple, as the OP does, and it appears other posters, what happens in the following circumstances?

1. A disparity in income
2. An inheritance
3. If one person becomes a stay at home parent
4. Illness and disability

What factors led you to managing your finances in this way?

Thank you for those who replied to my post, as I find the psychology of money fascinating.

We are in the @sausage_time camp.
We have always had a joint account and the only thing we have individually are ISA's and Premium Bonds.

I think the "all in" works if you're on the same page with spending and saving/financial outlook and trust one another.

But in scenarios where one person has a issue with gambling (for example) or if there is even the slightest whiff of financial control I'd recommend you keep at least some money entirely separate. 

Good advice @Emmia,
I think we are on the 'same page' after 42 years.
We have always had a 'both in it together' attitude, and have never fallen out about money, whether we had a little or a lot. 

UKX69

My wife and I have been married for 50 years and have always had a joint account at NatWest. When we were both working the wages went into the account, bills paid and anything left over went into a savings account. That is still the way it works now except along the way more savings and investments were added. All spending is on a credit card with my wife as the additional card holder and paid off in full each month. I can honestly say we have never disagreed over money as we sit down and discuss any savings/investments. That said, I mainly look after the financial side of things with my wife having an input. 🤔

ptkloon

Rob5342 said:

We just treat all our money as joint and lump it all together in one account. As far as we are concerned its a joint venture and we each do ehat we can. At the moment I earn vastly more than my wife does, but who knows, one day I could become unable to work and she could become my carer. We just take the view that we enjoy what we have together while we are able too. As long as we can each buy things we fancy sometimes we don't worry about who has spent what. Most of our money goes on joint things anyway, ita normally only a relatively small amount we spend on ourselves. 

My sister is the complete opposite and every single thing in her house belongs to either her or her husband. It's just a case of what works for you really. 

This is exactly us. My wife works part time and I work full time and have to go away for periods, but earn more than her. We have a joint account where all the bills come from and my wages go in. She has her own account where her wages go in and she spends that on all the kids activities, clubs etc.
We also have a credit card in my name and she is the additional card holder, and we both use that for day to day spends to allow us to get points. Works well for us.
Her sister seems to have a totally different attitude to money and what's hers is hers, even though her husband works and pays for everything and she doesn't work but any money she does have, keeps to herself.

ThePirates

Mrs Pirate gave up work to raise the kids, I worked. Now she has a small part time job. All the money goes into a joint account, we each get our own 'pocket money' to spend on what we like! 29 years of true love!