Mum struggling with upcoming retirement and depression

Bishi

@dreaming @sheramber Whilst my mum hasn't explicitly said that it is the prospect of retirement alone that is causing her to feel down at the moment, she has mentioned it as a factor and I think it has been the catalyst for her current feelings. I think one issue is that she has always looked forward to retirement as a chance to make the most of the time to travel and go on days out, whereas my dad seems increasingly uncomfortable with new surroundings and would happily spend all of his time pottering around at home. Neither of them really have many friends and my mum can't drive because of one of her health conditions so in many ways she is reliant on my dad for getting out and about. I do think that she would benefit from having more day to day hobbies because, quite apart from dad's lack of interest, they don't have the money to be always out and about, but I haven't forced this issue much. It's more the total lack of interest in hobbies that she has enjoyed for a long time that worries me. For instance, she has kept an allotment for years but this year, despite the beautiful spring weather we've had, she has barely visited it and hasn't yet planted any seeds or anything. It's just very out of character for her to not be looking ahead and she admitted that she was 'wondering what it was all for' (which I took to mean that she was questioning her life and the future). 

kimwp

It's good that you are so concerned, but as you say, it takes her decision to do something about it. Her comment that she could snap out of it if she wanted is an interesting one - why doesn't she want to?

However, she is in a period of change and mourning for her old life and uncertainty for her new one (and probably thoughts of approaching the inevitable), so she's bound to be going through a period of emotional upheaval and numbness can be a part of dealing with that, but it's a good idea to keep an eye on her. Maybe you can find something little to engage her - the big questions might be too much, but a sunflower growing competition or something similar to have something to look forward to each day might be helpful.