Help…..lots of debt

Tlf28

sourcrates said:

Your current budget, as you well know, is unsustainable, very shortly you will no longer have available credit to fall back on, and the £1000 per month overspend you are currently running, will dry up.

With 3 children in the house, an order for sale would be unlikely especially as one child is disabled, so the unsecured credit payments must stop, and I mean now, stop paying them.

Your reliance on credit has to end, you should also chop your budget down wherever you can, long term that house needs to sell, and you need to find rented accommodation, I don`t think there is any other solution to this.

By the time the house sells, and the muddy waters have cleared, your debts should have been sold on, and there may be opportunities to make settlement offers from your divvy of the house proceeds to clear what you owe once and for all.

I don`t see any other option, you have no disposable income with which to pay your creditors anything, so that rules out most other choices.

Yes I totally agree with you. 

Do I just stop paying them and say nothing or do I inform them of the situation? What will happen from then? 

Sea_Shell

If he's "disappeared from planet earth", and has had no contact with anyone...has he had an accident?

Maybe you've been widowed?

Tlf28

Sea_Shell said:

If he's "disappeared from planet earth", and has had no contact with anyone...has he had an accident?

Maybe you've been widowed?

I doubt it, his family blatantly know where he is or have communication with him. If they didn’t they would have surly said that when they have received court letters? 

Emmia

Tlf28 said:. 

The last email to him was December 2024. Since then nothing. His family apparently have no communication with him. No social media. It’s as if he’s disappeared from plant earth. 

Tlf28 said:

Sea_Shell said:

If he's "disappeared from planet earth", and has had no contact with anyone...has he had an accident?

Maybe you've been widowed?

I doubt it, his family blatantly know where he is or have communication with him. If they didn’t they would have surly said that when they have received court letters? 

 Do you think his family is lying about not knowing his whereabouts?

sourcrates

Tlf28 said:

Yes I totally agree with you. 

Do I just stop paying them and say nothing or do I inform them of the situation? What will happen from then? 

As your case is quite an extreme example to be fair, you may get a better response if you write a generic letter detailing your circumstances, that you have been left in this situation after your husband deserted you, mention you have 3 kids and what their circumstances are etc, and that you simply cannot afford any payments at this time, send a copy to each lender.

Make certain to tell them you have no disposable income with which to pay these debts, and that you have been funding recent payments from credit, don`t be afraid to tell them the full financial details, but do not mention the house situation, as that may complicate things, and they may see fit to attempt a charging order, it would be rare, but you must be thoughtful about what exactly you tell them now.

Affordability is paramount with lenders these days, after recent guidance from the FCA, since COVID its been a top priority as more and more folk are finding their borrowing unaffordable, so if you can`t pay it, due to affordability, lenders will not expect you to do so, and will apply a range of measures including, but not limited to, putting your accounts on hold, suspending interest, stopping collection activity, and even writing debts off if this is going to be a long term thing.

So yes I would tell them your situation, they won`t take further action under these circumstances, and it can only be to your benefit.

ManyWays

If your ex wants half of the house equity, he will have to consent to the sale, and at that point you can get him to agree to a divorce?

But I am not sure how you can easily limp through to that point, as the house is not on the point of being sold and at the moment even stopping paying all the unsecured debts will not leave you with enough money to get through the month.

One other option is to accept that you will be left with nothing and consider bankruptcy if your father can act as a guarantor on a tenancy

itsthelittlethings

Would nobody advise OP to request to go interest only on the house until can get it sold especially if equity will be split with ex?

Emmia

itsthelittlethings said:

Would nobody advise OP to request to go interest only on the house until can get it sold especially if equity will be split with ex?

I think the problem is whether the lender would let the OP do this, when the OP is already in huge amounts of debt, and the vehicle to pay the capital off is the sale of the property (there's no lump sum, investment portfolio etc.) - bankruptcy is likely to force the sale of the property more quickly. And it would be remortgage - the ex (who the OP is not in contact with) would need to sign the papers... 

The mistake (in hindsight) is probably not trying to go I/O when the ex walked out - as a chunk of the credit card debts probably wouldn't have accrued, but the OP still wouldn't have a route to make the capital payment at the end of the term, as the lender would want - but again the ex would need to sign the papers, and although they were in contact then, they could have refused.

I know of someone whose ex refused to sign paperwork forcing the mortgage onto a much higher SVR rather than a low fix as a form of financial abuse during divorce, refusing to sign to move to I/O (if allowed) would amount to the same thing.

Spendless

Is it likely that ex would get as much as 50% of the equity of the house? . There'd be other things to take into account in a financial order  such as pensions and also that the OP has all children living with her inc one that is disabled which may  affect her earning capacity eg if she can only work certain hours. 

DankVielen

First of all I am sorry you have been put through all this.
There are two sides to this, you have been the responsible one doing what it takes to provide for your children, but it is your Ex you need to focus on if you want a clean way out of this.
This means you need to think of his motivation, what was he hoping to achieve by running away.  Does he somehow imagine that he can disappear and still own any share in the house?  Is he relying on some other form of Court that is authorised by consent of the parties in the UK?

Based on your SOA he must have been the higher earner in order to fund a 5 bed house, so I am wondering how on earth he manages to disappear, i.e. no linkedIn profile, no company website or is he working in a "family" business?

