How do i persuade step son to rejoin his employers pension??

Crudecheese

So….my step son is 36, earning about £48k, joint custody 3 children and in rented accommodation. Has has quit his company pension citing he cannot afford to pay in. He has a pension from a previous job valued at, I guess..£25-30k.

 What do I say to him to get him to rejoin his employers pension?.

I could say his uncle cannot retire for another year and when he is 67 will only have the state pension to live on. I could tell him his mother, (my partner) who is going to retire in the Autumn will only be able to do so because I paid into a pension most of my life so I can support her for the next 3 years till she gets her state pension. I could tell him my half brother who does a manual job and has no pension or savings has another 4 years to go till he gets his state pension. Until then his body aches everyday and he can’t wait to stop work. I could tell him I retired early because I paid into a pension for years and life now is very sweet. I could also remind him that his mum and I recently moved into a larger house and due to his tenancy ending soon he may have to move in with us and thankfully my pension was one of the main reasons we were able to afford that house…ironic that my pension helps him and he cannot see it.

He likes to play golf maybe once or twice a month, eats out now and again, enjoys going to ‘see a show ‘now and again and he loves his Sky tv package to watch the footie….

so without me stating the obvious about changing his spending habits which I will be saying I would really appreciate any ideas on what I can say which hopefully will shock him into waking up and restart paying in….

many thanks in advance….

Simon11

For a starter, how much does the employer put into his pension? That is likely to be equivalent to a pay rise that he is giving up.

He would be saving tax of 20% and 40% if he starts to pay higher rate in the future which is most likely with an annual pay rise (over £50,271).

If he ever reaches an income of +£60k including anything like rental income and bonuses, that will eat into child benefit.

dunstonh

What do I say to him to get him to rejoin his employers pension?.

There is the blunt approach - calling him totally stupid and financially incompetent for doing such a thing.   
Or there is the cotton wool approach if you think he is mentally incapable of handling the truth.

He likes to play golf maybe once or twice a month, eats out now and again, enjoys going to ‘see a show ‘now and again and he loves his Sky tv package to watch the footie….

The reality is that the cost saving he thinks he has made is much less than he realises.   
obviously, there is the free money from the employer that he is no longer getting.
However, whatever his gross personal contribution was, he is now paying tax and NI on it.   So, he isn't actually taking home what he was paying into the pension before.

You could play on those things that he enjoys doing saying that he won't be able to do them in retirement as he will be close to breadline at the time.    Tell him that if he struggles on £xxx a year whilst working, then how does he expect to survive on a state pension of £12k a year in retirement.

MEM62

Crudecheese said:
What do I say to him to get him to rejoin his employers pension?.

As him how, when he claims to be struggling to survive on £48K per year, he is planning to survive on £221.20 per week - which is what he will have if he only has the state pension upon retirement?  

Or, if you want to be less subtle you can just tell him that he is being a fool.  

WastedWords

Tell him he won't inherit anything from you as you plan to spend the lot....

ComicGeek

There has to be a balance between enjoyment now and planning for retirement later. I used to focus on doing things in retirement until my mother in law died when she was 50 and my brother in law died at 40 - now at 44 I make sure my family has nice holidays and enjoys life now, particularly as my wife has health issues and is unlikely to have an active retirement.

I think we all need those little things that make our lives enjoyable now. If my (step)dad lectured me about spending a couple of hundred pounds each month on my own entertainment, I would tell him where he could jump... Particularly from a generation that frankly has had it much easier than most...

Sounds like he has made a good start paying in over the years. Perhaps when he gets a pay rise or costs from the children reduce he can carry on paying in. But a parent constantly sniping at a child brings zero success. I hardly speak to my parents after they did this for years, and my mental health instantly improved once I stopped talking to them - you've got to think about the consequences of meddling.

Just some different thoughts from the ones above - not concentrating on financial common sense, but how important those little things are in life.

Robin9

I would begrudge him spending on himself : "He likes to play golf maybe once or twice a month, eats out now and again, enjoys going to ‘see a show ‘now and again and he loves his Sky tv package to watch the footie…."

If you were to be blunt - would he storm out of the room, burst into tears ................

Would he sit down and do a statement of affairs ? (ie look at every single £ in and out)

cfw1994

Sometimes you cannot help others 🤷‍♂️
The bottom line is that he is giving away free money in order to have a bit more disposable income today….if he cannot see that, then what more can you do: he isn’t a child!

Well done for trying to educate him anyway 👍

Cobbler_tone

TBH I wouldn't say too much because he is a 36 year old man with 3 kids. He must know what a pension is if he's had one before. I wouldn't be opening up a vacancy in my house for him though if he needs it. On that money he can soon find a new rental.
For his wage I don't think his hobbies sound too excessive.

I work with people who don't pay into our pension, or choose not to buy BOGOF company shares, in exchange for more money in their pocket today. 

kempiejon

so without me stating the obvious about changing his spending habits which I will be saying I would really appreciate any ideas on what I can say which hopefully will shock him into waking up and restart paying in….

Why? It might look like a good idea to you but isn't it up to him? Did you say he's a 36 year old father, not a toddler.

Unfortunately I don't think you can do anything. The Stanford marshmallow experiment showed that 3 year olds that grasp deferred gratification will prosper in later life, the others not so much so it's too late to do anything except minimise the damage it does to you.

Marcon

Crudecheese said:

So….my step son is 36, earning about £48k, joint custody 3 children and in rented accommodation. Has has quit his company pension citing he cannot afford to pay in. He has a pension from a previous job valued at, I guess..£25-30k.

 What do I say to him to get him to rejoin his employers pension?.

I could say his uncle cannot retire for another year and when he is 67 will only have the state pension to live on. I could tell him his mother, (my partner) who is going to retire in the Autumn will only be able to do so because I paid into a pension most of my life so I can support her for the next 3 years till she gets her state pension. I could tell him my half brother who does a manual job and has no pension or savings has another 4 years to go till he gets his state pension. Until then his body aches everyday and he can’t wait to stop work. I could tell him I retired early because I paid into a pension for years and life now is very sweet. I could also remind him that his mum and I recently moved into a larger house and due to his tenancy ending soon he may have to move in with us and thankfully my pension was one of the main reasons we were able to afford that house…ironic that my pension helps him and he cannot see it.

He likes to play golf maybe once or twice a month, eats out now and again, enjoys going to ‘see a show ‘now and again and he loves his Sky tv package to watch the footie….

so without me stating the obvious about changing his spending habits which I will be saying I would really appreciate any ideas on what I can say which hopefully will shock him into waking up and restart paying in….

many thanks in advance….

You don't say where in the country he lives, but renting anywhere reasonably 'urban' isn't cheap, any more than 3 cost centres (aka children) are.

Maybe let him make his own decisions...? Or let his mum have a go at him if you seriously think there's a hope he might listen to her even if he won't listen to you!