House deeds

Getinformed

Hi, just an advice as I need to make sure I'm doing the right thing. My husband is the sole owner of the matrimonial home, mortgage paid of in 2019,we are together for 16 years.Second marriage to me, 3rd for him.
Recently I've noticed some strange activities, change of will etc probably under the duress of the family so I registered my home rights at the property. My question is how in a legal way my name can be added to the deeds and secure my future, as I'm worried he may see this as a coercive control. Is it possible that he leaves the assets to his children and nothing to me?
Thank you in advance. 

Keep_pedalling

I think you should have a sit down with him and discuss this. The sensible thing for him to do would be to make a will in which he bequeaths the home to his children but gives you a life interest in the property. This protects his children’s inheritance and protects your security as you will have the right to stay put for life.

Not doing this could leave a financial and legal mess behind for both you and his children. 

poseidon1

Getinformed said:

Hi, just an advice as I need to make sure I'm doing the right thing. My husband is the sole owner of the matrimonial home, mortgage paid of in 2019,we are together for 16 years.Second marriage to me, 3rd for him.
Recently I've noticed some strange activities, change of will etc probably under the duress of the family so I registered my home rights at the property. My question is how in a legal way my name can be added to the deeds and secure my future, as I'm worried he may see this as a coercive control. Is it possible that he leaves the assets to his children and nothing to me?
Thank you in advance. 

Trying not to be overly flippant, but if you now perceive a necessity to place a restriction on title to the home ( to protect your rights), perhaps your second marriage and his third is now on the rocks and you may now be looking at a divorce lawyer to secure your financial future?

Certainly, given that the marriage for both of you was not your first, I am surprised this was not discussed by you both prior to going into the marriage.

Getinformed

Thank you for your comments. It's really important to me to know whether this is a normal discussion and most of the partners who live a happy life together feel the obligation to discuss and this is normal or if they have something else in their mind they can be adamant to that and just change their will.... The fact that he ignores that conversation, makes me believe that he doesn't want to do it... Divorce is an option to take what I'm owned for 16 years together, but I don't want to go that path as I love and respect him and a divorce will destroy him 
On the other hand I feel like it's my right to know what security I have as I don't want to have to deal with his children if anything happens... 
Just to mention that we never made any prenup agreements. Thank you again for your advices. 

poseidon1

Getinformed said:

Thank you for your comments. It's really important to me to know whether this is a normal discussion and most of the partners who live a happy life together feel the obligation to discuss and this is normal or if they have something else in their mind they can be adamant to that and just change their will.... The fact that he ignores that conversation, makes me believe that he doesn't want to do it... Divorce is an option to take what I'm owned for 16 years together, but I don't want to go that path as I love and respect him and a divorce will destroy him 
On the other hand I feel like it's my right to know what security I have as I don't want to have to deal with his children if anything happens... 
Just to mention that we never made any prenup agreements. Thank you again for your advices. 

I have noted on this forum that the incidence of blended families arising from 2nd and subsequent marriages does seem to be an increasing phenomenon in the population. However, there doesn't necessarily seem to be a 'normal' in how the interests of the spouse in the ' dependant' position is balanced with the interests of the children from prior relationships.

As indicated by Keep_pedalling, the ideal scenario would be for the surviving spouse to be granted a life interest to occupy the matrimonial home, with the house reverting to children of previous marriage on that spouses death. This obviously protects the spouse but is also very IHT efficient from a tax point of view.

 However this type of arrangement is predicated on a full and frank adult  conversation between the parties concerned, which from what you say your husband ( for whatever reason) is unprepared to have.

If you don't know the contents of his will, and how ( if at all) you have been provided for, surely notwithstanding your sentiments, this is going to have a gradual corrosive effect on the marriage?

As matters now stand you are clear that you don't want to deal with the children on your husband's eventual demise, but even under the ideal scenario outlined by Keep_pedalling,  children are often in the mix even if this is only by virtue of a cooperative  co-trusteeship with the surviving spouse.

