Entitlements

Spendless

MandyMoo0712 said:

MattMattMattUK said:

Do you work? What kind of income do you have and what age are you, you should have mortgage options as well.

You seem to be dismissing what your partner is doing for his son, they are both in a very fortunate position that he is able to do that and as he can afford it I would say it is the right thing to do, but the way you are writing your posts you seem to be dismissing it as almost insignificant. 

Your son is unlikely to come home at weekends, he will be out with uni friends, a girlfriend etc., that is what happens when children go off to uni. If he is in halls then he will have to come home in the summer, but students are usually allowed to stay in accommodation most of the rest of holidays if they want. If he rents privately then he can stay all year round if he wants to.

Yes I do work, for the NHS on a salary that does not achieve £30k  I am the wrong side of 50 to be starting again with a mortgage 
I am certainly not dismissing anything by ex does for my son, which he has done ever since we had him. He is a good dad and I’m not on here to berate him only to find out my Entitlements
i guess it’s very easy to assume what my son will do, as you don’t know him. 

I know he will make many new friends but I know he will stay loyal to the friends he has now at home, therefore wanting to return  home to see them. 

And I know he will want to spend the summer hols with his dad in Boston, why wouldn’t he, it’s a new adventure 
Please don’t assume anything about me when you don’t know me. Thanks

Your entitlements are likely to be just 50% of the equity in the property you jointly own (you do own this 50/50 don't you, there's not a different division of this asset?). You are probably also entitled to child maintenance from now (or the date you split) until the end of August. Whether you'll find this enforceable since ex is on the brink of moving to another country not sure. Guessing your ex has been on a high salary so you haven't been able to claim child benefit, so that might be worth an ask for between now and again end of August (I'm assuming here that son is doing A levels or equiv and still in education or just finished exams). These things usually end beg of Sept as your son will go to Uni so no idea how/if they pay out with a change of circs between now and the 'finish line' (for want of a better word). Unsure if on your salary you'd also receive any other top up benefits as you're still supporting your child for the next few months, but perhaps worth an ask, could you see if you could get an appt at CAB? 

As to ex giving you more, I think another of your posts has cut short but assuming this meant ....

'With my half (if we achieve the asking price) I can afford (just) a 2 bed, but is a much different area. It will be much smaller than we’re in now, but I don’t mind that. Shortfall will only be £10k-£20k max. And I know for sure dad has    

..... I know for sure ex has this money. Well yes, as I've prev said if he has a min of £60k to pay for all son's Uni expenses when he doesn't need to and might turn out to be pointless cos son may never even pay £60k in loans back so has handed over the difference to the state, then he has the money. However, it doesn't look like he's under any legal obligation to give you it and from his view, he's paying for son to have accommodation, he can spend summers with Dad, you can afford a 2 bed place even if it's smaller and a diff place (and for the majority of time it's going to be just you even if son does come and stay sometimes). Putting it harshly it isn't exes problem the size or location of where you live now you've split up. You're not protected in other ways because you weren't married or in a civil partnership. However maybe there is something we're all missing or unaware of so best to seek professional advice.

Here's what I'd do, speak to Child benefit, ask CAB see if you can claim CB, child maintenance, any other top up benefits for the next few months. Talk to a solicitor see if you are eligible for anything beyond a 50% split. After that talk to ex to see if he's willing to be flexible on giving you a little more (and prepare yourself for a No) and then once you have all the facts, speak to a financial adviser or mortgage broker  that you would prefer a property that is at least £10k more than you've got - see what their suggestions are. 

MattMattMattUK

MandyMoo0712 said:

MattMattMattUK said:

Do you work? What kind of income do you have and what age are you, you should have mortgage options as well.

You seem to be dismissing what your partner is doing for his son, they are both in a very fortunate position that he is able to do that and as he can afford it I would say it is the right thing to do, but the way you are writing your posts you seem to be dismissing it as almost insignificant. 

Your son is unlikely to come home at weekends, he will be out with uni friends, a girlfriend etc., that is what happens when children go off to uni. If he is in halls then he will have to come home in the summer, but students are usually allowed to stay in accommodation most of the rest of holidays if they want. If he rents privately then he can stay all year round if he wants to.

Yes I do work, for the NHS on a salary that does not achieve £30k  I am the wrong side of 50 to be starting again with a mortgage 

On a salary of £28k you could borrow up to £140k, now over say 15 years that would make the repayments around £1k a month, which might be a little on the high side, but equally worth considering borrowing a lower amount if it gets you the property you want, it is worth keeping all options on the table.

MandyMoo0712 said:

I am certainly not dismissing anything by ex does for my son, which he has done ever since we had him. He is a good dad and I’m not on here to berate him only to find out my Entitlements

As others have said there are no specific entitlements as such, the starting position would be what you put into the deposit, your proportion of what you paid off and a split of the appreciation in the property, if your ex is offering half that is likely more than you would get in court with your son being 18 and him covering all costs.

MandyMoo0712 said:

i guess it’s very easy to assume what my son will do, as you don’t know him. 
I know he will make many new friends but I know he will stay loyal to the friends he has now at home, therefore wanting to return  home to see them. 

Unless there are some unusual circumstances then it is probably what will happen. Most parents assume that their child will be coming back at weekends and they then quickly find that their now adult child is off enjoying being independent whilst at uni. Those friendships change, they visit each other at their respective universities etc. things evolve.

MandyMoo0712 said:

And I know he will want to spend the summer hols with his dad in Boston, why wouldn’t he, it’s a new adventure 

He may, but I would expect that will get less interesting sooner rather than later. At 18 he will not be able to drink in the US so going out and socialising will be much more limited, he will not have education or employment as a route to friendships. I am sure any child would want to visit parents, but I expect it will be less than they expect, or hope.

sheramber

My son went to UNI, didnlt come home at wekends. When he left auni, with a job  he moved in with his girlfriend.

They split up and he bought his own flat.

He then moved to Romania for work 10years ago.

He still is contact with his best friend from school and his workmates from his short time working locally. 

He now stays with me when he comes back for visits as he has sold his flat here.

Savvy_Sue

I may have done something wrong with mine: they used to come home during Uni holidays, and two of them came home briefly after Uni, but now when they come back to this area it's more to see their friends and that's who they stay with. 

I generally see them on visits to my M-i-L, because two of them live not too far away and the youngest makes a point of visiting her when he's in the UK. 

I think the point we're all making is that arguing you NEED to provide a home for him may not be your strongest card, BUT if ex is willing to support his son rather than you, then framing it as offering stability to your son at a time of transition may be a better idea. For all those who've headed off to Uni and never returned, there are those who've needed a couple of attempts before finding their best fit, or decided it's not for them anyway.