Paternity dispute - what will court do/say?

misjk

Posting on behalf of my husband's situation. Please be kind because this has been extremely stressful for me and I'm fully aware it should have been sorted a long time ago. 

Before we met, my husband (potentially) fathered a child. He was not in a relationship with the mother. He was young, didn't take responsibility, wasn't ready. Like I said - I do not want this to be a lecture on his choices back then. I've had this conversation with him countless times. 

Anyway. The mother chose not to add him to the birth certificate on the basis of it wasn't needed and her father wasn't on hers. She did not claim child maintenance from my husband at this time. Myself and my husband met when the child was a few months old. We tried to establish a relationship with the child. When I fell pregnant, she then put in a claim for child maintenance. My husband didn't get the letter initially as it went to his parents house. When he did, he asked for a DNA test. The CSA said they couldn't help him with the cost of this. At the time, he was working very, very few hours and couldn't afford the test himself. This meant the CSA assumed parentage. 

Anyway, fast forward a few years, my husband has always paid maintenance. The CSA then said they could also (for some reason, maybe the policy changed?) help with paying for the test and he then pays them back. She agreed to the test. He provided his sample which was sent off. The next thing he hears, she has provided evidence to say that the child can't provide a sample. The CSA had verified and accepted medical evidence she provided but wouldn't share what this was with my husband due to data protection. They also said they understand my husband didn't meet any other criteria for parentage but that the case couldn't be closed now unless she did it and they advised we get legal advice. 

Again, we've had to save up money, trying to find a way forward. We speak to a solicitor who, using a PI, gets her address and sends her a letter outlining the situation (I can't remember exactly what the solicitor wrote but basically threatening court). The mother then says that she will do a DNA test, but then the CSA said it couldn't be done through them because they had already accepted medical evidence suggesting the child couldn't provide a sample. So we had to go private, but of course we wanted a DNA test that would be accepted in court rather than just the random DNA test kits you can buy anywhere. 

My husband pays for this second DNA test with Alpha Bio labs. The company came to our house to take the sample after the mother had said she agreed to the test. She then said that the child wouldn't be able to travel to either of the two clinics in Scotland because she doesn't drive and her child's needs mean he can't use public transport. So we then pay more money for someone to go to her house to take the sample. 

This week, we've had a call from Alpha Bio who said she has refused the DNA test. My husband messaged her and she said that a child protection specialist nurse is in agreement with Camhs that the child can't have the test because he doesn't want it done. She's saying the court can't force a test because it would cause him too much distress. She says this is now "Camhs, drs, child protection specialist nurse, family support and school all on same page only one who’s not is yourself". 

We are trying to get this taken to court but honestly this is just costing so much money whilst the maintenance is still being paid. If this goes to court, what are the chances that a judge will close the case? Ideally we'd like a DNA test but we accept that under human rights, no one can be forced to provide a sample. But if my husband doesn't meet any other criteria, what is the likely outcome? 

Honestly this is causing so much stress and upset and I just don't know where we go from here. 

MattMattMattUK

How old is the child? A five year old refusing is different to a sixteen year old refusing.

DNA test is not stressful in any way, it would either be a cheek swab or a hair sample, no impact on the child. The court can force DNA tests, it has that power.

I suspect that it is the mother, knowing/realising that your husband is not the father and is concocting a story so that her gravy train does not end. 

misjk

MattMattMattUK said:

How old is the child? A five year old refusing is different to a sixteen year old refusing.

DNA test is not stressful in any way, it would either be a cheek swab or a hair sample, no impact on the child. The court can force DNA tests, it has that power.

I suspect that it is the mother, knowing/realising that your husband is not the father and is concocting a story so that her gravy train does not end. 

The child is 8 now. 

I did think that there would be various options available for a DNA test so if a swab really couldn't be tolerated, for example, a hair sample or something could be done instead. 

Can the court force a DNA test though if there is medical evidence suggesting otherwise? We haven't seen this evidence due to data protection, but obviously the CSA and DNA test company have accepted this so not sure how how this could be disputed (I could be wrong, of course!) 

Obviously we think the same as you've said, but we've tried to accommodate. I don't understand why she'd agree one minute, then provide medical evidence suggesting otherwise the next. It's very confusing!

sammyjammy

What a dreadful situation for you, does seem to suggest alot of game playing from the mother, I wonder what would happen if you stopped paying?

misjk

sammyjammy said:

What a dreadful situation for you, does seem to suggest alot of game playing from the mother, I wonder what would happen if you stopped paying?

Unfortunately she can ask for them to claim directly from my husband's wages which would then cost even more. 

Flugelhorn

the test is non-invasive, can even just be saliva sample

sounds like the mother has something to hide

misjk

Flugelhorn said:

the test is non-invasive, can even just be saliva sample

sounds like the mother has something to hide

Yes we agree, and we don't understand why another form of collecting a sample (like hair for example) couldn't be done instead but here we are. 

I suppose I just don't understand how a judge could rule that my husband has to continue to pay money if he doesn't meet any other criteria and a DNA test can't be carried out? 

MattMattMattUK

misjk said:

MattMattMattUK said:

How old is the child? A five year old refusing is different to a sixteen year old refusing.

DNA test is not stressful in any way, it would either be a cheek swab or a hair sample, no impact on the child. The court can force DNA tests, it has that power.

I suspect that it is the mother, knowing/realising that your husband is not the father and is concocting a story so that her gravy train does not end. 

The child is 8 now. 

At that age consent is down to the parent, not the child.

misjk said:

I did think that there would be various options available for a DNA test so if a swab really couldn't be tolerated, for example, a hair sample or something could be done instead. 

It may depend what is paid for, a cheek swab is generally deemed best, but other options are available provided the lab is capable of processing them. 

misjk said:

Can the court force a DNA test though if there is medical evidence suggesting otherwise? We haven't seen this evidence due to data protection, but obviously the CSA and DNA test company have accepted this so not sure how how this could be disputed (I could be wrong, of course!) 

I cannot think of any genuine medical reason that a human would be unable to have a cheek swab. A court can view the evidence and there would be a non-disclosure in place.

misjk said:

Obviously we think the same as you've said, but we've tried to accommodate. I don't understand why she'd agree one minute, then provide medical evidence suggesting otherwise the next. It's very confusing!

She agrees because if she does not then you take her to court and they require it to happen and if she refuses then she would be in contempt of court, which carries large fines and/or jail sentences. By agreeing then not following through she is dragging the process out and probably hoping you give up and keep paying for the next decade. 

Flugelhorn

MattMattMattUK said:

I cannot think of any genuine medical reason that a human would be unable to have a cheek swab. A court can view the evidence and there would be a non-disclosure in place.

I agree - it is little different from having teeth cleaned

TonyMMM

misjk said:

 The mother chose not to add him to the birth certificate on the basis of it wasn't needed 

(Assuming this was in England/Wales) this wasn't a choice she made - she couldn't name him on the birth certificate unless he had gone to the registration office with her and signed the entry as a joint informant. 

LightFlare

Just do the test when he has visitation....hopefully he has asked for some since until proved otherwise, he is the child's father and is entitled to it