Help - How to Prove a Scam

HollyandCo

MEM62 said:

Is there a family member close to this individual that may have more influence?  

She has a son, he doesn't show much interest in her.  I've tried to track him down but no luck.

We are a small group of friends and we can see very clearly what is going on.  The other friends are really worried about her becoming upset and angry at us for interferring.

I'm going to contact Action Fraud to see what they advise.

HollyandCo

george4064 said:

Kind of feels like you're at the stage where you just need to write a letter outlining your concerns, evidence of your scams that its a scam and draw the line there.

Ultimately, if they come crawling back if/once they realise its a scam at least you've made your thoughts clear that it was a scam all along.

We are talking about a lonely, isolated old lady here.  She is vulnerable and needs protecting in the kindest way.

tacpot12

You definitely need to make it clear that you will still be her friend even if she continues to fall for this scam. You should perhaps also make it clear that you will warn people she might be trying to engage in the scam, and might even report her to the police if you are concerned enough. 

jaypers

Just something I wanted to throw in too on this, which can sometimes focus people’s perspectives if they are on the receiving end. I don’t like to refer to these activities as ‘scam’ by ‘scammers’…….it is a crime by criminals/thieves. Somehow, the ‘scam’ label in a bizarre way almost legitimises the activity. These criminals need to be caught and locked up. 

powerspowers

I agree that you need to be supportive rather than cut your friend off. It can take years for someone to accept that they are being exploited. 

Your local police, social services or trading standards may be able to offer support. Sometimes hearing from a voice if authority can help. There’s also things they can do such as install call blockers. People who have been scammed find their details are passed on to others. 

It’s a really difficult situation to support someone through and can be frustrating! It can be more like supporting someone in an abusive relationship, as if they would rather carry on than accept they have been had. I found this article illuminating https://www.theguardian.com/money/2025/feb/01/bank-team-scam-victims-fraud?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other

flipper_72

Someone close to me was sucked into one of these schemes, he fell for it and was moving “interest” to build his money every day. He was also pushing it on others. He was very lucky as he managed to get his money back out, I think he must have been one of the earliest to buy in, but the others lost tens of thousands. There was always an excuse why the funds weren’t available to withdraw.

Definitely look out for your friend, and speak to Action Fraud. Good luck trying to convince them not to put any more funds in.

DiamondLil

jaypers said:

Just something I wanted to throw in too on this, which can sometimes focus people’s perspectives if they are on the receiving end. I don’t like to refer to these activities as ‘scam’ by ‘scammers’…….it is a crime by criminals/thieves. Somehow, the ‘scam’ label in a bizarre way almost legitimises the activity. These criminals need to be caught and locked up. 

Oh yes, I absolutely agree. I've even emailed "Scam Interceptors" about the use of the term "Scam". Many of the victims of this type of crime are older and not too familiar with that term. Call it what it is - fraud, theft, stealing, criminal. Us old codgers are much more familiar with those words.

ButterCheese

HollyandCo said:

She has a son, he doesn't show much interest in her. 

Unfortunately I was expecting this, it's so sad

SacredStephan

DiamondLil said:
Oh yes, I absolutely agree. I've even emailed "Scam Interceptors" about the use of the term "Scam". Many of the victims of this type of crime are older and not too familiar with that term. Call it what it is - fraud, theft, stealing, criminal. Us old codgers are much more familiar with those words.

When I was talking to my elderly FiL about scammers and cold callers he looked a bit confused until I realised that he didn't know what a scammer was - not in his vocabulary. When I used the words crooks, thieves and robbers he knew immediately. I'm fairly sure that AgeUK produce a booklet to help people understand the situations where they might be defrauded.

eskbanker

SacredStephan said:

DiamondLil said:
Oh yes, I absolutely agree. I've even emailed "Scam Interceptors" about the use of the term "Scam". Many of the victims of this type of crime are older and not too familiar with that term. Call it what it is - fraud, theft, stealing, criminal. Us old codgers are much more familiar with those words.

When I was talking to my elderly FiL about scammers and cold callers he looked a bit confused until I realised that he didn't know what a scammer was - not in his vocabulary. When I used the words crooks, thieves and robbers he knew immediately. I'm fairly sure that AgeUK produce a booklet to help people understand the situations where they might be defrauded.

Indeed, downloadable (or orderable by post) from here, albeit heavy on the use of the term 'scam':

https://www.ageuk.org.uk/information-advice/money-legal/scams-fraud/scams-guide/