Money Moral Dilemma: Should we leave more to our younger children in our wills?

jedav

It's your money and your choice (you could leave nothing to any of them, for example). Whatever you do may cause resentment as they may each have different ideas about what is "fair".  Discuss it with all present before writing the will.

Bear in mind that, if you need care, there may be little left anyway.

Hazel29

Giviing dfferent amounts is risky.  Too often this leads to bad feelings among the legatees.  To inherit anythng at all is a bonus.  If the parent(s) have to go into reisdental/nursing home care there probably won't be much to pass on.

Groom

I would treat them all equally unless you have talked to them all about your intention. It could be a shock if they don't know until the will is read and it would be awful if the inheritance left bad feeling between siblings who had previously got on well. Hopefully it will be years until this happens, and circumstances for them all could change. 

Opinionsme

I think the dilemma really lies in the fact that you know your children's historical circumstances but not their future ones.

Your older children may have something in front of them which will change their (at the moment) quite enviable situations for the worse and your younger children may have something in future which will increase their financial situations substantially for the better.

With this in mind it is probably best to treat them all equally. Who knows, the ones that are more stable financially may then help the others.

helibird

As a previous poster said help now rather than waiting till you die. Paying of student loan may not make sense(see Martins articles about this). Perhaps some help with a deposit to get on the housing ladder would make more sense. Open discussion with them would make sense too unless there is already a lot of friction or sibling rivalry. I would have no problem with receiving less than a younger sibling in these circumstances

cockneybelle

i would generally be of the opinion to treat equally.  However like you say there are some major differences std loan  and today's youth also disadvantaged obtaining a mortgage compared to say 15-20 years ago. So in this instance I would divide it up slightly differently, likely  a bigger percentage to the one renting.  But only you know the full circumstances.

JuliusCaesar33

In my view people seem to confuse the issue of treating children equally as opposed to treating them fairly which is not the same thing. Treating them fairly means treating them according to their individual circumstances, treating them equally means giving them exactly the same irrespective of their circumstances. It is up to the parents to decide what fairly means according to how they view matters. Those children who have not had university fees to pay have been treated better by society than those who have incurred university fees. Personally, I do not think it unreasonable for parents to compensate by leaving more to those who have university loans to pay. However, I would have a family meeting to explain that it is your money and your decision on how you leave it, and set out the reasons behind your decisions. If, despite the explanation any child feels aggrieved then their grievance  is with you and hopefully not the other beneficiaries.

kimwp

I think you are looking at the wrong point in time by thinking about inheritance. They are struggling now and even if that weren't the case, a smaller cash injection earlier in life has a much greater impact than when you die and they are (hopefully) much older. Why not look at it more as (where possible, as you can never truly give to your children equally), giving them equal starts in life by giving the younger money now to give them the same start as the older children did, then leaving them equal amounts in your will. 

funagalo

Agree with Macron.  Things may change. Share equally. 

Fuzz_Wuzz

Hi,

I am the youngest child of 3. When my dad passed away, he left split everything 3 ways. Even though I was the only one who owned my own property. I would have been so upset if he had left more to my other 2 siblings - just because they didn't own their own property. I would have thought he loved them more than me.
He also made us all executors, however, due to  the middle sibling saying a solicitor was to expensive, and due to them both not being able to deal with things. I was left to sort it all out and even though I was, I always kept them in the loop with things. I was then accused of trying to rip them off... and sent me a solicitors letter to advise me of this. So after months of sorting everything out I gave it to the solicitor who was dealing with the house sale to sort the probate. Both my sister's haven't spoken to me since 2003. They even locked me out of our late father's house and took everything of sentimental value and anything of value and left me to sort out the rest and empty it and clean it before contracts were exchanged.

You have to be very careful when it comes to money,wills etc.. money does awful things to people and at a time when your heart is breaking after loosing a loved one!! 

I have one daughter, who like your children could not possibly afford to buy her own house on her own. So I wanted to help her out now, when she needs it. Not when I am dead and buried. Fortunately I am in a position to help her now, I gifted her some money and the rest of the money she needed is on a family mortgage (due to interest rates being so high) so she makes me payments instead of a bank/building society.

I read a message in this thread, it's your money do what you want with it as you won't be here when the will is read out. No you won't but all your children will and think how you decisions will effect them. Do you want to cause upset and anger at a time when they have lost you and may not be thinking straight. Think how you would feel if your parents left you less!! Maybe talk to them individually and advise them what you are thinking of doing and your reasons behind it - communication is what's needed here.