Finally, you may find the thread below of interest, given it relates to  similar issues you have raised here, albeit in that case the issues reveal themselves on the eve of a new marital relationship.

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/6575899/private-pension-nominees-versus-wife#latest

In this thread the OP is about to enter the new marriage, but has already been put on notice by her husband to be,  that his children from a prior marriage are 'to get everything'. 

The saving grace in that post, was that the new husband to be had apparently stated he would eventually provide the OP with a lifetime right to occupy the property after they married.  The OP, however expresses a distinct sense of uncertainty as to his intentions, but  similarly ( as in your own case) an unwillingness to have a robust upfront conversation to resolve matters. Your current circumstance is where that OP could eventually find herself. 

comeandgo

Both my husband and myself are on our second marriage and we each value each other more than our separate children, our wills leave our assets to each other, though in Scotland we do know the relevant children get a bite at the cherry on death of their parent.  I really do wonder on the state of the relationship when the children outrank the needs of the surviving spouse.

Emmia

Keep_pedalling said:

I think you should have a sit down with him and discuss this. The sensible thing for him to do would be to make a will in which he bequeaths the home to his children but gives you a life interest in the property. This protects his children’s inheritance and protects your security as you will have the right to stay put for life.

Not doing this could leave a financial and legal mess behind for both you and his children. 

I'd personally want more certainty than just the will... Wills can be easily overridden by just writing a new one for a few hundred pounds. 

But if the OP feels the relationship is rocky, (and as this isn't the first time at the rodeo) hopefully they have things to protect themselves in place

Getinformed

Thank you for your advice, however as someone mentioned will can be replaced at any time. All I want for myself is to have a proportion of the house on my name that would equal my contributions for 16 years. If not done that to me looks like the partner used me and my financial contributions but wants to save all the assets for his children that are not bothered to come and see him when he was almost on his deadly path.... They were all busy.... I have been the one to look after him all these years (he's been 4 times in a bad health crisis )work and take breakfast to bed and I am not happy to be kept in a dark at my old age, so yes you are right. Talking is needed but he doesn't want to talk. 
Thank you once again, it's interesting to know what other families did in a similar situation. 

Emmia

Getinformed said:

Thank you for your advice, however as someone mentioned will can be replaced at any time. All I want for myself is to have a proportion of the house on my name that would equal my contributions for 16 years. If not done that to me looks like the partner used me and my financial contributions but wants to save all the assets for his children that are not bothered to come and see him when he was almost on his deadly path.... They were all busy.... I have been the one to look after him all these years (he's been 4 times in a bad health crisis )work and take breakfast to bed and I am not happy to be kept in a dark at my old age, so yes you are right. Talking is needed but he doesn't want to talk. 
Thank you once again, it's interesting to know what other families did in a similar situation. 

How much does this matter? If he won't talk or give you some formal ownership then would you divorce and seek a financial settlement as part of that?

His dying intestate would leave everything to you as his spouse automatically, but a will with different wishes leaves you in a tricky position. It's probably time to start the conversation.

Getinformed

Exactly Emmia, you are right and I thank you for your time 

RAS

I wholly get you concern and I understand why your husband doesn't want "his" house to be inherited by your siblings or cousins. But his decision to exclude you from ownership does not bode well.

If you were tenants in common, it would be reasonable that his portion eventually went to his children, and you might make some provision for them in your own will. But meantime you'd be protected by a IPDI trust until you died/remarried/moved into care.

There is a recent thread where a husband is in the process of divorcing his estranged wife, is intestate, and has a major health crisis so may have lost capacity. If he is able to divorce, his wife will still get a substantial settlement, he may not now be able to divorce or make a will.

If you decide to divorce, you may want to explore what happens if he dies before the absolute is granted? And regardless of your decision, to take legal advice on registering your matrimonial rights and possibly a restriction?