So to make him come out of the bushes you simply let his family know that the house is being repossessed by the Mortgage company and all the debt accrued will be offset against the debt, say if things happen this way then it is likely that he will get nothing.  Do not encourage him to engage, he will probably do that because of greed.
Now we need to think about you and your family future.  Firstly I think you need to get a one hour consult with a very solid firm of Solicitors who specialise in Family Court matters.  As far as I am aware one can't get a divorce when there are kids involved without a financial contribution and this is why you need a specialist firm.  They will know how to split things so he ends up with nothing but debt while you have some security.
Any valuation of the home needs to be done based on the date he left and stopped contributing to the mortgage.  You then come up with the amount the mortgage was paid off at that date. 

For example a 5 bed house in Bradford currently is priced

Lower End: £260,000 to £395,000.
but two years ago it was priced at

between £172,000 and £232,000
By my rudimentary calculations, the value of the house was around £202,000 when he left 2 years ago.
You have made 24 payments of £1872 so paid £44, 928 so he should not be entitled to any percentage of the house at current price.

The mortgage value two years ago would be £236000+£44, 928= £280,928 so he has no equity in the property at all. It seems any value increase and mortgage decrease occurred after he left.
I do not know the price when you bought it but that is another calculation.
You say the gross price but you need to assume at least £15,000 in Agent Fees, Legal Fees and moving costs, and more if he makes matters more complicated by continuing to mess around.

Then we have child support for 3 children, as he has been covert you should probably base any calculations on what he was earning before he left. Then use the child support agency to calculate 2 years of payments based on that.

On top of that there is debt that has been accrued since his departure but that he might have reasonably be expected to pay for if he had not abandoned his family and forced them into debt.  I am thinking of the additional costs that the DWP would not cover, such as mobility and any special needs equipment.
If he was able to get that mortgage he probably earned around £75k before he left, based on that his child support for 3 kids with not having the kids any days a week is as follows:

Child	Month	Week
one	£357.59	£82.58
two	£357.59	£82.58
three	£357.59	£82.58

Your estimated child maintenance calculation

£247.74 a week or £1,072.77 a month

So he owes you £25,746.48

A Family Solicitor will have much more to add such as percentage of the debt owed at the time and so on. You need to have a Solicitor prepare the financials so consider the UK divorce data below

Now for you there are three routes
Route 1 is you stay in the property, do not remortgage just pay the variable rate when the fixed rate expires. You can't afford to service the debt so you DMP all unsecured debt. I am guessing the admiral debt is to fund the car and maybe paid out of PIP mobility ??  If not and the debt is not secured on a car then it can go DMP too. Under this route the property continues to increase in price and you get the majority of the proceed as per calculations above.  Ex continues to owe you money at the prevailing rate.  Your credit record will be trashed for six years but that is inevitable. If you did an SOA with the unsecured debt removed you would get an idea of how affordable this is.  I DMP'ed around £90k of debt and did not pay a penny towards it, some are looking for a small discount, some for 60% off but for me it ended up with me pay £0.00 because they took so long to get to 60% and by that time I thought in for a penny may as well be in for a pound.

Route 2 is you try to sell the property now for some reason,I see no point in this unless the maggot shows himself and is prepared to make some financial contributions.  You may think you can draw a line under this now but it will sit in limbo and if it is going to sit in limbo you might as well benefit from the the value of the house increasing. You might think this gives you a clean start but I think you will struggle to rent in the private rental sector and there will be no security of tenure for more than 3 years.

Route 3 is Route 2 but you stop paying the mortgage due to affordability and let them repossess it, it will be sold below market value and you might not get as much money out of it as you would if you DuMPed the unsecured debt.  If you just did this so that you were evicted you would have a financial statement where you had no savings as it would show all of your debt in your SOA and the Council would owe you a housing duty.  With a disabled child you would get a priority need of the highest level, you would have very little say on where they put you, you would need to show a local connection either near your parents because they are part of your support structure and respite or where you are now because of your proximity to your work.

Whatever option you choose you would trash your credit record for six years but if you are desperate to buy your own property then after 5 years if you are in a social housing property you can exercise a right to buy if it has not been banned by then. Not being political, but I think it should at least be suspended until we have overcome the housing shortage, I say this as someone with a right to buy.  To be honest if I came into enough money to service a mortgage or buy my home I would rather put my home back into the social housing pool as it was there for me when I was in need.

In a UK divorce, a financial settlement determines how assets and debts are divided. The court's starting point is a 50/50 split, but this is adjusted based on individual circumstances, including the needs of the children and the parties, and the length of the marriage. While an equal split is common, the court considers various factors to ensure a fair outcome, not necessarily a perfectly equal one.

Key aspects of divorce financial settlements in the UK:

• Starting Point:

  The court typically begins with a 50/50 split of matrimonial assets, which are those acquired during the marriage. 

Factors Affecting the Split:

The court considers the needs of the children, the parties, the length of the marriage, and the contributions of each party. 

Matrimonial Assets:

These include the family home, pensions, savings, investments, vehicles, and businesses. 

Non-Matrimonial Assets:

Assets acquired before the marriage or through inheritance are generally excluded from the settlement. 

Legal Framework:

The Family Law Act 1996 and the Matrimonial Causes Act 1973 provide the legal basis for divorce settlements. 

Court's Role:

The court has the power to make financial orders that determine how assets should be divided. 

Consent Orders:

If both parties agree on a financial settlement, they can create a consent order, which is a legally binding agreement approved by the court. 

Financial Orders:

If parties cannot agree, the court will make a financial order, which can take longer and be more expensive than a consent order. 

Mediation:

Couples are often encouraged to attend a mediation meeting before applying to the court for a financial order. 

Capital Gains Tax:

Transfers of assets between spouses as part of a divorce are often not subject to an immediate capital gains tax charge