Help…..lots of debt

itsthelittlethings

Perhaps look at some of the threads on the house buying board about how to get a house sold. I can’t imagine you have the time to present it at its best!

itsthelittlethings

Tlf28 said:

itsthelittlethings said:

First of all I would stop paying non priority debts (people on here will be able to advise on the procedure for this). Are you claiming
PIP for your child?

Do I just literally stop without informing them that I won’t be paying? Or speak to them first? Sorry I’ve never ever been in this position before 

If no-one here can advise, call Stepchange. I think it wrecks your credit, will you need a mortgage on next house? If so may have time use credit a little longer.

Tlf28

itsthelittlethings said:

Tlf28 said:

itsthelittlethings said:

First of all I would stop paying non priority debts (people on here will be able to advise on the procedure for this). Are you claiming
PIP for your child?

Do I just literally stop without informing them that I won’t be paying? Or speak to them first? Sorry I’ve never ever been in this position before 

If no-one here can advise, call Stepchange. I think it wrecks your credit, will you need a mortgage on next house? If so may have time use credit a little longer.

Thank you will do this today. I dont think I’d be able to get a mortgage anyway unfortunately so will be looking to rent once this house sells. 

RAS

Tlf28 said:

elsien said:

What is happening with regards to a divorce and financial settlement? I’m just thinking that this may affect your options in the longer term? 
Can you not go through CMS for child maintenance? 

Regards to financial settlement, my ex has left the country & he’s refusing to acknowledge letters. Because he’s out of the country there’s nothing they can do apparently? I have to wait 5 year then the court will divorce me regardless. Same story with CMS they can’t locate him. 

OK, you are effectively trapped into a mortgage with which you are building equity that you may have to split with your ex in any financial settlement, whilst not being able to sell because you can't get a divorce and financial settlement or sell until the 5 years is up, although the current fix ends in March next year?

Plainly the marriage has irretrievably broken down, so you can divorce unilaterally as long as your ex acknowledges receipt of the petition. Have you taken advice if there is any way in which you could effect what is known as deemed service? So any recent email or texts with you ex or his relatives that could indicate a communication channel? Any social media you can monitor?

I'd also suggest talking to people on wikivorce as there may be others who've been in a similar divorce situation.

Sorting out the financial settlement is another matter, but he might have an incentive to engage.

Your family has to eat and needs essential items that you cannot afford. Can you get a full benefit check, and also a check on what you would get if you stopped working? Is this child care cost after free hours?

Have you talked to your mortgage provider? Can they allow you to go interest only, or possibly come to an arrangement by which they accept some reduced payment in exchange for a sale once the financial settlement is reached? 

Grumpelstiltskin

It looks like even if you could sell your house tomorrow your half of the equity would not cover your debts and to rent you would not pass a credit check so you would need 6 months rent up front as well as a deposit, unfortunately you would have nowhere near enough.

ManyWays

It ends March 2026 however my ex husband is still on the mortgage so doubt he’ll agree another fixed term. 
If it is impossible to contact him abroad, the bank may be prepared to do this

BUT if you are trying to sett the house you probably don't want another fixed term

house value 325k, mortgage 236k = 89k equity. If its split 50/50, you don't have enough to clear your debts

Is there anyone in your family that could act as a guarantor for a tenancy? 

sourcrates

Your current budget, as you well know, is unsustainable, very shortly you will no longer have available credit to fall back on, and the £1000 per month overspend you are currently running, will dry up.

With 3 children in the house, an order for sale would be unlikely especially as one child is disabled, so the unsecured credit payments must stop, and I mean now, stop paying them.

Your reliance on credit has to end, you should also chop your budget down wherever you can, long term that house needs to sell, and you need to find rented accommodation, I don`t think there is any other solution to this.

By the time the house sells, and the muddy waters have cleared, your debts should have been sold on, and there may be opportunities to make settlement offers from your divvy of the house proceeds to clear what you owe once and for all.

I don`t see any other option, you have no disposable income with which to pay your creditors anything, so that rules out most other choices.

RAS

I'd suggest these debts, or at least any accrued since the ex left, are "assets of the marriage" and ask that they be paid off (partial settlements?) by the equity before anyone gets equity? 

Tlf28

RAS said:

Tlf28 said:

elsien said:

What is happening with regards to a divorce and financial settlement? I’m just thinking that this may affect your options in the longer term? 
Can you not go through CMS for child maintenance? 

Regards to financial settlement, my ex has left the country & he’s refusing to acknowledge letters. Because he’s out of the country there’s nothing they can do apparently? I have to wait 5 year then the court will divorce me regardless. Same story with CMS they can’t locate him. 

OK, you are effectively trapped into a mortgage with which you are building equity that you may have to split with your ex in any financial settlement, whilst not being able to sell because you can't get a divorce and financial settlement or sell until the 5 years is up, although the current fix ends in March next year?

Plainly the marriage has irretrievably broken down, so you can divorce unilaterally as long as your ex acknowledges receipt of the petition. Have you taken advice if there is any way in which you could effect what is known as deemed service? So any recent email or texts with you ex or his relatives that could indicate a communication channel? Any social media you can monitor?

I'd also suggest talking to people on wikivorce as there may be others who've been in a similar divorce situation.

Sorting out the financial settlement is another matter, but he might have an incentive to engage.

Your family has to eat and needs essential items that you cannot afford. Can you get a full benefit check, and also a check on what you would get if you stopped working? Is this child care cost after free hours?

Have you talked to your mortgage provider? Can they allow you to go interest only, or possibly come to an arrangement by which they accept some reduced payment in exchange for a sale once the financial settlement is reached? 

Yes completely trapped. I don’t want this house nor can I afford it, but I’m stuck until it’s sold. He engaged with everything until the final decree absolute was due to be signed and he hasn’t replied (email) since, this was December. I have to wait 5 year since the application for divorce was put in before the court can over rule this which isn’t until 2027. 

The last email to him was December 2024. Since then nothing. His family apparently have no communication with him. No social media. It’s as if he’s disappeared from plant earth. 

I have spoken to my child’s social worker and I’m currently on a list for a social property. If this happens I would be better off stopping work but until then I need to work to pay the mortgage. Childcare cost is high as it’s a specialist childminder and my son’s care is 2:1. 

Mortgage provided said unless he agrees then can’t change anything without his consent. 

Tlf28

Grumpelstiltskin said:

It looks like even if you could sell your house tomorrow your half of the equity would not cover your debts and to rent you would not pass a credit check so you would need 6 months rent up front as well as a deposit, unfortunately you would have nowhere near enough.

Rent would not be a problem as I’m waiting for either a social house or my dad would pay my rent for me