Increase in child custody from 40/60 to 50/50

jaypwfd · 20 February at 8:24PM

I currently have a little boy aged 7 years old. He is 8 in June.

I split with his mum who is my ex wife in 2018 and we divorced 2 years later. She is now with someone else and has another 2 children and I am with someone else and remarried last year

Since splitting up clearly my little boy was a young age and over a 10 day period I have had him 4 days and his mum has had him 6. So it was on a 60/40 basis. As I was 40% of the time and she was 60% of the time then I have paid around £300 a month in Child maintenance.

I have always wanted to have an equal share but as he was younger I guess it was fair that he was with his mum more, and it just something I did nothing about and now regret it. Now he is older for about a year he has said he wanted to spend more time with me and my wife who has got an amazing relationship with.

His mum actually acknowledged this at the end of least year and we said we would speak in the new year. The only way I could see was to do 50 x 50 and we each have him 5 days each.

Basically, she has refused 5 and 5 but suggested 7 and 7. Once I agreed to 7 and 7 (which she clearly didn’t think I would accept) she now wont do 7 and 7.

Her reasons for him not spending equal time with us both are very mixed. First of all it was because she didn’t want him spending time with my wife, (even though he spends 4 days with us anyway), then it was that he will miss his younger brother and sister who are 2 and 3 amongst other reasons such as she doesn’t see why it needs to change as its worked for so long.

She keeps going on about the fact that the reason im doing this is to save £300 a month, which yes would be nice, however im used to paying that and my intentions are to have an equal share with my son, especially when he wants it. In all the conversations that I have recorded I have not mentioned CSA once.

Long story short, she wont budge, so I offered to do mediation. She has refused that. I got a solicitor involved and they wrote her a letter and she’s refused to respond.

She has failed again to take an interest in mediation.

Due to this it looks like ill have to make an application to court.

What frustrates me is that I have to go through this process, when in the last 2 years her and her partner have had domestic issues and both got arrested for affray (not convicted) and my son ended up on a child in need plan.

Has anyone been successful in increasing from 40/60 to 50/50 as the solicitor seems confident but again its down to the court and to prove why its need when its been the same for years.

All I want is EQUAL share with my son.

HampshireH · 20 February at 8:40PM

A court will probably want CafCass to do a report and they will take the child's wishes onboard at that age if they are mature enough to express them

jaypwfd · 20 February at 8:48PM

What does CaffCass entail of, and forgot has anyone ever represented themselves?

DefeatedDad · 9 June at 9:06AM

You can make a court application yourself rather than pursuing costly fees. Remember to state facts and not your own opinions in the form. I wish I could inform anyone dealing with child dispute NEVER to use mediation. It has no legal binding and often, the mediators will show bias towards one party over the other (even if they insist they act impartially). You will have to pay a court fee, but it's likely CafCass will get involved as the judge will request a section 7 report. Now BE CAREFUL of CafCass as they are known not to provide the full facts (and often provide the s7 report a few days before the next court hearing). I would highly recommend you obtain free legal advice (if you're in London there's a helpful clinic in Westminster).

DefeatedDad · 9 June at 11:24AM

CafCass are a non-executive public body who assist the legal system in issues regarding Child safeguarding and dispute issues. When you receive free legal advice (either 30 mins free from a solicitor's firm or a longer free consultation period as I mentioned), they will often describe CafCass as "lazy". When representing yourself, ensure you convey all factual information, and include references to what you do with your son, how the inequality impacts on you mentally/financially, and if it impacts on your immediate family. Your support network serves part of the report as well as the nature of the relationship with your son. This will help support your argument on why you are looking for a shared care arrangement over the current arrangement which seems unequal. Your son's wishes must form part of that report, and I would recommend you attend the centre where CafCass will speak to him. He is old enough to verbalise his wishes and this should not be ignored by the court appointed CafCass worker in the report.